I know a lot of dads that feel nervous, anxious about holding, feeding and bonding with baby during those first few months together. I was one of those dads, too. I wanted to make sure I did everything right, but to be honest, it was terrifying. Spending that special time with one another, though, is so important and you’ll be so glad you did it. So before (and after!) baby makes his debut, here are a few ways you can get comfortable with your little guy:

1. Get talking! While the baby is still in the womb, start talking to him or her. Whenever you have the chance, talk to the baby because it is the sound of your voice, more so than what you are saying, that is important.

2. Fake it ’til you make it… literally. Before baby comes, practice holding an infant. Maybe it’s your niece or nephew or maybe you’re just holding a sack of blankets in your arms. Get comfortable with it! And when baby does finally arrive, hold him a lot. Any chance you have to hold the baby, take it. If mom is done breastfeeding, if the baby is waking up in the middle of the night, if you just came home from work, take your baby in your arms. It’s your time together.  The more time you spend wrapped up in each other, the more baby will learn your hold a and feel your confidence.

3. Ask to change baby’s diaper. Seriously, dads — ask! It may not be the most pleasant smelling experience, but it’s another opportunity to spend time with baby.

4. Pay attention and you’ll be surprised how quickly baby pays attention to you! Your child will watch you and learn from you from the day they are born to the end of their lives, so just imagine that you are the star of your own reality TV show, and everything you do is being broadcast in high definition to your new baby. Pretty cool, huh? Some of my favorite moments with my children came between the ages of 18 months and 3 years!

5. Laugh together. I cannot even begin to tell you how much fun this is. Finally, someone to laugh at every joke you make regardless of whether or not it’s actually funny! It’s one of the most magical parenting experiences to hear your baby laugh for the very first time.

The bottom line is: get engaged with your children and babies from day one. There’s plenty to do! Enjoy every phase, moment and experience. You’ll be so glad you did!

How did your partner bond with baby?

Plus, more from The Bump:

Secret Thoughts of a Newbie Dad

Best Dad and Baby Photos Ever

10 Things All New Dads Should Know

There are some parents who do not believe in traveling with small children because they think that they won’t remember the trip, or maybe there’s too much to pack, or sleeping with a baby in tow might be difficult — or maybe they’re worried it’s too expensive. But then there are the other parents, like me, who love to travel with their children.

I think that these trips we take together help to build life long foundations with deep emotional roots and memories. My wife and I have traveled often with our kids, from inexpensive road trips, driving up the coast and staying in small motels or camping, to flying across the ocean to Hawaii, and we’re happy to say that every trip has been wonderful – in one way or another.  We’re raising our three-year-old, two-year-old, and 4-month -old to be great travelers.

Treat your trips as though the journey together is more important than the final destination. Teach them that the experience of going somewhere together matters just as much as the actual destination or vacation. Riding on a shuttle bus, an airport transport train, an airplane, a boat, or even just walking through large crowds and experiencing all the different sights, sounds, and types of people in the world matter so much to a child. Being there to experience with them? It’s priceless.

When we travel with our kids, we start talking about it and planning for it weeks in advance. We collect special books and toys and we discuss the things we’ll do. I think it is important to help set expectations and then review them once they actually happen. So we talk about going to the beach and the pool and about how we are going to fly there in an airplane; we discuss what things we need to pack and what items are important to bring with us. If we are flying and we pass a pilot walking through the airport we point him or her out and talk about their job and duties with our children; we do the same with TSA officers, airplane workers, and others.

Traveling with young children can definitely be hard at times — but you have to remember that you’re not going on an adult trip or vacation; there may not be any cocktails by the pool, but it’s going to be great nonetheless. It is a time to truly help grow and build your family bonds and in the end create a lifetime of travel and memories.

How do you prep for your family vacations?

Plus, more from The Bump:

Tips for Traveling With Baby

Baby Travel Checklist: What to Pack

Baby’s First Trip!

One of the hardest challenges I face every day is the addictive desire to check my phone while I am with my kids. It seems I’m not alone, though. I see parents at the park, in the grocery store and at the library reaching for their phones.

