Comments on: Never (Ever!) Say This to a New Mom

By: gigiriv

gigiriv — Sat, 16 Feb 2013 02:30:35 +0000

Ok what really gets under my skin is when I’m trying to enjoy my baby and some mothers just have to point out the what’s to come. Like oh just wait untill they start talking back or they start throwing those tantrums. Not to mention the numerous pointless advice. Oh your starting to give your baby food wait untill they are going to go through a spitting phase. Thank you Mrs.Obvious .. Um I know they are going to get bigger can I just enjoy the moment please!?

By: Lana

Lana — Thu, 14 Feb 2013 23:16:53 +0000

I know how you feel. I struggled with infertility for 8 years. I’ve heard everything of the sort of “Relax and it will just happen”. I finally conceived thru IVF and everyone was telling me that as soon as the baby comes, I will never sleep ever again. As if I cared if I would ever sleep again. As if sleeping was easy when I couldn’t have a child…
I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you!! Second time might be the charm!

By: Ntc

Ntc — Wed, 13 Feb 2013 19:59:06 +0000

I’m a mom to an 8 month old baby and I say that to my friends who are pregnant or have just had their babies because I feel it is so true. Even though my little guy is still a baby I feel like the time where he was a tiny newborn just flew passed and every day I look at him he has grown just a little bit more and it makes me a little sad that soon I’ll be looking back and trying to remember him as he is today while he runs around, completely independent from me. The point of reminding moms about this is that its easy to get caught up in 2 hourly feeds, endless diaper changes, lack of sleep & miss the miracle that is our babies! I know so many moms who struggled through the first 6 months to a year and have admitted to only really enjoying their babies later on. Perhaps these are the moms that are taking offense to others saying this because I can’t see any other reason for getting so angry/upset over such a harmless, well meaning comment.

By: Kristi C.

Kristi C. — Tue, 12 Feb 2013 17:59:24 +0000

I totally agree with you!!

By: asander1000

asander1000 — Fri, 08 Feb 2013 01:56:21 +0000

No. You will never miss the temper tantrums. That was not fun. And telling someone that a temper tantrum should be cherished is off their rocker. Being a mom is the most challenging thing in the world BUT THE MOST REWARDING. We know that. It is insulting for a stranger to tell you “enjoy this MORE.” We DO. Just maybe at the moment that you see us dealing with a toddler melting down, we might might be basking in the glow of enjoyment.

Yes. Teenagers suck but that would not make me tell someone to BUCK UP and enjoy this NOW!!! I think we need to cut each other a break and not tell moms how to deal with their children at any point in the journey. I am sure everyone is doing the best that they can. No commentary required.

By: fran

fran — Fri, 08 Feb 2013 00:36:31 +0000

Wow, this blogger really needs to get over themselves…. wait tell the kids 16 and wanting nothing to do with you, you will miss those temper tantrums

By: LS

LS — Thu, 07 Feb 2013 17:47:59 +0000

Since I am dealing with the pain and struggle of infertility, I feel like I would accept all of those awful moments in my life if it meant that I would also be able to experience the love, joy, and triumph of raising a child. At this point in my life, I’d rather have a baby and have someone tell me to enjoy every moment, than to have people tell me things like “I think you just need to relax and let it happen” as I’m going into my second IVF cycle.

By: Megan

Megan — Thu, 07 Feb 2013 15:38:23 +0000

Things to “Never (Ever!) say to a new mom: The stories about people you know who had miscarriages. Shortly after I started telling people I was pregnant I was told countless stories about miscarriages, or some other fatal birth experiences “my daughter had,” or “my best friend’s sister” had. Really?! I don’t want to hear those things after discovering I’ll be having a baby. Say something encouraging!

By: asander1000

asander1000 — Wed, 06 Feb 2013 21:02:06 +0000

I think it’s a really insulting thing to say, personally. Just think of the multitude of things moms do on a daily basis with children. Then have a complete stranger perhaps look at you because you are exasperated and tell you that you aren’t “enjoying” a moment enough. One more thing we need to add to our Mommy list. ENJOY more. We all DO enjoy and savor plenty, thank you very much. We don’t need to be reminded that we aren’t doing it ENOUGH in a passive aggressive kind of way. But I guess it’s such a cliche now, that people don’t mean it in a bad way. They are just repeating themselves. Still, it’s a stupid thing to say. What is it about being pregnant and having a baby that makes your privacy go out the window and invites so many public comments?

By: Kathleen

Kathleen — Wed, 06 Feb 2013 16:21:06 +0000

Ha! This is exactly how I feel on a daily basis. It seems people saying those things to me generally didn’t have quite as many kids quite as close together as I do…having been through infertility, birth-of-child-with-special-needs, near-death, NICU, PICU and many other “show me how precious life truly is” moments, I do try very hard to live in the moment and enjoy the good times when they come, while breathing deeply through the many hard moments. But that comment brings no one anything but a desire to pull hair out!