NYC’s First Lady’s Startling Mom Confession — Can You Relate?

Photo: NY Daily News
Photo: NY Daily News

You hate to admit it. The guilt is incessant. But sometimes, you don’t want to be a mom. If there are days when you secretly want your old life back — if only for a second — you now have something in common with Chirlane McCray.

The wife of New York City mayor Bill de Blasio has been the talk of the town since her feature in New York Magazine, in which she admitted that, at first, motherhood was just not for her:

“I was 40 years old. I had a life. Especially with Chiara—will we feel guilt forever more? Of course, yes. But the truth is, I could not spend every day with her. I didn’t want to do that. I looked for all kinds of reason not to do it. I love her. I have thousands of photos of her—every 1-month birthday, 2-month birthday. But I’ve been working since I was 14, and that part of me is me. It took a long time for me to get into ‘I’m taking care of kids,’ and what that means.”

The New York Post took that and ran with it, publishing “I Was a Bad Mom” next to McCray’s face on their cover. As expected, Mayor de Blasio demanded an apology. But more unexpectedly, an army of moms jumped to McCray’s defense. There was an outpouring of support on Twitter with the hashtag “stand with Chirlane,” in which users applauded her honesty.

Moral of the story: it’s okay to talk about the lows of parenting. We know it’s not all rainbows and butterflies. We have to wonder, though, if McCray knew what she was doing when she made her comment. A former speech writer from the world of PR, McCray knows a thing or two about good and bad press. Did she know that her honesty, buried deep within the New York Magazine article, would allow guilt-ridden mothers everywhere to breathe a sigh of relief? Consider it a belated Mother’s Day gift.

Plus, more from The Bump:

Top 6 Things Moms Wish Dads Knew

The Truth About Being a Working Mom

Back-to-work Guide for New Moms