I am talking about texting, emailing, and even making phone calls. I am horribly guilty of this; I see other people look at their phone, and I instinctively get a craving to check my own. It’s seems we’re all addicted: when the kids watch TV, parents watch their phones; when the kids play at the park, parents play on their phones.

The question we all have to ask ourselves is: how will this new technology and cell-phone reliance affect our children now and in the future? How will our actions today reflect on our kids in the future? Would you want your kids checking their phone, texting, updating social media, etc. while you are talking to them? Will we all be sitting at our dining room tables’ texting instead of talking in the years to come?

I believe we all likely need to nip this habit in the bud and start focusing in on what’s really important — our kids. Instead of playing on our phones while our kids play at the park we should be fully engaged and playing together: in the dirt, on the play sets – learning together and bonding together.

But I’ll be the first to admit this is difficult to do. I sometimes have to force myself to put my phone down and leave it on my dresser when I know it is time for me to give my kids my undivided attention. I know that if I want my kids to be engaged with me when they are older teens, and young adults, I must be engaged with them now.

Bottom line: the phone is not always your friend, and you don’t always need to respond to texts and emails as quickly as they come in; people can wait.

Do you think it’s hard to “unplug”?

Plus, more from The Bump:

What Baby’s Playing With That Isn’t Safe

How Can I Entertain My Baby?

The Great Gadget Debate: Is Your iPad Hurting Your Toddler’s Development?

After 50 years of life and 7 babies, I now feel confident that I know what I need to do to help my wife when the baby is crying in the middle of the night.  It’s a big daddy secret, but I’m willing to share.

This daddy secret is one that will help when your baby or toddler cries in the middle of the night. Maybe he’s hungry, needs a diaper change, a hug, a glass of water, or a quick “monster check.” No matter the case, remember my big daddy secret for success (because you’re going to need it!).

So, dads, when your crying baby awakes you in the middle of the night while you’re cocooned so comfortably and tucked in warm blankets, floating on a soft bed with a comfortable pillow perfectly cradling your head, what do you do?

Most new parents will slowly – very slowly — look over at the other to see if baby has awoken them, too. This is the moment of truth, or rather, the moment of unconditional love. It is not a scorecard;  not the time to “fake out” your spouse and pretend to stay asleep asleep. It is time to be the daddy that you are — the daddy you imagined you’d be while waiting for baby for 9 months.  I am sure you have heard the phrase, “any man can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a daddy”.  Well, now’s your chance.

So, here’s my big daddy secret, (maybe even guaranteed to improve the sanctity of your marriage and sex life!): Act without hesitation. Don’t even take a moment to consider your options. Just. Do. By acting on impulse, say hellooooo to free brownie points (your wife will love it!).

Dad, this is your moment. Do not lay in bed moaning and groaning, (and whatever you do, DO NOT! pretend to sleep). Get out of bed before your wife does and go get the baby! It’ll make all the difference in the world, trust me.

I can only tell you this from experience.  It took me until baby number seven to truly learn the benefits of waking in the middle of the night and bounding to the rescue of my kids. And I’ve been reaping the benefits ever since!

Moms, whats one thing your partner does to help you out?

Plus, more from The Bump:

The Most Terrifying Talk You Need to Have Before Baby Arrives

Top 10 New Dad Fears (and Why You Shouldn’t Worry)

Secret Thoughts of Newbie Dads

Last night, the realization totally hit me: spending time with my kids reinforces and reminds me of my own important life values.

I got home from work last night and my sons were on the floor playing with their Legos and trying to build towers.  I jumped right down there with them on the floor and started discussing what they were doing and handing them Lego pieces.  My son, Lincoln, who is 3 years old, is quicker with his building, but my son, Carter,  age 2, is more thoughtful.

And then it happened — without any more consideration than just playing together, this dad and son moment became bigger than I ever imagined.

I am not sure how many of you watch Agent Ozo on Disney, but the gist of each story is that Agent Ozo must complete a task with his secret agents while at the same time being called out to a mission to help a child in need. While helping the child, he realizes how the helpful message he gives the child will also help him solve his challenge with the secret agents.

