Comments on: What Changes After Baby Arrives (Hint: A Lot)

By: amille

amille — Sun, 28 Oct 2012 22:59:43 +0000

? I have made it a priority to talk to other mommies so I have a realistic sense of what we are in for and boy have people given me earfuls!

I feel like you were just naive to have made such promises to your husband but he was also wildly naive to have believed them, and furthermore to continue to hold you to your word. I wonder if this is at all related to the amount of time youve been married before you get pregnant. My husband and I have been together for five years and are looking forward to our lives changing.

By: amille

amille — Sun, 28 Oct 2012 22:53:59 +0000

Did the two of you fail to speak to other parents beforehand

By: Jayme Massman

Jayme Massman — Thu, 25 Oct 2012 01:50:03 +0000

We’ve been saving tons of money from our “entertainment”/dining out fund – without even meaning to! We continued to budget the same amount as we did pre-baby, but we just don’t spend it. Going out to eat isn’t as easy as it used to be. He never was a fantastic sleeper in his car seat and it’s not as fun to go out when you’re holding a baby. I’d rather eat at home! We also eat dinner a lot earlier – we used to always eat around 6:00 p.m., but now we eat as soon as he goes down for a nap anywhere close to dinner time!

Date nights are often Netflix movies on the couch. It’s a different life, but it’s a great life!

By: Fauveann moody

Fauveann moody — Wed, 24 Oct 2012 10:56:21 +0000

Since getting pregnant me and my husband have been less intimate and he is really a crab I tell him I’m tired but he still wants what he wants

By: Danielle Koubaro

Danielle Koubaro — Wed, 24 Oct 2012 01:49:12 +0000

I am so glad so many other mom’s can relate. I could have written more about this, but word count! It is a hard transition learning how to be a mom while also learning how to be a wife in a different way then before life with baby. My own husband read the comments posted here and I think it helped him understand ‘it isn’t just me’. The night he read this post when it was just a draft he responded “it is so well written, but I am sad, I miss you”. He didn’t need to explain further, I understood – it is a learning process but I am dedicated to being a wonderful mother and learning to be a present, wonderful wife again, with due time.

By: Melissa

Melissa — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 22:29:55 +0000

This is a great post! I read the first paragraph and that described my husband and I almost exactly. I was in the hospital 2 weeks after having my son this past August, and still recovering at home – but well enough now to get around.
He and I have had the “I thought you were going to be the same as when we first got married” and other variations of that discussion. He needs the affection but I find it hard both physically and mentally right now. And I am so happy to be with my baby sometimes I forget about my husband. LOL

We are working on developing new patterns and getting in date nights when we can, to keep up our romance and relationship.

By: Kere

Kere — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 20:29:22 +0000

great post! very true on all accounts. and i get the “why can’t you be like you were when we dated in high school”… HA! where to start on that answer

By: Lori

Lori — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 19:19:03 +0000

I love your post, Danielle! My kids are now 5 1/2 and 2 1/2, and we’re at the point of not only managing their general care, doctor appointments, playdates etc… but have added on the never-ending juggling of two different school schedules, classroom volunteer requests, PTA meetings, etc. on top of our own adult responsibilities to our jobs and our home! My brain is on such overload, I still have trouble having a focused conversation with my husband – or anyone for that matter!

By: Shannon Guyton

Shannon Guyton — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 19:12:35 +0000

You can never know how it will be, how you will be, until you are there. I had a hard time paying attention to what my husband was saying with baby in the room. I would interrupt him if baby needed something, almost like something instinctual made it impossible to do anything while my baby had a need. I also found that I got SO much affection/touch from baby, I didn’t need as much from my spouse (but he needed it still).