Agreeing to Have a Baby — a Dad-to-Be’s Perspective

Photo: Getty / The Bump
Photo: Getty / The Bump

One of the most important decisions anyone can make in their lives is the decision to have a baby. I distinctly remember being woken up in the middle of the night and seeing Mrs. Daddy Nickell sitting up in bed staring at the wall. She wanted to know, right then and there, “Do I? Can I? Would I? Will I?” have more babies.

I could see it in her eyes – it was a classic case of “fight or flight.”

Now, in our case, it was understandable, as I was already a daddy to four children from a previous marriage, and had a 15-year vasectomy  and lived my last ten years as a comfortable, divorced bachelor.

I immediately reached over, rubbed her shoulders, and told her “Absolutely. I could not think of anything more important or more fulfilling than to have more children and to raise them together as a family with you.” I told her I’d already done research on the Internet and had found a physician in Los Angeles who specialized in the latest technique of “laser welding” for vasectomy reversals.

Now all I could see in her eyes was “I love you…”

The conversation about having a baby is an important one, and in many cases, an unavoidable one. Be ready: 99 percent of married couples make the decision to have babies, so if you’re freshly married without children, just be prepared to have an open and honest conversation about your future and raising children with your partner. I won’t lie to you — deciding to have a child will change your life forever, but in a very positive way. Raising a family takes an army, and you’ll likely need to lean on other parents, neighbors, close friends, and family members. It isn’t easy, and you may have to give up your daily five-mile run in the morning or drinking a few beers on Saturday afternoon with the guys, but I can tell you it’s worth every moment.

When you decide tell your wife, yes you’re ready to have a baby, be prepared to accept the full responsibility to help raise, hold, love, educate, and work together as a team for the next twenty plus years — let’s face it, our parenting duties aren’t finished the day our youngest kid turns eighteen!

There’s an old saying, “Children are like flowers, the parents are there to plant the seed, offer protection, warmth, nourishment, and to then let the flower grow and bloom.” So when you’re ready to agree to have a baby, be prepared to do just that. I can’t begin to tell you how incredible it is to be able watch your child grow and flourish.

So when you agree to have a baby, enjoy every moment, as every stage brings about different questions and emotions, and every stage flies by more quickly than you think.

Did you, or your partner have to “agree” to have a baby? What was the biggest deciding factor?