4 Things You Should Never Say to an Expectant Mom

Photo: Veer / The Bump
Photo: Veer / The Bump

Is there anything more stressful than those final few weeks leading up to your baby’s birth? Yes! Constantly fielding all those “did you have the baby yet?” queries!

When I was at the end of my pregnancies, it got to the point where I stopped answering the phone and email because I couldn’t take it anymore. Not even the calls from my mother, mother-in-law, and friends who were “just calling to see how you’re doing.” (Translation: Did you have that baby yet?!) I was tempted to joke, “Oh, yeah, thanks for the reminder. We actually DID have the baby a couple weeks ago. I can’t believe I forgot to tell you!”

If you’re having a scheduled C-section, that’s one thing. But for the rest of us, the baby will come when the baby darn well wants to come, OK?

With that in mind, here are four things NOT to say to an expectant mom:

1. Do not ask for her input on your travel plans. I actually had people say to me, “So I’m coming to town for a conference on such-and-such date. Do you think you’ll have had the baby by then?” Hmm, let me check the baby’s Google calendar and get back to you, ‘kay?

2. Do not share your predictions for when the baby will be born. Maybe you think playing psychic is all in good fun, but I was crushed when a prenatal massage therapist predicted that my baby would be born 10 days late. It turned out she was right, but that’s not what I wanted to hear days before my due date!

3. Do not share your techniques for jump-starting labor. Unless the mom-to-be asks, she really doesn’t want to hear your recipe for a foolproof Eggplant Parmigiana that’s sure to guarantee the baby’s birth at a time that’s convenient for you.

4. Do not make her swear to notify you the minute the baby’s born. That’s placing undue obligation on someone who will probably have other things on her mind than immediately calling/texting/emailing everyone she knows the instant the cord is cut. Check the new dad’s Facebook status or stalk one of the grandparents by phone instead.

And finally, remember that you are not the only one who’s eager to greet this new little person. The parents-to-be are excited that you’re excited, but calm the heck down and give them some space, will ya? You’ll be the first to know when the baby’s finally born. Or at least the 6th or 12th person, promise.

How and when did you share the news that your baby had arrived?

Plus, more from The Bump:

Worst Things to Say to a Pregnant Woman

“Stop Touching My Belly!”

10 Things You Must Do Before Delivery