Why I’m Terrified to Shop for a Maternity Wardrobe

Photo: Thinkstock / The Bump
Photo: Thinkstock / The Bump

I recently found myself at the Mall of America because of a work trip. I meandered with my coworker/friend and suggested I check out the maternity stores since I didn’t have to pay sales tax (woo hoo!).

I should mention that I have been putting off buying maternity clothes for several reasons: I’m in denial that I’m gaining weight, I’m scared, I pocketed some hand-me-downs from a girlfriend and oh, did I mention that I’m really, really scared about my changing shape?

So, I went into the maternity store anyway and was greeted with several over zealous saleswomen. While I’m not ginormous by any means,  I’m definitely a  fuller woman now. My size four pants are currently retired until further notice. The sales clerks told me I’m still small and I should fit comfortably in small pants — uh, no, I won’t.  But while I continued to peruse, my fitting room was filled to the top with an obscene amount of clothes. As if it can’t get any worse, Miss Perky Sales Lady asks me if I want to try on the “the bump“. You know, to gauge how I’ll look with the extra weight on my frame and to help factor what size I’ll truly be once I really pop.

Cue the panic. I started to sweat, the room began to close in and the scarf around my neck surely turned into a noose ready to hang me. But I skipped off to the fitting room regardless and to my horror, the bump was there. So, I did what any woman would do — I covered it with my coat. I started trying on the clothes laid out for me. One after the other, I put on the too-small sizes and was greeted, again, by an unfamiliar person in the mirror. Is that really me? I’m not having the easiest time dealing with my changing shape.

Rather than deal with getting bigger sizes, I panic and sweat some more while cursing  my new curves. I couldn’t have put my own clothes on any faster and run out of the room. I dragged my coworker, who was standing by to offer a second opinion, out of that clothing store so fast she must have thought I was crazy.

Now… I know I should be happy because gaining weight means healthy baby. However, after working my butt off for nearly a year and a half for my wedding just a few months ago it’s hard to not look in the mirror and wonder where  my hard work ran off to. Will I ever get used to this?

How did you deal with gaining weight during your pregnancy?

Plus, more from The Bump:

Tales from the Scale: The Obsession With Pregnancy Weight Gain

Pregnancy Diet: What to Eat When You’re Pregnant and Why

You’re Pregnant. Now What?