The Latest Scoop: Should Your Kids See You Naked?
Photo: Veer / The BumpCheck out what’s buzzing around the Internet this week:
Mom discusses nudity at home — The New York Times
Hilary Duff Shows First Photo of Son, Luca Cruz — PEOPLE
Parents Are Less likely to Take Their Daughters Outside to Play — Time
Maternity clothes: Is tighter better? — Lil Sugar
Guiliana Rancic considers adoption and surrogacy — MSNBC
The Knot Blog
The Nest Blog
Honestly mothers who breast feed their babies see their naked breasts all of the time, and mothers who co-bathe their babies are going to see them naked then too. As long as its not dad and it’s not done to be sick or disgusting there is nothing wrong with it. It’s not like they really understand what nudity is anyways.
Why is it ok for a mother to co-bathe with their baby but not the father? I can see the weirdness if the baby is a girl but our baby is a boy and he co-showers with his father occasionally. I agree that seeing a parent naked as long as it is not in a sexual situation is ok. If your family attends a gym or public swimming pool, your children are going to see strangers nude in the locker rooms as well. Seeing thier parents unashamed of their bodies is the first step children need to learn to be comfortable with and unashamed of their bodies and to have healthy self-esteem.
I never thought of the self-esteem issue in that manner before. I applaud you for that. I am constantly aware of my lack of self-esteem rubbing off on my son (still not working and haven’t lost the baby weight). The nudity situation is another area I need to be aware of. Thank you so much for your input!
yeah, there is nothing wrong for a 3months old baby. but I wonder at what month exactly can we say bye.
I don’t care whether a baby is a boy or a girl – there is nothing wrong with a child seeing their mother or father naked to a certain age…I wouldn’t let my teenage son see me naked but as with anything else there are lines that must not be crossed…but as far as a baby goes, it is not innappropriate.
I agree with this. It’s not a big deal when they are really young. My 6 month old sees me naked all the time. She’s in the bathroom with me when I shower, so there isn’t another option. This will stop before she learns to talk, but I don’t think it’s a big deal. She also used to take baths with my hubby. Now that she can reach for … things… we decided that she will only bathe with me. She’s won’t remember any of this later, so who cares!
I think it is completely appropriate to see your parents (both of them) naked and bathe with them at a young age. Not only for self-esteem but for safety. And as far as being a teenager, I was about 13 when I saw my mother changing clothes without shame. At that time I had very low self-esteem and at camp I was ashamed of the way I looked (even though there was nothing wrong with me). Seeing my mother uncaring improved my self-esteem and I learned to appreciate and love myself. I have a better respect for my own body and learned to see the person instead of the physical flaws that others may have.
If there is nothing sexual about it then it shouldn’t matter if your infant sees you naked. There is an age limit however! I agree with mmoz
I used to put all of my kids in the tub with my husband until they were old enough to bathe under more distant supervision. We don’t freak out if someone is seen briefly in the nude. Hiding leads to curiosity and curiosity gets kids and teens into more trouble than good. Be open and explain that their bodies are their’s and nobody has any right to invade their space nor do they have the right to invade anyone else’s. We are raising kids to be adults here, not kids to grow up to be kids. Nudity is only sexual if you make it that way.
i breast feed my son, and my 11 year old daughter still wants to jumpin the shower with me!!! I see no problem with it as long as itsnot sexual…
My ex use to shower with his mom until he was 10 year old. Now I find that to cross the line. When it comes to showering together or a child seeing their parent naked I don’t see it as an issue but there are some limits. When they are babys and toddlers it doesn’t matter which sex on either side but when the child gets a little older like say around the age of 5 I think its ok for same sex to continue to shower or breifly see naked. I wouldn’t shower with my son when he’s 5 or 6 but it wouldn’t bother me if my husband did. If I had a daughter I would bath with her as long as she wished. I wouldn’t find it weird if she saw me naked if she was 13 or older either. But I wouldn’t let my 13 year old son see me naked. Its healthy to show your children that you are comfy with your self because they will be with their bodys to. As long as they don’t walk in on their parents having sex or as long as there is no weirdness or inapropriateness then its fine.
My grandma would walk around the house naked (usually because she was looking for clean clothes or something, she’s a little eccentric) with 5 boys in the house. She said she’s glad she did it cause they weren’t curious and it kept them “out of trouble.”
I completely agree with Mandy. My sons are 3 and 4 & 1/2, normally they bath in the tub themselves, but occasionally to save time they will shower with my husband or myself. And a few times we had a “family” shower if behind on schedule. But after a certain age when the children start hearing about sexual encounters and all that they will have to shower with the parent of the same sex. And we are expecting a baby girl in summer this year, she will not be bathing in the same bathtub or shower with her brothers but will with us until she reaches the “body curious” age.
