That’s because of the way experiments are designed. The only way to PROVE that a certain amount of alcohol is safe is to have test subjects drink carefully regulated amounts of alcohol over the course of the pregnancy, and then see at what level problems begin to occur. But since this is clearly unethical (primarily because the baby is being put at potential risk at no benefit to itself), scientists have to rely on more indirect methods, such as women self-reporting their drinking habits.

So while it’s true that no amount of alcohol is known to be safe during pregnancy, it’s also misleading to say that only total abstinence is safe.

(It’s identical to the tobacco industry’s claim that cigarettes have never been proven to cause cancer – that’s because scientists can’t ethically ask subjects to smoke cigarettes over 20 years then see what the results are, so technically, the tobacco companies are correct.)

The point: One drink won’t kill you or the baby. But better to err on the side of caution.

I don’t miss the real thing because my baby’s needs are the most important thing to me now. I wouldn’t consume anything I wouldn’t want to feed right to my baby.

So I make a decision to drink a half glass of red wine based on my reality, how I feel, how stressed I was at work, etc. Not because of scare tactics by the medical community who are just afraid of getting sued if they say a little is okay and then something unrelated happens and the parents blame them. Sadly, red wine gives me heartburn right now.

My reasonable rules, agreed upon by my OB, that I feel are best for me AND baby:

No hard alcohol at all
No alcohol in the first trimester period
All tests had to be normal and everything going swimmingly
4oz of red wine once a week

It’s worth noting, I have high blood pressure, and stress is a factor. So I would save my weekly glass for if I had a really hard day, and then use other stress relief methods for the rest of the time.

Why would you choose alcohol as a way to de-stress? Personally it would stress me out even more knowing that I could be harming my baby, whose brain develops from from beginning to end of pregnancy and can be affected by alcohol.

I had the occasional sip from my other half’s glass of wine but never half or a whole glass. The best way to look at it is, would you give your newborn half a baby’s bottle of wine?…