Did One of My Kids Get an Unfair Advantage with Breastfeeding?
When my first child was born (after a grueling 36 hour labor) – he and I were an exhausted, overwhelmed, high strung, nervous mess. I had every intention of breastfeeding, but I had no idea how hard it would be. I latched him on over and over and as he fought me, we’d both just sob. I tried nipple shields, a lactation consultant, and after about two weeks I had an emotional and physical breakdown and switched to formula. It was insanely difficult to let go of that ideal while feeling the pressure from moms around me. I wish I could say changing to formula made things so much easier, but it didn’t. My son had a huge case of The Colic and we both were pretty miserable for six months as we tried different formulas to find one that his tummy could handle.
I was scared to have a second baby after that first experience but worked up the courage to go for it. When my daughter arrived, I wanted to try breastfeeding again. I was (way) more relaxed that time around but it still took 5 full days for my milk to come in. I used little droplets of formula to supplement while I latched her often and pumped to stimulate production. And then a moment I’ll never forget, while a lactation consultant was on the phone with me, I heard suck, and swallow! I was feeding my baby with my own body!! I went on to breastfeed exclusively for 6 months after that. Interestingly, overall, she was a much easier/happy baby. At 6 she’s also healthy, smart, and rarely sick.
So what does this all mean? Did breastfeeding make my daughter an easier baby? I don’t think so. My son is 9 now (he’s also healthy, advanced in school, and rarely sick). He’s still a pretty intense kid, too. I’m not convinced had we breastfed things would have turned out much differently. But do I wish I could go back and try it again with a new relaxed, accepting attitude? Absolutely.
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I am on my fifth child and she has been the longest one I have been able to breastfeed. The difference in this one in comparison to the other four are as follows: the first two were boys and I was very uncomfortable with the idea of nursing boys, but with the third boy I had a little encouragement from a friend but was never able to get him to latch right I think it had something to do with introducing a bottle too early and with the fourth I was doing great with nursing but at almost a month into it I came down with a horrible case of the flu and couldnt even get out of bed to do more than pee without puking so pumping was out of the question and after the flu was done I realized I had completely dried up! I was devastated but thankfully she took to formula with no issues. Now I have my fifth child and we are nursing like champs! She gets formula once a day with some cereal and I think we are getting ready to start teething so I am really nervous but definitely willing to do what I can to get through it! I CANNOT WAIT! I love all these new experiences even after five kids things are still new to me and it makes me appreciate being a mother that much more!
No, it didn’t make your daughter a more relaxed baby, your relaxed attitude did. My first was pretty high maintenance, my second wasn’t, and my second was more formula fed than my first. Formula doesn’t make you a bad mom, neither does breastfeeding make you a good mom, and they don’t make your baby easier or harder. And if one turns out smarter than the other, that’s probably more from an older sibling adding more attention with the parents.
I feel the exact same way!!!
@Linda – its amazing how different every child experience can be – just when we think we figured out something, the next one comes and it’s all new! @Cara – I have definitely found the more freaked out I am, the more freaked out they are, hard to not be sometimes though. Thanks for your comment!
You may not notice the difference but there is one. BFing exclusivley has been proven millions of times to be the healthiest, smartest thing you can do for baby and it makes all the difference in the world. Maybe your son doesn’t seem different then your daughter health or smart wise but I’ve seen many kids with noticeable differences in health and IQ which was probably from BFing. I EBF for a year and now we’ve added two or three small meals of adult food and he loves it, but he still loves his mommy milk! Also, BFing isn’t said to make ‘your baby easier’, its only mentioned to make baby more attached emotionally and therefore more physiologically well off down the road due to nursing. But there’s more that comes along with nursing to equal a well in tune better off baby and thats all the attachment parenting. But that’s a whole nother talk!
HI, i dont quite know what to make of the story, this is my first baby. my milk wasn’t coming in at all, after 5 days, her paed. insisted we start her on formula as she was losing soo much weight and my milk just was not coming in. She went on to breastfeed and formula feed till four months old, with work pressures and all, we just sort of stopped.now strictly formula a,d has even started cereals, (she doesnt like rice, but loves banana and fruity porridges). But her paed.( a different one as we had to move house state) was really upset with me today when I told him she had started cereals.he practically gave me a talking to for stopping breastfeeding and even going ahead with cereals. I am soo upset, we just went in for vaccinations and decided to see the paed as she had a flu and I get this! I feel like no matter what I do I will always be wrong its soo fustrating.
My baby is happy and healthy and growing just fine. Why wont people accept that MOMMY really knows best.
I had a terrible time breastfeeding with both my boys, I was in so much pain and with both of them I got to a point where my nipples were bleeding. I remember with my first seeing his mouth all bloody and being terrified that something was really wrong with him until I looked at myself, it was just me. What saved me from completely giving up and going to the sterilizing and heating bottles in the middle of the night was the Jack Newmann breast feeding clinic, they were amazing. If any of you are interested in successfully breastfeeding long term, check out this website with videos and articles and all of the real information on the benefits of breastfeeding and if you can get to Toronto, Ontario, Canada, make an appointment.
http://www.nbci.ca/
They determined that I didn’t have enough milk for either of them, my first was partially tongue tied which they said would make it feel for me like dragging my nipples across a carpet, it did, they fixed that, they helped with proper latching, they put me on some herbs to naturally help my body produce more milk, Blessed Thistle and Fenugreek. Within two weeks I had enough milk to completely satisfy my monsters and enough to pump milk for my sister-in-laws adopted baby girl.
I ended up breastfeeding my first until he weaned himself at 13 months and I am still breastfeeding my second at 15 months in the morning and before bed. The bond we have is amazing. They get an added level of antibodies with every sip of breast milk.
I think the coolest thing fact I found about breast milk is that if a baby comes in contact with the flu virus rotovirus there is an enzyme in the breast milk that will actually bind with the virus and make it benign and they will just pee it out.
We have this awesome build in resource that is a perfect food for our babies, if we can as moms get the right support, help and encouragement, breast feeding is possible.
Oh, and fantastic nursing tops, breastfeed in public and no one will see a thing, no awkward covers needed, check out this site – http://www.momzelle.com/