While sitting there with my boys I said, “Now remember, the taller and greater the tower, the more fragile it becomes; the base or foundation must be large enough to support the growth or else each time it will tumble.” I instantly thought of my work, my business, my family life and it made me realize that we often teach our children with the most simplest of tools and moments; while building Legos, we are in fact teaching important concepts and values that will last a lifetime.

There are so many more messages that could apply to the Lego building last night:  “Never give up”, “Try, Try Again”, “Learn to Share”, “Compliment Others on Their Work”, “With Thought and Focus – You can always go ONE block higher”. The teachable moments were endless.

I woke up this morning, gave my wife a huge good morning kiss, made pancakes for my boys, and went to work fired up and ready to tackle another day.

How do you handle all the teachable moments that come with parenting?

Plus, more from The Bump:

The Best Advice for All Dads-to-Be

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“Holy Crap — I’m a Dad!”

Dads, it’s true – having a plethora of information and knowledge will help pave the way to your successful role as a daddy! And these days, it’s easy as there are ample resources available to help mommies and daddies-to-be understand what to expect along the road ahead.

There were three resources I used to prepare for my role as a dad and trust me, I’m so glad I did. Want to know how you can get ready for baby’s arrival?

1. Study the Books — Hard!

As an expectant daddy, it’s hard to feel like you play a big role in baby’s life — after all, your wife is growing your baby inside of her, and you have just been doing your part, doing exactly as you’re told. But you can read up! Buy a book that helps you understand exactly what changes are taking place in your wife’s body (both physically and emotionally!). Sometimes it’s easier to understand just the facts. And, there are so many books available that have been written specifically for dads-to-be! 9 months will fly by like the blink of an eye, and you want to be as prepared as possible.

2. Take the Classes (and Learn to Like Them!)

If you’re into the second trimester of your wife’s pregnancy (or planning ahead), try taking birth and newborn education programs. If you’re expecting your first, then the educational classes will help you realize you are not alone — other soon-to-be dads will be there, too! And if you have friends who are expecting, it might be a fun thing to do together. And don’t dread the class, either. If you go into it open minded, the class can be fun, entertaining and most importantly, informative. My wife and I took an all day seminar together.  The class is entertaining, informative, and actually fun! I

3. Research (All!) the Details

Take a visit to the hospital you and your wife have chosen to have the baby in — it’s worth it, I swear. We just had our third baby and even though I’d been through this two other times, I still had trouble remembering all the hallways and doorways to get to Labor and Delivery. The last thing you could ever want is to be late for baby’s arrival! So, look into a hospital or birthing center tour. Maybe even meet the nurses. Once your wife is in labor and you’re headed to the hospital, you’ll be glad you took that birthing center tour after all.

How did you prepare for baby’s arrival?

Plus, more from The Bump:

The Most Terrifying Talk You Need to Have Before Baby Arrives

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Have you talked about the what if’s yet? Chances are, you haven’t. And with baby on the way, now is the most important time to consider what you’ll do in case the worst ever happens.

So if you’re considering life insurance, or already have a policy, here are the top three reasons you need to make this discussion a priority with your partner. Planning for the future has never been so important.

1. Do we really need life insurance?

Let’s face it, insurance is a big deal. While it might feel like you’re giving money to a cause you might never need, it’s important to remember why you have life insurance in the first place: just in case the worst should happen. Think of the happiness and security you can bring to your family after you pass away (should that happen) with a good solid life insurance policy. Address the issue seriously and with commitment.

2. What type of policy should we look into?

There are many types of life insurance policies, so it’s important to know what you’re getting before you agree to anything. The easiest and least expensive policy you’ll encounter will be for your baby; we spend around $80 a year on a policy for our children.  For the new mommy and daddy it might get a bit more complicated. In my household we chose a combination of term, whole, and mortgage insurance.  If you are strapped for cash or running into trouble holding onto money each month, small term policies are available that will help cover the funeral expenses should either of you pass away unexpectedly – it’s better than nothing!

