CircleBumpCheckedFilledMedicalBookmarkBookmarkTickBookmarkAddCheckBoxCheckBoxFilled

How to Help Your Partner Be A Dad

For dads, sometimes parenting comes naturally—and sometimes it doesn't. Hear how this mom helped her partner become a good parent.
save article
profile picture of Jayme M
Updated April 12, 2019
Dad holding excited baby.

My husband and I started out on almost equal footing when our son was born. I had more experience with babies than he had, but not by leaps and bounds. We both became first time parents at the same time. I’ve already shared how great my husband was in the hospital and in the early days. He truly was amazing.

But soon, my husband went back to work. He was still just as eager to help me and care for his son, but it was different somehow. He wasn’t there all the time like I was. He knew how our day went only because I told him, not because he was right there experiencing it with us like he had before.

I started to know our son better than he did. As my son grew (even just a few days can make a world of a difference with a newborn!), techniques that used to calm him no longer worked. He changed the way and the amount he liked to eat. He changed his preferences for how he slept. Babies just do that. The problem was my husband was limited in his time with our son—he had few hours each day, when I had all day. My husband would get frustrated when he was unable to comfort Finn. Something he used to be good at no longer came easy to him.

So what would I do? I showed him what usually works for me and then left the house. It was just for an hour or so as I went to lunch. By myself! Each person has to find their way of comforting each baby. What works for one parent might not work for another. What works with one baby might not work with the next. My husband and son just needed to find their way.

Related Video

Sometimes, the best way a mom can help is to teach, and then get out of the way. I could have just continued to do it all myself, but that wasn’t best for my husband. It wasn’t best for my son either. I had to let Dad be Dad, even if it meant a few more tears and frustrations. If there had been a safety issue or if my husband became too frustrated, he could always call or tell me he was uncomfortable with me leaving, but that wasn’t the case. He was just a little nervous, that’s all.

My husband was willing to put in the effort and spend the time to be a great dad. The rewards are huge for all of us!

Jayme is wife to Jeff and mom to Phinehas (Finn), born in April 2012. She’s passionate about being a mom and a wife, which are the two biggest blessings God has given her!

save article
ADVERTISEMENT

Next on Your Reading List

father and daughter dressed in formal clothes smiling
8 Steps Fathers Can Take to Empower Their Daughters in Toddlerhood
By Ray W. Christner, Psy.D., NCSP, ABPP
Father's Day Gifts
55 First Father’s Day Gifts That Will Make Him Smile
By Cassie Kreitner
fathers day gifts from baby to daddy gif
15 Special Father’s Day Gifts From Baby to Daddy
By Martina Garvey
ADVERTISEMENT
young woman using dating app on smartphone while sitting on couch at home
Match Has Launched a New Dating App for Single Parents Called Stir
By Nehal Aggarwal
8 Types of New Dads
8 Types of New Dads
By Kylie McConville
parents holding up baby in front of colorful background
Why (and How) You Should Make a Family Mission Statement This Year
By The Bump Editors
new parents at the hospital after the mom just delivered her baby
The 5 Big Surprises in Store for Your Relationship After Baby Arrives
By Ashlee Neuman
ADVERTISEMENT
4 Ways New Parents Can Strengthen Their Relationship
4 Ways New Parents Can Strengthen Their Relationship
By Tammy Gold
Can Having a Baby Strengthen Your Relationship?
Can Having a Baby Strengthen Your Relationship?
By Jayne Heinrich
Date Night: How Many Parents Are Actually Taking One?
Date Night: How Many Parents Are Actually Taking One?
By Anisa Arsenault
ADVERTISEMENT
shark boy and lava girl tv show still
Sharkboy and Lava Girl Are Returning to the Screen—As Parents
By Nehal Aggarwal
elon musk and grimes pick unique baby name
Elon Musk Opens About Fatherhood and Parenting New Son With Grimes
By Nehal Aggarwal
dad holding daughter at the beach
9 Signs He’ll Be a Good Dad
By JD Roberto
ADVERTISEMENT
Benjamin and maisani Anderson cooper
The Heartwarming Reason Anderson Cooper Is Co-Parenting With His Ex
By Nehal Aggarwal
Stacks of money represent unpaid labor of women
Women’s Unpaid Labor Is Globally Worth $10.9 Trillion, Report Says
By Nehal Aggarwal
couple having coffee in bed together
The 5 Most Expensive Cities for Valentine's Day Sitters, Study Finds
By Nehal Aggarwal
man sits down while looking at wifi signal on phone
This New Mom Turned Off Her Husband’s Wifi for the Best Reason
By Nehal Aggarwal
ADVERTISEMENT
Why You Hate Your Partner After Baby Arrives
Why You Hate Your Partner After Baby Arrives
By Kaitlin Stanford
parents looking at summer infant baby monitor
Dads Are Quicker to Check on Baby Than Moms, Study Finds
By Nehal Aggarwal
somber dad holds crying baby
What Dads Need to Know About Postpartum Depression in Men
By Rachel Morris
ADVERTISEMENT
Article removed.
Article removed.
Name added. View Your List