You Asked a Pregnant Woman What?!
Photo: Getty Images / The BumpYou know what I got sick of when I was pregnant? The invisible sign I was apparently wearing around my neck inviting random strangers to ask me anything. Does that sound mean? Look, a smile and a gender prediction from a nice old lady or two is one thing. “When are you due?” and “What are you having?” seem reasonable enough, at least the first two dozen times. But it got to the point where I would flinch when I had to get onto an elevator with other people.
Doors open, I get on. Person standing across from me eyes my belly. Pause. “So, is this your first?” “Do you know what you’re having?” “When are you due?” “Have a name picked out yet?” By the time I get to my floor I have spilled my personal business to someone I know less intimately than my dry cleaner. And worse, I usually have to hear their pregnancy commentary, too. Like the one lady who told me I looked like I swallowed a watermelon. Um, thanks?
And then there was the guy who said, “Wow, you’re eight months pregnant? You look great! Not like my wife did.” Nice. I’m sure she would love to hear you telling that to an elevator full of strangers.
It can get even more awkward if you get into childbirth or breastfeeding territory. One time shortly after I’d had a baby myself, I attended a baby shower for a coworker I knew only from the office. At one point she and her husband, who was in attendance, turned to me in front of everyone and said, “We read that before you give birth you should desensitize your nipples with a washcloth so that breastfeeding isn’t so uncomfortable. Is that true? Did you do that?” Talk about uncomfortable!
And did you ever make that common mistake of thinking someone asked “What do you do?” instead of “When are you due?” So you start prattling on about how you majored in psychology in college but had no idea what to do with your degree so you ended up working for your uncle’s accounting firm, until you realize the other person’s looking at you like you have two heads and so you stop short and say, “Oh. November.” Or was that just me?
Really, I don’t know if there are any safe questions to ask a pregnant woman. Especially if you’ve ever made that ultimate mistake of asking “When are you due?” only to realize with horror that the woman is pushing a newborn in a stroller and therefore has already had the baby.
The lesson here is, if you encounter a pregnant woman, smile pleasantly and talk about the weather. If you are pregnant yourself? Avoid elevators at all costs. Take it from me.
What’s the most surprising question someone asked you during pregnancy?
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I remember telling someone what I do when they were really asking when I was due, too! By far the most hilarious experience was when a guy catcalled to me while pregnant. He yelled, from a moving vehicle, “Hope that’s my baby!” Jeez, really?
I’m one of the few women that actually loved the attention! I could talk about my babies until I’m blue in the face, stranger or not. Sometimes, that can be a bad thing, I’m aware. But, I was never annoyed at any questions, no matter how personal. I’ll openly admit that I am insanely nosy, so I understand where a lot of other people’s curiosity comes from. I’m an open book! I’m also a “no-boundaries” type person, so there’s not many questions that I’m uncomfortable with. Everyone’s different, though!
Last week I had two teenagers ask me why I would have a baby when I am so old. I am 26! I think they must be watching too much of the teen mom shows and now think that is ideal. Scary!
Oh that’s so sad! I’m 32 and on my second pregnancy so I must be ancient to be having a baby!!!
So far the most outragious question has been “My gosh your boobs are huge. What size are they?” Really? Like I’m going to tell you. And they aren’t that much bigger than any other 7m pregnany lady.
I had a cashier at the store down the road from us ask me if I was having twins. When I told her no, she asked me if I was sure because I was big for only being 6 months pregnant. I was so upset about it, my husband had to get my doctor to tell me I was gaining weight at a healthy and normal rate and was far from big. I shouldn’t have let it bother me the way I did, but it’s something that stuck with me for the rest of my pregnancy!
When I was pregnant I had a cashier ask me if I was pregnant with twins. When I told her no, she asked me if I was sure because I was big for only being 6 months pregnant! Seriously, you NEVER comment on any woman’s weight, especially a pregnant one! You would think being a woman she of all people would know that.
I had a customer at my work say to me “if you didn’t have your hand resting on your belly i would have thought you were just really fat!” then laughed as though it were a funny joke. I laughed too, at the ridiculous lack of social skills.
LOL! Oh my goodness, your comments are making me laugh! Clearly I wasn’t the only target of nosy strangers.
My boss asked me if i was going to breastfeed. I was so embarrassed, i didn’t want to discuss that with him. I just replied that was going to try. Then he went on for about 5 minutes about how his wife breastfed all 3 of their kids and it’s the best thing for babies or else women’s bodies wouldn’t produce milk…ewww. That was by far the oddest conversation i had with him.
I had a woman come up to me and ask what birthing method I was using :-\ as If that’s not bad enough, she starts lecturing me on the horrible things that can happen if you use medicine for pain relief. Really? Who asked you?!
OMG….I am in my last 2 weeks of my second child right now and I feel like you are describing the last 4 months of my life!! I was so huge EVERYWHERE with my son that no one dared ever ask me questions much probably for fear I was just extremely obese but this time around I look like I swallowed a volleyball (according to the BF last night Lol) and after months and months of CONSTANT, DAILY and WAY TOO PERSONAL questions (not to mention the inappropriate strangers who think it’s ok to rub my belly without even asking first) I am about to go hormonal on someone!! I’ve had more than one ask me if it was planned…really?? My son is 6 so most want to know why such a gap between the two…I usually tell people (as if it’s their business) that we only intended about 3 years between but life had other plans for us. One guy replied to that comment with “Oh yeah I know what you mean…we thought we were done after our 2nd and next thing ya know the condom popped!!” Classy…real classy…
Ewwww!! TMI! That’s horrible.
My female coworker asked me if my nipples had turned black yet. I barely know this woman but she constantly through my pregnancy would make weird and uncomfortable comments like that. Unmmmm, for future reference lady, coworkers should NEVER discuss nipples.
Double ewwww!!
I think “Was it planned?” is always my favorite.
I had some lady at the OBGYN’s office ask me if I was due before Christmas with twins. I said nope, 1 baby not until the end of March (i was only 5 months at this time). Her response, wow, you’re huge. Thanks lady!!!
My favorite question is when one elderly lady at church asked me about my morning sickness. How much/often and how bad. But I have to admit – she was upstaged by the woman who told me that I ‘have to’ go on fertility treatments and be like the Octo-mom. Talk about lack of manners.
So I look really young for my age (I’m 26, but people typically think I’m under 21). I was at the grocery store the other day with my father shopping for a big family dinner. The cashier started talking about how I must give my father a “run for his money” and mentioning how hard it must have been for him to hear I was pregnant at such a young age….not only that but later she blatantly looked down at my hand to make sure a ring was there. Finally, she told me how her baby was 15lbs when born! Seriously, what is wrong with people?