How to Leave the House With Two Children — A Mom’s Guide
Photo: TriWest / The Bump
If you’ve read the title of this post, you probably are expecting a clear, concise answer as to how the heck you can get out of your home in one piece with two small children… I hate to disappoint you, but I don’t know either.
After recently adding a newborn daughter to our family of three, I’ve taken her on several solo trips while my husband watches our toddler son. Taking her out by herself to doctor’s appointments, the store, etc. has been infinitely easier than initially taking my newborn son out. I’m not stressed about anything. I keep a few diapers and wipes as well as an extra outfit and pacifier in a purse that stays in my car. Basically all I need walking out the door is my daughter and her car seat.
But both children? I haven’t even attempted it yet.
I know I’ll have to take both children somewhere, and likely soon. My husband is now back to work and my parents have gone home as well. My support system during the day is now just me. Inevitably, there will be more doctor’s appointments for both children as well as myself. And mainly, my problem is in the logistics of taking two children somewhere.
Who do I put in the car first? Do I bring them both out to the garage with me or leave one baby in the house initially? Who do I take out of the car first? Does my son stand and wait while I get his sister out or do I set the car seat on the ground while I get my toddler out of the car? Would wearing the baby (or the toddler?) make this any easier? Would taking a stroller be easier when we’re somewhere without grocery carts? When we’re out (at a store, appointment, or otherwise), what happens when someone inevitably goes to the bathroom? Where is there enough space to change either child with the other contained and unable to get into trouble?
Obviously, at this point, I haven’t quite figured it out. I’m sure it will get easier with time and practice, but for now, my husband seems to be running a lot of errands!
What are your tips on how to leave the house with two children? Help a lady out!
Plus, more from The Bump:
Are You Ready for Another Baby? — Take Our Quiz!
13 Signs You’re Ready for Another Baby
Does Having a Second Child Really Make That Much of a Difference?
The Knot Blog
The Nest Blog
I AM IN THE SAME SITUATION. Please someone give a mom advice.
I normally take both of my kids out to the car and have my 3 year old get into his car seat then go buckle my 1 year old daughter in. I then go back around and buckle my 3 year old in. He is normally the first one that gets out too. I tell him to “hold onto my car” when I get my daughter out. I hope this helps a little!!
I do pretty much the same thing – I have a 1 and 2 year old. I carry the 1 year old to the car while the 2 year old holds my hand. I have 2 year old crawl into the back seat (on the 1 year old’s side of the car) while I’m buckling in 1 year old. Then I go over to 2 year old’s side and buckle him in.
I hear you and for sure its a lot for one to take! I am a mother of two, a nearly newborn (4 months old now) and a toddler (who seems to be a lot more prone to making EVERYTHING more difficult since his baby brother arrived). What I do is I put the 2 yr old FIRSt into the car and take him out last. That way it is less likely he will be running out on me while I put his brother in or out of the car. On the changing part, I try to go somewhere where the 2 yr old entertains himself while I change his lil brother. Preferably a contained place! I try to get into the handicapped booth (where there is usually the changing station) and get the stroller to guard the door… Otherwise the 2 yr old will try to open the door and get out… HEY!!! IT IS POSSIBLE TO HANDLE THEM BOTH!!! HEHE. Good luck!!!!
You’re right–you just have to practice. My son was almost 3 when our daughter was born. My husband didn’t take any time off (he was at a new job) and my parents only stayed a few days. Grocery shopping needed to be done in addition to other errands and, unless I wanted to do them in the middle of the night (no, thank you), I’d need to take both kiddos. I’d recommend starting with a few short outings–to a cafe just to grab a coffee in a to-go cup so you can make a quick get-away if one starts to fuss. I also tried to time the outings when DD might be ready to nap (she was able to sleep in the car seat, so I’d just keep her in it). After a few times out, we were able to brave the grocery store. I was so proud of us, I even posted on my Facebook page! Now it still takes planning–especially since DD is now 9 months and not as willing to just hang out!–but we go out all the time. My biggest piece of advice at this stage? Only one errand at a time. Too much in & out of the car gets both kids cranky!
Same here….I have a two year old and an about to be one year old. My word of advice……While getting kids out of the car one at a time, please make sure not to lock younger child, ….in the house…….by herself……along with the keys and the cell phone. Yes, this really happened to me two weeks ago. Then after a failed attempt to crawl in a window (by failed I mean window fell on hand and smashed it
, I decided to break out the window on my back door. Two year old was easily entertained by Spongebob playing on the DVD player in the car. Thank god that I have my entire living room gated off and childproofed!!!!!!
I have a 17 month old and and a 9 week old and I’m still figuring things out myself, but I think I’m getting the hang of it and I’m happy to share what’s been working for me.
It’s all about working with the toddler’s schedule (since it’s the one that’s been established). And keeping him contained while you’re dealing with your youngest. After all, a toddler can toddle away while a newborn is fairly immobile. And you have far fewer meltdowns if you consistently run errands at a time when your oldest will be least cranky (like just after his nap, with food in his belly. And while we’re on the subject, It’s also best to feed your youngest as close to the time you leave as possible.)
