When to Share the News You’re Pregnant
As excited as I was to hear about the royal baby on the way yesterday (I’ll admit it, I squealed), I couldn’t help but wonder how Kate and Will were feeling about letting the world in on their intimate news. They may have had to share the news about their baby on the way a little earlier than they might have liked, due to Kate’s hospitalization with hyperemesis gravidarum.
In my first pregnancy, I had all the naïve faith in the world that unprotected sex = pregnancy = you have a baby. I excitedly shared my pregnancy news with my parents, in-laws and friends at 6 weeks. Everyone was over the moon for their first grandchild! But, I was about to learn a big lesson: sometimes things don’t go the way you dream. Sometimes pregnancy sucks, sometimes your baby cries all day and you want to check yourself into an asylum hotel, and sometimes pregnancy doesn’t last at all. Literally, the day after I shared the news, I ended up miscarrying. Not only was that heartbreaking and difficult to bear, but I had to also go “un-tell” all of my loved ones. It felt like I had played a cruel joke on everyone — I had given them an amazing gift and then I had to take it away and feel their pain over the baby’s loss as well my own.
A tight-lipped year later, and on my third pregnancy, I waited the full first trimester before announcing the baby. I’m not saying everyone needs to wait that long — but for me, it was easier to wade through those first uncertain weeks with as much caution tape surrounding my hopeful heart as I needed, without having to explain to anyone why I wasn’t jumping for joy quite yet.
So when anyone announces their pregnancy before their first trimester is up, even though I know statistically it will probably be fine — my joy at the news is always is tinged with an internal pang and hope that everything is going to be okay.
When did you share the news you were pregnant?
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The Nest Blog
the moment i found out i told my family. then waited three more weeks to start blabbing.
parents/in-laws immediately, other family=6-8 weeks, friends=8-12 weeks
We told our parents after 8 weeks and then friends and family after 13 weeks. Heartbreakingly we’ve just lost the baby at 18 weeks and telling people is just the worst. Next time, if there is a next time, I don’t want to tell anyone until it’s too obvious to be denied.
Charlotte, I’m so very sorry to hear this. I think it’s normal after going through loss to be very reluctant about sharing the news in the future.I have been pregnant 5 times and have 2 kids (not trying for any more). Losing a baby changes you and is one of the most awful things to experience. But a happy ending could still be there for you the next time, and I can tell you I never took for granted being pregnant or staying pregnant again. My thoughts are with you.