3. If we get insurance, what else do we need?

Once you’ve discussed and agreed on a life insurance policy, it’ll probably be time to take a look at your health insurance policy to make certain all the hospital expenses you’re about to incur will be covered and that you have notified the insurance carrier of the new baby’s arrival. Take the time to review your auto insurance prior to bringing your new baby home; it’s very important to make sure you have all of the protection you and your growing family will need.

Though it seems scary, you will survive, and you will love every minute of it – trust me. All this preparation is just in case. And while it might not feel good to prep for the worst, later in life you’ll be glad that you did. I have yet to meet a man in his 80’s who regrets the time and money he spent or worked for to care for his family!

What other tough discussions did you and your partner have before baby?

Plus, more from The Bump:

Do We Need Life Insurance Before Baby?

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Your Guide to Taking Care of Finances Before Getting Pregnant

When it comes to baby, you need to be prepared to have the unavoidable discussion surrounding finances. I call it Financial Nesting, and it can be a difficult conversation to have.

For dads, you’re likely already stressed trying to figure out how to pay for baby furniture, clothes and the never-ending list of baby accessories like: strollers, high chairs, bottles, bath gear, and the like. You’re probably also concerned about your disappearing space and the possibility that you don’t even have an extra room to turn into a nursery. But here are three reasons you must have the money-talk before baby arrives:

1. It’s About the Long Term

Think: college tuition. Cars. Trips. Childcare. Preschool.  I know that you’ll have 18 years to work towards your unborn child’s college savings account — but 18 years comes pretty quick! And it’s important that you and your expectant wife have the conversation NOW. Stop dancing around the subject and talk it through.

2. You Need to Think About the Unexpected

Your wife might take you through each and EVERY possible event and  consequence within the next 50 years, so just be prepared to start talking about lots of interesting scenarios. For example, my wife began asking me questions like: “What happens if I die?”; “What happens if you die?”; “What if we both die at the same time?”; “What if you die and then I die three days later?” Even though they’re things that may not ever happen — you still need to be prepared.

3. You Need to Have a Plan

Remember your birth plan? Well now, you need a baby plan. If you don’t, then now is the time to get something started — even if it is depositing $50 dollars a month into a savings account. Create a Living Will and decide who will help raise your children should you, or your wife, or both of you get knocked out of the game while you are still young.  It will be more helpful than you think, because it will force you to dig into the nitty gritty of child rearing — who (if something should happen to you and your wife) will raise your child to be the person you imagine they’ll be? Who will teach them the morals and values you want to bestow on them? You need to think about all the friends and family members who would make worthwhile guardians for your children.

Along with a Living Will, you should consider establishing a Federal 529 education savings plan.  These are great because you can start them with a small amount of money, and along the way, grandparents, friends or employers can donate money to the fund.  You never know — it could grow as quickly as baby does!

Remember, the two of you will not always agree on the finances, but it’s important to keep the conversation moving none-the-less.

Plus, more from The Bump:

Are You (Really) Ready for a Baby?

Should We Have a Financial Prep Checklist?

How to Save $5,000 in Baby’s First Year

It’ll happen suddenly: her pants will no longer button.  This is a bittersweet day for your lovely wife.  She is thrilled that your baby is growing inside her, but sad that her perfectly-fitting Saturday night jeans will be out of commission for 6-8 months time. When this happens,  it’s time to buy some maternity clothes. Now, I know some pregnant women just buy several inexpensive oversized outfits, and they can generally make due with those for a while, but eventually, regardless of who they are, they’ll need to buy maternity clothes.

Now you’re probably wondering how you, the expectant daddy, play a role in your wife’s maternity wardrobe? And I’m here to help! Here are the top 5 tips all daddy-to-be’s need when it’s time for maternity clothes:

1. Be Bump Proud

When your wife begins noticing her growing bump, first and foremost: be her rock and embrace the moment with her.  Tell her seeing the bump makes you love her just that much more and that she’s never looked more beautiful – and be sincere.  Ask her to show it off by wearing something more form fitting and letting the bump push out under the clothes.