My DS1 is usually penned up in a child-proofed area (our playroom) while I move DS2 to the garage in his carseat. Then I get DS1, open the garage and load him up before going back to the garage and getting DS2, loading him up and getting on our way.
I do wear DS2 if we’re going to be anywhere for very long and either load DS1 into a grocery cart or the stroller. If we’re going somewhere where there won’t be much walking involved, and where it will be safe for DS1 to explore or he will be fairly contained (i.e., pediatrician’s office, getting him a haircut), I keep DS2 in the carseat and just carry DS1 (And the carseat, It’s a bit of a workout…) until we get in where we’re going.
Whether or not DS1 will be in a cart/stroller determines who I get out of the car first. If he is, then I get him out first and settled before I strap on DS2. (The key at the grocery store is to always park by the stall where carts are returned so there will be a cart for you to load right by your car and you don’t have to worry about how to return it after your babies are loaded back up). If we are sans cart/stroller, I get the carseat out first and put it on the ground while I’m unloading DS1.
I haven’t had an issue with changing. Honestly, I don’t seem to need to do it while running errands very often. My DS2 usually sleeps through the errands, being lulled by the motion of the car and being carried when I wear him. And I change them both right before we leave, so they’re usually both fine until we get back. I should probably say that I try to stick to one errand a day, and try to make sure that it doesn’t last for more than 1 1/2 hrs. Best not to test the patience of tiny ones.
It’s what’s worked for me, and I hope it helps. I do have one last piece of advice: The earlier you get out there, the better. I’m of the philosophy that it’s easier to learn how to run errands with two, when the youngest has relatively fewer needs. The older they get, the more alert they are. And when they’re alert, they have more demands. The sooner you get out there, the easier it will be to grow together and ease into the time when they’ll both be toddlers!
Cheers,
AMP
I have a 5 month old girl and a 2 1/2 yr old girl. When getting in the car I put the baby in first, esp. if it’s cold outside, though I don’t think it matters too much who goes in first if you’re in the garage. Toddler in first if she’s full of energy and might possibly run out into the street or smack her sister when getting into her carseat. After both kids are in the car I go back for all of the gear. When getting out of the car I get the stroller out first and leave it by the door where i will be getting the baby, so as to deter anyone from parking there for the time being. I then grab all the gear and stash it in the stroller. baby out last.
I have the same concern now. I have a 3 month old and a 2 year old. But we don’t have a second car or garage (hubby takes the car to work and we live in NYC). How will I take the subway with them both? Any suggestions?
wear one, put other in stroller Or attach harness to oldest one
Thank you ladies for your awesome suggestions! Keep them coming- I’d love to hear subway suggestions as well!
I have a 2 year old and a 9 month old. It took me awhile to finally start taking them out by myself. But now, I have a routine. It’s hard when I go shopping because most carts only have 1 seat and my 2 year old doesn’t like to sit in the cart only the seat. So I kind of squeeze them both into the one seat and they love it. My two year old will wrap her arm around little brother so he is safe. It’s a challenge but definitely takes time to master!
I bring both out at the same time, holding the toddlers hand and carrying the infant. My two are 15 months apart. Now he can get in his car seat himself, but before he could do that, I hold his hand to get him into the car on his brother’s side, lock his brother in and go to the other side to get him in his seat. When getting out, I unbuckle the older one and he waits patiently while I get his brother out. We all get out on his brother’s side of the car. This way no one is running around in the street. I love the double stroller and take it everywhere I go including grocery shopping. When I was by myself. I would grab a cart, park it in the middle of the store, walk around with my stroller, pick up a few items and return to cart to drop all items in. This way I knew everyone was safe in the stroller.
You will find your way, faster than you know, I promise! I had a newborn and an 18-month-old at the same time. I would always think about who would be best to be contained and that was usually the 18-month-old. So, I would get my toddler strapped into the car first and then put the car seat in because my baby was already contained in the car seat carrier I used one of those car seats that comes out and you can carry it around). My toddler would also be the last one I got out of the car so I knew she was safe while I was getting the baby out and the baby would still be in the car seat carrier while I was unbuckling the toddler. As for outings, wearing the baby in a bjorn or something is so much easier and then you can put the toddler in an umbrella or other lightweight stroller. Then your hands are free for your or your toddler’s potty needs. You can also strap your toddler into the stroller while you change the baby’s diapers. Definitely take a stroller with you everywhere without a cart, at least a lightweight one. That way you can always contain your toddler and they have somewhere to rest. Just keep in mind that you will not be able to get a double stroller into boutiques but malls are a great place to go with both as is the children’s section of the some libraries (check out the children’s programs for your toddler). Also, for doctor’s appts. and such, be sure to bring “entertainment” for your toddler like books, toys, snacks, etc. to pass the waiting time. Hope that helps!