The Top 11 Ironies of Motherhood — Moms, Can You Relate?

Photo: Thinkstock / The Bump
Photo: Thinkstock / The Bump

Motherhood. It’s the most amazing, most confusing journey of your life. But it also comes with its fair share of ironies. Like, oh, baby is finally sleeping through the night, but it’s in your bed. Or the fact that you just bought baby a whole new slew of pacifiers, but baby now hates his paci. Oh yes, there’s no shortage of ironies with a little one in the house.

Here are 11 more ironies all mommies can relate to:

1. The baby FINALLY sleeps through the night — but only because he has a fever.

2. The one time you leave your cell phone in the car while you go to the gym is the one time your sitter was frantically trying to get a hold of you because you left her a bottle for the baby but no nipple.

3. You get caught up on all your baby shower thank-you notes — before realizing you forgot to address them before you sealed the envelopes.

4. Your toddler quietly entertains himself for a whole half-hour. Because he was busy drawing all over the furniture in the next room.

5. Just when you figure out something your picky child will eat, he’ll decide he doesn’t like it anymore. “I don’t like chicken nuggets and mustard now, Mama!” Good thing I just bought them IN BULK at Costco!!

6. At last, your toddler has started going #2 on the potty by himself! Too bad he pulls up his pants before telling you he needs to be wiped.

7. You manage to get both kids to take a nap at the same time — but not on the same day.

8. In a rare fit of productivity, you make a healthy, home-cooked meal. Then you burn the heck out of it because you forgot to turn the stove off while you gave the baby a bath.

9. After months of trying, you and that super-busy mom finally schedule a playdate for your kids. Then someone contracts an infectious disease the day before.

10. You get everybody’s sheets washed, dried, and put back on their beds. The very next day, someone has a diaper blowout, throws up, or spills a juice box all over their bed — or yours.

11. You can’t wait for your little shadow to be more independent. Then comes the day when he slams the door in your face because he “needs privacy” and he skips off to preschool without a backward glance.

Plus, more from The Bump:

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