I Love Babies, But I Don’t Want Another One
Photo: Veer / The Bump
A friend of mine just had a baby. Her third. You might think at my age and stage, when just about everyone I know has had at least one or two kids, that the new-baby excitement may have worn off. Not so. I waited breathlessly for my friend’s Facebook updates, checked email and voicemail, eagerly awaiting the news. Would it be another girl, as expected? What would they name her? When would they send out a picture?
One of the cool things about babies, in my opinion, is that they are the great equalizer. I’ve seen big, burly construction-worker types go all googly in the presence of a baby. I’ve seen too-cool-for-school teenagers, grumpy old ladies, and buttoned-up businessmen go gaga for babies. How can you look at a tiny bundle of cuteness and not melt a little?
One of the funniest things I’ve ever seen is when my own three-year-old son, who is more a rough-and-tumble kid than the sentimental type, was saying good-bye to some friends of ours who’d stopped by with their two-year-old son and new daughter. The toddler boys played with trucks the whole time and seemed oblivious of the newborn. But then my son shouted out the door as they were leaving, “Bye! I like your baby!”
People often assume that because I go cuckoo for cutie-pies, I must want another baby of my own. That is not the case. The two kids I’ve got are plenty, thanks. I will hold your baby till the cows come home, rock her, snuggle him, sniff that fuzzy little head, but I have no problem handing them back and going home for a full night of uninterrupted sleep. I’m done with midnight feedings, colic, spit-up, teething — diapers, even! No going back now. But that doesn’t keep me from being thrilled when someone else is having another one. Mazel tov!
Though little ones do grow up fast, as any mom ever has been told a thousand times, the excitement of welcoming a new person into the world never gets old. Now pass me your baby, would you?
Do you know how many kids you want to have?
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Somewhere between 2 and 12! Kidding! Kind of. Growing up, I had always wanted at least 4, then I got to know some larger families (6+) and they are really, really cool families. But I didn’t start having kids til my early 30s, so a dozen probably isn’t in the cards for me.
But we’ll keep trying as long as it feels right to do so!
I would LOVE to have 4, 2 + 1 or 2 adopted. My husband is more about the 2-3…so we’ll see. I think 4 is big without being HUGE. Is it weird that I’ve just always envisioned a large family for Christmas’?
I definitely agree at times, but am on the fence about having another someday. My daughter is 4 and my son is 17 months, but I could imagine when my son is about 4 years old having one more. I love babies too and potty-trained children even more, but I really dread the sleepless nights, amongst a few other things! I guess we’ll see what feels right when the time comes. I’m the third child and loved feeling like our family was a big clan.
Having just had my third, I have this sense that our family is complete. I don’t think there’s a set magic number, though. And It is hard to be in my late thirties and still not getting enough sleep. It makes me feel old, people! But… I feel nostalgic. This time last year, I was living in anticipation of my girl’s arrival. It’s a wonderful feeling.
I have had five babies, and because of my age, I’m done. Although I still look at pregnant women with jealousy and I get that stirring when I see little babies. I’ve heard that takes a while for that feeling to go away.
We have three. I had always wanted four. But with a child on the autism spectrum, there is no way that I have enough energy to bring another child into our family. I am still in the process of accepting that our family is complete.
Im pregant right now and its gonna be my first one:)
one and done thank you! My baby girl is my little princess and she is all I need : )