Obsessive Worrying While Trying to Get Pregnant
Photo: Shutterstock / The BumpWhen there’s something that you’re looking forward to and desire, you just naturally think about it. You can’t help it. Pregnancy is no exception. For me at least, when you’re trying to get pregnant, it’s on your mind all.the.time. It’s like hoping that Christmas will be coming, but not being certain exactly when it will be here. For close to the last three years (except when I’ve been pregnant), I’ve taken my basal body temperature to determine where I am in my menstrual cycle. I’ve already gushed about how much I love having that information — from a purely practical stand point.
While charting gives a woman the information that she need to be smart about trying to conceive, it also gives her information on how to obsess about pregnancy. Because, let’s be honest: just about every woman who is trying to get pregnant is going to obsess (to some degree) about the process! Today, I’ll introduce you to Conceiving Connie, who is hoping to get pregnant.
Early in her cycle
Conceiving Connie thinks: “I didn’t get pregnant last month. I guess I won’t have a June baby, after all. That’s too bad as my nephew was also born in June and maybe they could have shared a birthday. But I think a July baby would be great!”
Conceiving Connie does: She’ll go through a minor grieving process, coming to terms that she won’t be having a baby in the next nine months. She adds in Ovulation Predictor Kit (OPKs) this cycle, just to ensure timing is right.
Getting closer to ovulation
Conceiving Connie thinks: “Okay, we’re getting close. On this OPK, does this line look darker than the control line? It’s darker than yesterday, but is it dark enough? Is this temperature high enough to indicate a spike? I just felt a twinge on my left side. Could that have been an egg that just released, like, five seconds ago?”
Conceiving Connie does: Starts using OPKs. Makes sure she and Conceiving Charlie are having sex every other day. Gets real vigilant on taking her temperature every day.
Confirming ovulation
Conceiving Connie thinks: “Oh, that was enough of a temperature spike. Ovulation confirmed! Here we go!”
Conceiving Connie does: Looks up her estimated due date to see when the baby would be due if she was pregnant. Looks and her (and Conceiving Charlie’s) timing to see if it was good. Rests in the fact that what’s done is done and she can’t change it now.
Post-ovulation
Conceiving Connie thinks: “Oh, I think I just felt a little cramp! Could that have been implantation? There was a tiny bit of blood — was that implantation? My breasts are a little sore — is that pregnancy hormones or PMS? If I’m pregnant, how should I tell Conceiving Charlie that he’s going to be a father? When can I start taking a pregnancy test? I don’t want to get a negative test just because I’ve tested too early.”
Conceiving Connie does: Monitors her body for any possible sign of pregnancy, even though it’s likely too early to have any. Continues to take her temperature, watching for lows and highs. Looks for ways to take her mind off peeing on that pregnancy test. Can’t resist the pressure any longer, so she starts taking tests about 10 days post-ovulation. Tries to be optimistic without setting herself up for major disappointment. Is either thrilled when she gets a positive test or gets disappointed when she gets her period and starts over the next month.
All that thought — and that’s if that cycle is normal! If Conceiving Connie wasn’t charting, she’d still be spending her time thinking about getting pregnant, but she wouldn’t know what to think about. Should she be fighting off the desire to take a test or is it okay to take a test? Should she still be focusing on timing intercourse well? What should her obsession be focused on?
I know that obsession and overly worrying about conceiving isn’t helpful, but it’s human nature. So I Conceiving Connie like it when I Conceiving Connie can obsess with a purpose!
Did you obsess while trying to conceive? If so, about what?
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I absolutely obsessed. I was very thankful for charting as it gave me something more to DO (well, other than my DH, haha!!) And when I knew my ovulation period was over (sometimes 20 days into my cycle) I could stop worrying so much (vs I would have worried the whole cycle). By charting I realized that when I ovulated after 20 days I had less of a chance of retaining the pregnancy (I had 3 m/c’s), so I stopped trying after that time and successfully kept a pregnancy. Knowledge is power IMO!
I can related ALL too much to this article! It made me laugh though, it helps to know that everyone else out there is as crazy as I am! I have a little more obsessing to do though (hopefully not for too much longer).
It is crazy how I followed this obsessive routine EXACTLY the first month. I did the cycle charting, then added OPKs, hounded my husband for lovin’ on an almost clockwork schedule…then couldn’t stand the 2ww and started testing early only to waste money because good ol’ AF showed her ugly face. Still TTC, but trying to be a little less obsessive…but only a little.
This sounds far too familiar!
DH and I are having a break over Christmas from all of it so here’s hoping I chill out and don’t return to Obsession for Women in the New Year!
It is really hard to not obsess about trying to get pregnant. Even when you tell yourself that you are not thinking about it, you really are. Subconciously it is there and there is no way to turn it off until you get pregnant.
Hello, my name is Conceiving Connie and I’m obsessed with getting pregnant! It’s always good to know that you’re not alone. I know my Mom thinks I’m losing it. It’s been a little more stressful for me since my MC in Nov 2012. I just thought I would’ve been pregnant again by now. But, I know that it will happen when I start obsessing over it. No, to try and stop obsessing
Thanks ladies! Glad to know that I…I mean…Conceiving Connie isn’t alone in her obsessing!
Ha ha ha! It’s crazy how we all go through the same things! I am only on month 2 of TTC, hopefully not too many conception cycles to go! Tired of being conceiving Connie, want to be pregnant penny!!!
This is so true! Great blog. After the first two months of disappointment (not long, I know, but I also had to wait nine months for my period to return after stopping depo) I decided to view charting and OPKs as tools and reassurances, not as hard-and-fast rules. I need those extras though! If I were 22 I would “let it happen,” but now I don’t have the luxury of time. I need to obsess a teeny bit.