Finding ‘Me Time’ Is Impossible When You’re a New Mom
Photo: Cinnamon Chic / The Bump
My husband and I lead a very organized, balanced lifestyle. Everything has its place in the house. Or so it did…
Four months ago, we welcomed a baby boy into this world and now, our little guy has thrown our whole life balance off-kilter (in the best way possible). We enjoy every minute we have with him and we love him so much, but I’d be lying if I said I haven’t gotten extremely frustrated at times. Before baby, our lives had balance; after baby, we know no such balance.
It’s driving me nuts that I have not figured out how to make everything work out as well as before. I know — I know – that what I want is nearly impossible, but gosh darnit!, a girl can dream.
My husband and I really need to work on dividing out our time better. It would give us both a chance at some alone time. Currently, my husband does almost all of the housework and yard work and because of that, our yard and house are immaculate. I am very grateful that he’s able (and willing) to do it all, but that leaves me with Connor (our son) all of the time. That is fine, of course, but sometimes I just want a little me time. Is that so wrong? My husband has his outlet — he enjoys doing the yard work and it is something he can do on his own, uninterrupted.
Right now, I have no outlet. I have to adjust everything I do to fit Connor into the mix. Working out was my outlet and now I’m only able to do it once or twice, here and there. I want so bad to just go for a run by myself. I’ll get to clear my head, listen to some tunes, and get the rush of adrenaline running gives me. I miss that feeling terribly.
One day, we’ll figure it out…. hopefully soon.
How do you find time for you after baby?
Plus, more from The Bump:
10 Things to Do for You in 10 Minutes
The Knot Blog
The Nest Blog
My husband and I are going through this too. I think our solution is going to be that I get an evening “off” once a week. “Off” meaning out of the house, see ya later, goodbye!
Our schedule is a bit up in the air right now (with the new year starting), so it might be a few weeks before we know which night is best. But I’ll probably be home for supper, then head out. I’ll most likely to use it to run errands that are easier to run without a baby, but I’ll use a significant chunk of it to just be by myself!
I can’t tell you how much I relate to this!! My son Finn is 21 months and I’m just beginning to carve out a bit of me time. I have fantasies about going to the gym, sitting in a sauna, and then doing a few hours of mindless shopping or reading a great book. I feel so blessed to have this little being in my life. He wants me mOst of the time rather than his father which makes it a bit more challenging. I’m sure one day I’ll want this time back:-)
My husband and i work opposite hours. I work 55 hours per week and when i am not at work i am home alone with my son. It is really overwhelming. I would love to go back to working out more but my son does not do well in the gym daycare and i am desperate to even just grocery shop alone. I love my son more than anything but balance is a struggle.
My husband and I had 7 years together before we welcomed our miracle. She is a month old and we have hit a block. He is gone 14 hours a day at work and I balance my gorgeous daughter, keeping up the house and my volunteer work (I’m an event chair for a charity). I have no idea how to fit a shower in much less read a book. Gladly will take tips though.
I have found that putting my kids in the jogging stroller when they were inants allowed me to get the illusion of ‘me time’ while still bringing them with me, so I had flexibility when I could go. Because they were facing forward, and occupied (and it worked better when I only had one) I could just walk and get my workout while knowing my kids were safe as well. Otherwise, exchange with a friend-or run with a friend who uses a stroller too-she watches the kids when you go one day and then you watch when she goes. Balance with children and the amount of ‘me time’ that we want is not always what we need since our children do require so much of our time while they are little.