How Does She Do it All? Well, She Doesn’t

Photo: Thinkstock / The Bump Photo: Thinkstock / The Bump

I came across a post by Liz over at Mom-101 about the myth of “doing it all”, and with the demands of all the roles I play: mom, wife, employee, daughter, friend, neighbor, Girl Scout leader, football team mom, I often get the same question as Liz: “How do you do it?” If I’ve ever given the impression that I have things under control, I apologize! There is no one super mom who can handle everything with 100% thoroughness, and anyone who acts like they do (and makes the rest of us feel like crap) has a scary closet somewhere, I promise.

Here’s my liberating list of what I don’t do and what I choose to do instead:

Clean up the house every day. Or every other day. Or once a week. Just this weekend I panicked when a friend asked to go inside to use the bathroom. “Be careful in there!!!” I yelled. Snuggle and read to the kids every night.
Cook. I take about every kitchen shortcut possible. My favorite cookbook is called Desperation Dinners. Enough said. Make sure we all eat together and talk about our day.
Volunteer in the kids’ school. Volunteer once at the beginning of the year to get the lay of the class, and I do attend most school performances.
Wash my car (or the dog) nearly enough. Give my dog tons of kisses every day and keep the car’s guts safely serviced.
Wash out my humidifier or the inside of my sonic toothbrush until there’s an entire eco system growing. Brush my teeth every day.
Snuggle with my husband. Tell my husband I miss him and plan a monthly date night to reconnect.
Talk to my friends on the phone. Text them frequently.
Attend every doctor’s appointment. Organize them and let my husband know when he needs to cover one.
Offer to host play dates or sleepovers. Know who my kids are friends with and why they like them.
Put away my clean clothes. Have clean clothes.
Work out regularly. Go for family hikes or take the kids swimming.
Watch TV. Spend 30 minutes a day reading.
Wear makeup on most days. Wash my face.
Wrap presents nicely or remember to include gift receipts. Remember birthdays and put thought into the presents I buy.

I don’t do it all, but I do a whole lot. And for me, I’m there for what matters most.

What things do you not do to make room for the most important stuff?

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