Can Moms Really Have It All?
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Everyone’s talking about this interesting read in the July/August issue of The Atlantic called, “Why Women Still Can’t Have It All.” Anne-Marie Slaughter, a professor of politics and international affairs at Princeton University, the former director of policy planning at the State Department from 2009-2011 and the mother of two teenagers, takes an in-depth look at the belief that today’s women can have it all. Slaughter believes they actually can’t because the only women who seem to be achieving high professional positions are either wealthy enough to employ full-time nannies, are self-employed or have flexible work hours. She still believes that women would be able have it all if America’s present economy and society structure would undergo some changes in regard to workforce norms and values.
Slaughter offers a few suggestions that could help women achieve this goal:
- Make work hours flexible: This isn’t just for moms, but also for everyone. Slaughter writes that, “Balance could be better for us all.”
- Redefine the arc of a successful career: Since the average life expectancy has become higher, people can have multiple careers and jobs throughout their lifetime. There will be times to focus on work and times to focus on family. What Slaughter calls “investment intervals” should be accepted. She writes, “Slowing down the rate of promotions, taking time out periodically, pursuing an alternative path during crucial parenting or parent-care years — all have to become more visible and more noticeably accepted as a pause rather than an opt-out.”
- Get the men involved: Let’s face it, many of the female executives that we see would be nowhere without their partners. Men should be taking an active interest in how they can balance work and family life, too.
- Push for changes: Women in higher positions should push for more changes in the workplace and promote family-friendly policies.
What do you think of this article? Do you think women can become successful while balancing work and family life? How do you do it?
Plus, more from The Bump:
8 Biggest Mistakes New Moms Make
The Back-to-Work Guide for New Moms
The Knot Blog
The Nest Blog
i work in fast food and everyone at my job knows im pregnant. i work about 40 hours or a little over that in one week with 2 days off. i try to not mix my work with my personal life. that causes me too much stress when i do. I hear complaining at work, i leave it there at work. Vise versa at home. Everyone, not just pregnant women, should be able to do this. It would make things alot more easier and less stressful.
The only way to “become successful while balancing work and family life” is either to reinterpret success or to admit that any balance or equilibrium between work goals and family goals is not a result of satisfying both but rather a result of living in the gray area where you recognize that both sets of goals necessarily suffer, but not to such an extent that abandoning one or the other entirely is inevitable.
I’m a full-time professional mom and I’m okay with the guilt that comes from both ends — not spending as much time with my son as I’d like, and not spending as much time at the office as I’d like. I’m also okay with the guilt that comes from thinking that many days, my son is well-served by his interesting, fun, engaging daycare with a garden and chickens and lots of outdoor space, staffed by people who know more about kids and infant development and activities than I do. I’m okay with pumping nearly around the clock to keep up with his nutritional needs, even as I spend a large part of my Saturdays with him at the farmer’s market picking out organic produce to steam, puree, and freeze in ice cube trays. I’m okay with working an hour or two at home after my son goes to bed. I’m also okay with knowing that I haven’t gotten eight straight hours of sleep since my fourth month of pregnancy, and I’m not likely to get eight straight hours of sleep for another five months, when I can ease off the nursing and pumping.
I am not, however, okay with the perpetuation of social sources of guilt like this idiotic Atlantic article. I am not okay with equating women having it all with women having the same opportunities and options as men. I am not okay with the presumption that men who leave work early for activities with their kids are good fathers, while women who leave work early for activities with their kids aren’t serious about their career. Finally, I am not okay with this constant stream of articles by women about attachment parenting, working mothers, breastfeeding, or other child-rearing choices in which the authors unjustifiably slide from explaining the choices they made to explaining why I must either make those same choices or admit to the world that I am a delusional and incompetent parent.
I agree with this article! More options and more flexibility should be given in the workplace so people could manage their families with less stress. Also I agree that a time out to take care of your family should not be looked at as a “gap” or negative to your career progression.