2. Be Mindful That Wearing Maternity Clothes and Carrying Around a Baby Is Something You’ll Never Have to Do!

Be accepting. After all, your wife is growing your new baby inside her.  And since this is something that you cannot  (and will not have to) do yourself,  you need to be 150% supportive of the process.

3. Shop With Her

When your wife is ready to go shopping for maternity clothes, offer to go along with her. Speaking from experience, you might as well get used to it, because over the next 6-8 months you are going to be doing a lot of shopping – not just for maternity clothes, but also for baby clothes, baby furniture, toys, and other miscellaneous items.

4. Turn a Blind Eye When It Comes to the Bill

I’m telling you now, maternity clothes are expensive, so don’t get sticker shock or become upset in the checkout line. Think of it as an investment. Sure, she will only be wearing them for 6 months now, but maybe you’ll have more children in which case your wife will be able to get lots of wear out of the clothes.  There are also some great “worn-once” type stores that have designer names and labels and very high quality clothes for a fraction of the original cost, and those can be great resources.  As well, you may know some other friends or family members who have already gone through the process and may have some maternity clothes they’d like to share. Be creative and have fun shopping for maternity wear.

5. Buy Her Something She’ll Look (and Feel) Good Wearing

If you really want to score brownie points, here is my suggestion to you: once your wife makes the decision to start wearing maternity clothes, pick out one or two outfits for her. Wrap them up nicely and give them her to that night. She will certainly appreciate the thoughtful gesture, and it just might make wearing those maternity clothes a little more enjoyable for her.

Got any tips to add?

Plus, more from The Bump:

From Bump to Baby — All You Need to Know About Maternity Wear

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It is time for the first doctor appointment. As an expectant daddy, it’s important for you to attend as many of the doctor appointments as possible to be supportive to your wife.

So, be prepared to walk into a waiting room with women in all phases of their pregnancies — from their first trimester to a woman days away from her due date. Smile, dads, and wipe the shock off of your face. This is what pregnancy looks like. This is a preview of what’s to come. Here’s a tip from a fellow dad who’s lived through it: women nearing the end of their pregnancies are usually quite uncomfortable, and seem to be always waiting for their next chance to pee or eat.

The reason you need to keep your facial expressions to a minimum? Expectant mothers are very sensitive, and will scrutinize the look on your face. I suggest practicing your calm, comfortable, friendly smile in front of the mirror prior to this appointment. Seriously.  If I can tell you two things about the doctor’s office it’s to ALWAYS give up your seat to the pregnant woman with swollen feet, and to ALWAYS go pee prior to going to the doctor’s office, or else hold it.  On a few occasions I have used the bathroom at the doctor’s office, and you do not want to be on the receiving end of the glare from the pregnant woman who’s waiting to use the restroom after you… just trust me on this one.

The first visit to the doctor’s office can also be shocking for your wife. If you’re shocked by the size of all the women in the waiting room, imagine how your wife feels. Help her find a comfortable seat and sign in for both of you. If there are extra seats go ahead and sit down, but when another pregnant woman walks through the door and has nowhere to sit – give up your seat.

The nervousness of expecting our first child really set in for me in the waiting room at my first doctor’s visit, while I was tagging along with my wife. I thumbed through the brochures and pamphlets about what mom and baby will go through in these nine months they spend together. Chances are your wife is also feeling a bit of anxiety over the future, too. She will likely be thinking, Can I actually have this baby? Will she look like that woman over there? Will the baby be healthy? Will I be healthy?  What are all of these tests that they are going to do?  Why do they need to do them?

My advice to every daddy-to-be is to simply grab her hand, give it a squeeze, and make the eye contact that says,  “everything will be OK” – even if you are completely scared yourself.

And lastly, dads, be prepared to sit and wait. Even if you’re tired, even if you’re late for another appointment or late to work, or even if the doctor’s office is running behind schedule. Just wait.

What was your experience like in the doctor’s office for the first pregnancy?

Plus, more from The Bump:

Secret Thoughts of a Newbie Dad

“Holy Crap — I’m a Dad!”

Top 10 New Dad Fears (and Why You Shouldn’t Worry!)