Don’t Deny It: Your Vacation Revolved Around Your Baby
Photo: Thinkstock / The BumpI spot them everywhere. They’re the ones pushing enormous strollers where they don’t belong, like onto hot tennis courts and up muddy hiking trails. They’re the ones at the playground before 8 a.m., the ones making dinner reservations for 5:30 p.m. They convince themselves they’re still fun-loving and spontaneous, even while lugging around a truckload of sunscreen, snacks, diapers and wipes at all times. They are Parents On Vacation with Small Children.
I recognize these people because I am one of them. My kids are past the baby stage now, but I’m still in transition — from Normal Person on Vacation to Parent On Vacation. The differences are huge.
Normal people sleep in on vacation. Not parents. No one told the baby waking up before dawn is a buzz kill. Normal people on vacation go wherever they want, whenever they want. Not parents. We plan our days around naps and feeding schedules. Normal people go new places on vacation, try new things. Not parents. We’re slaves to the routine — playgrounds, family-friendly chain restaurants — the more like home, the better.
I can hear you parents-to-be protesting from here. Not you, you’re going to be different. Your baby will adapt to your life, not vice versa. To you I say: Good luck with that.
I thought the same thing when I was a new mom, until a few 4:30 a.m. wake-up calls during a family vacation proved me wrong. Turns out the baby wasn’t as adaptable as I’d hoped, nor was he a fan of the Pack ‘n Play. Then there was the time I had to leave the hip brew pub before our wood-fired pizza was ready, because the baby was having a meltdown. He couldn’t tolerate the noise and the over-stimulation.
In fact, my baby couldn’t tolerate a lot of my favorite vacation activities. The beach was too hot, the cobblestoned village too bumpy for a stroller, and a bike ride required complicated equipment we didn’t have. As for tennis, boating, or naps in the hammock? Forget it.
All you die-hard nature lovers who strap on the baby backpack and go hiking and camping? Good for you. If you can honestly tell me that carrying around all that extra weight and getting spit-up in your hair is a vacation, then go on with your outdoorsy self!
As for me, I’ve drastically adapted my vacation activities post-kids. I trade off with my husband so we can each sneak in a quick swim or a few holes of golf. We sit out on the deck and enjoy the sun during naptime, or a glass of wine after the kids are in bed. We rarely ever eat out at restaurants. Our vacations are nothing like they used to be, true, but they work for us. And it’s better than no vacation at all.
How did your vacations change after you had a baby?
The Knot Blog
The Nest Blog
And then of course you get those parents that don’t let their kids hamper their plans at all – they just leave the kids with other people whenever they want to go on holiday, because the kids are ‘too much work’. I cannot relate at all.
That’s not our style either, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t daydream about bringing a nanny along on vacation! Luckily, I can sometimes get the grandparents to join us.
We recognized that a vacation with baby was going to be something different (my son is now 5, so the situation has changed from year to year). Both of us work, so it’s a rare occasion to spend more than 5 days with him. That can lead to bliss or constant boundary-pushing, it varies. We opt for family vacations because we want him to see the world and experience new things. So we try to focus on that. Trading off time to relax or do what you want is a great idea. And when kiddo wakes up, go back to exploring from the kid’s vantage point!
My older son is now 6, and he’s at a great age for traveling and exploring. It really does get easier, in my experience. Even though they give up naps!
Ah yes, I’m with you 100%.
The irony though, is that my husband and I just went out first child-less long weekend in over two years. And while we definitely relished the alone time, I found myself looking at the families with small children and thinking how much fun my girls would have at that park, or how this beach would be just perfect for them.
I guess you can’t have it both ways. And don’t get me wrong, dinners out and sleeping in were definitely cherished.
That’s why you have to do a family vacation AND an adults-only vacation! I’m still waiting for the latter one.
I’m totally on board with the family vacay AND grown up vacay. Because family vacays are exhausting!!!!!
My husband and I are blessed to have a grandparent (my mother in law) that is willing to keep the kids for an entire week if we ask. We used to have her keep the kids for a few days, we would vacation at a destination only a couple of hours away and have her bring the kids for the last few days. I have learned it works better the other way around though. Because after a family vacation you need an adult only vacation to recover from it! :0)
I hear that! I know a lot of people who have the grandparents help out during vacation. it’s a win-win!