As long as nothing innappropriate is being said or done (shouldn’t be done no matter what the situation is) then I don’t see any problem. We don’t look at any child in a sexual way and I think people who do are in need of major help. I saw a news video a few years back of a group of little girls doing a dance routine to Beyonce’s Put a ring on it. They were in “costumes” of short shorts and belly shirts and had stage make-up on. The news was discussing the issue of a lot of people finding it inapropriate and to sexually provocative for these little girls. And all I could think was: If you are looking at these 7, 8, 9 year old girls and seeing it as too provocative then you are the one who has the real problem and need help not the girls parents. Since predadors will find an inapropriate arousal in the child no matter how he/she is dressed or presented.
I think this is fine untill you get got the point that the child is able to tell friend what they see and things so prob 5-6 yrs
I think nothing wrong for baby, he is watching her mom, most respectful then any other person.
It’s funny that this article came out when it did because I find myself questioning when to stop dressing, etc. in front of my daughter, who will be three in May. Her dad is always covered up around her but I just figured since we are both girls it’s not that big of a deal-I grew up in strict Italian household where sex and nudity were made to seem “dirty” and I alsways felt ashamed of my own body and I’m determined not to do that to my own child. Right now she will watch me change and she’ll even barge in when I’m in the shower to talk to me and doesn’t seem phased by the fac that I have no clothes on-it’s just a part of life for her. I don’t know how I feel about walking around naked with teenagers in the house, but I feel that if there are no issues and everyone is comfortable with themselves. Of course I have my mom who constantly tells me that I shouldn’t dress in front of her, but again she grew up and raised us to believe that nudity=sex and I don’t think that should be the case.
I took showers with my mom until I was about 5 years old, and could fully shower properly myself, I felt nothing weird about it at all, so its all about the situation…I did also have to shower with my two brothers who were my age up until then, and I did not enjoy that as much, But it sure did get questions out of the way quickly!
Just like anything with children if you make a big deal out of it they will. Just to let everyone know I am a man, my wife and I are expecting in September. Nudity and sex are not the same. In fact you don’t have to be nude to have sex. If your child plays sports in school, there is a good chance they will see other children nude (same sex). I agree with one of the other writers who said it takes away that question in their head also. It becomes no big deal. Now if it does, then you should address it like I hope you will do with any issue that comes up with your child. We are the only country that makes a big deal out of this. And its funny because we have the biggest issue with sex!
I am seriously amazed that this conversation has really gotten this far. Our children are going to see strangers of the same sex any time they go to shower before and after entering a pool. Hiding from them is only going to make them feel ashamed of their bodies and not feel comfortable in those situations. As long as you are teaching your child what is appropriate behavior nudity in certain situations should not be shameful.
I still shower with all my kids, at the same time. I have a girl and three boys ages 3-9. None of them even notice each other’s bodies, they are so used to seeing each other, that it really is a non-issue. We don’t walk around the house all day naked, but I love that everyone is comfortable in their skin, it’s how God created all of us. I think making it into a “hidden” non-discussed item will only make it a “bigger” deal when they get older……just my take!!
My children (when they were younger) both took showers with me or was in the bathroom while I took a shower or bath, cause lets face it sometimes that is the only way you get to bath. Now that my son is 7 I am trying to instill “privacy” with the opposite sex parent. My 6 year old daughter however still occasionally takes a shower with me when I need to be in there to help her get clean. My husband helps my son when he needs assistance cause my son is at the point to where he does not want me to see hin naked so we respect each others privacy. We just recently had our 3rd child so both of my kids saw my breast as I was breastfeeding. They were very curious so we explained the anatomy of it all. I also go to the pool with my children and my daughter sees me naked (along with other adults) while we are all showering.
but what if its just mom or dad?
my mom always did and me and my siblings are very comfortable with our bodies because of it lol. i can admit i’d ave sleep overs and my 6 year old brother would run into the room naked and think it funny,, bu it hasn’t had any damaging psychological effects on us lol
I shower with my 2 1/2 year old son still. I don’t find that this is an issue. We have had the talk of no touching others’ private areas because those areas are theirs and theirs alone. My husband showers with him as well. We are currently expecting another son, due in August and I’m sure we’ll be showering together (when he is old enough) as well. I agree that if you hide it, it will just make them more curious, so we are pretty open about it. We are at the stage with our son that we are trying to instill privacy, but honestly, he could care less.