After months of trying to conceive, time spent with your partner can be lacking romance and losing its spark. Spontaneity is likely to be on the decline and replaced by calculated times of “intimacy.” Not being able to complete the task of becoming pregnant can be frustrating and draining for the both of you. That’s exactly why it’s important to keep the health of your relationship a priority. Take time to nurture your family’s foundation and work on being a fun, safe, and comforting partner for your spouse.

Here are a few ideas:

1. Keep dating each other. You are together for a reason – you fell in love and enjoy each other’s company. So prove it! Don’t stop dating now that you are married or your schedule is busier. Maybe it’s the stress of trying to conceive that is wearing on you? While TTC your mind is likely focused on the many reasons you want to be entering parenthood, but in the meantime force yourselves to find reasons why you can love the season you are in and take time to enjoy it.

2. Build safety. Take time to be open with your partner about the frustrations of TTC. Create a safe place for you to share with each other. Be mindful that everyone deals with stress in unique ways and understand that your partner may deal with TTC in a different way than you are. Also, it might be beneficial to share with family, friends, or a licensed counselor if the burden of TTC feels too heavy for you both to carry alone.

3. Be spontaneous. If you have been TTC for at least a few months, it’s likely your calendar has become a rigid schedule of ovulation dates and temperature charting. It pretty much goes without saying that regular scheduling of your intimate time together isn’t exactly sexy. So, take a break! Maybe it’s a month of not charting at all (gasp!). You might feel like you are losing time and wasting a month, but your marriage is worth it.

4. Before midnight feedings and teething there were romantic dinners and movie dates. When your family of two grows into a family of three or more, it will still have the two of you as a foundation. Through this potentially rough season for your relationship, keep your foundation strong.

How have you kept your relationship a top priority?

Plus, more from The Bump:

11 Things to Avoid When Trying to Conceive

The Biggest Trying to Conceive Turn-Offs

Secrets to Getting Through Trying to Conceive

If you personally do not have experience with a complicated pregnancy or difficulty trying to conceive, talking to someone dealing with those issues can be intimidating. While I believe it’s 100% okay to share your life and experience, you may want to consider being sensitive to the struggles of others.

Here are a few dos and don’ts when it comes to potentially uncomfortable conversations:

Don’t avoid sharing your experience. If you are currently pregnant and have a friend who is TTC (trying to conceive), don’t avoid sharing your excitement and fears. The last thing someone who is TTC wants to feel is isolated from friends who are moms or soon-to-be moms.

Do consider the feelings of others. While it may be appropriate to share your experience with friends who are TTC, consider your tone when talking about pregnancy symptoms. Believe it or not, but someone who is TTC, very well may desire to experience morning sickness, gaining baby weight, and kicks in the ribs. Besides, you’ll have a happier pregnancy if you can laugh through these moments instead of complaining.

Don’t avoid the conversations. It’s likely your friend who is TTC really dislikes feeling isolated. If there’s an elephant in the room in the form of your pregnant belly, don’t avoid talking about it. Just don’t make it the only thing you talk about.

Do say “I’m sorry that you are going through this.” Feeling compassion for others is a part of life. Whether you are pregnant, already a mom, or not even thinking about having kids, don’t be afraid to express your sympathies.

And lastly…

Do ask questions about her life and really listen. On average, a person listens for 7 seconds during a conversation before interjecting. Give your friend more than 7 seconds. Make sure to dedicate some of the conversation to how she is doing without automatically relating it to your life.

What should you say to your TTC friends?

Plus, more from The Bump:

The Worst Things to Say to Someone Who Is TTC

Top Five Worst Things to Say to a Pregnant Woman

The Worst Things to Say to Moms of Preemies

I’m a firm believer in sharing your story with others. For my husband and I, it has been the recent struggle of trying to conceive (TTC) for a year and a half. Now I’m nine months pregnant and anxiously waiting the day I get to meet my little girl. But I don’t want to forget what those 18 months felt like and how that is a part of my story.

Here are a few things I considered before sharing my experience with TTC:

Why share your story – I believe that connecting with others is a wonderful and powerful part of life. Being vulnerable with others is how we connect and deepen our appreciation of life and of each other. For myself, I chose to “go public” with our story of struggling with conception after my husband and I became pregnant. Because I openly shared, friends and acquaintances shared personal stories with me and I learned that story wasn’t a lonely one.

Who to share your story with – Maybe you don’t feel comfortable with your personal business going “Facebook live.” Think through who you are comfortable sharing your story with. I advise discussing it over with your partner before either of you decide to share it with anyone. You might decide to limit telling a few close friends and family, or decide that you want to be a mouthpiece for TTC and open the discussion within your circle and social network.

How to share your story – Maybe you’re a writer, like myself, and blogging is the natural way to share. But maybe you’re not. Share your story in the way you feel most comfortable. If you are best communicating face-to-face, share with those as it comes up in conversation. Are you gifted in arts or photography? However you are skilled, consider using it to tell your story.

My hope is that if you are TTC and haven’t shared your feelings with anyone yet, this article would encourage you to share with those family and friends who you find appropriate. One thing about struggling with TTC is you are not nearly as alone as it feels and you shouldn’t feel ashamed or embarrassed by your struggle.

If you struggled or are currently struggling with TTC, how are you sharing your story?

Live for today. If I could go back and give myself advice two years ago, that would be it. It took my husband and me about a year and a half to conceive. After a few months of “let’s just see what happens,” the reality that this would take longer than we anticipated set in.

Every day was equated to how many days until I could take a pregnancy test, how many days until my next cycle, how many days it’d been since we’d started trying, how many days pregnant I would be if it happened the first month.

After a while, I wanted nothing more than to float through my schedule until a day I would find out news.

Here are a few things that helped me though each grueling two-week wait:

Have an active state of mind. When your life turns into a perpetual countdown, it’s tempting to set yourself on cruise control and coast through until the next milestone. I’d recommend discovering something that makes you happy, inspired, and encouraged and finding time to enjoy it each week. Personally, I started an online craft shop that allowed me to have a creative outlet. Fill your week with events and activities that fulfill you, instead of just passing time.

Learn to be thankful. You’ve heard this before, and even though it has become cliché it doesn’t make it any less true — you have plenty to be thankful for! The temptation to focus on what we don’t have enough of – money, time, etc. – can easily take over during this draining time of TTC. Take an active role in battling this stress by reminding yourself of what you’re thankful for.

Love the season you’re in. Take time to enjoy life exactly where you are. Maybe it’s a work schedule that’s ideal. Maybe it’s a specific time of the year. Maybe all of your family is living in one state. Whatever it is, celebrate this season of your life!

What has helped you get through your two-week wait while TTC?