You know what never gets old? Being accosted by a complete stranger in the grocery store as you’re trying to wheel your cart down the international foods aisle without the baby grabbing and smashing an expensive jar of kalamata olives on the floor.

“Ohhhh, just look at that little face!” these people squeal. “Enjoy every minute, because they grow up before you know it!”

OK, I’m lying. This gets very old, very fast. As does the advice — no, demand — to focus on the present, be in the moment and appreciate the little things, because it all goes so fast. People especially love to say this to new moms.

I know they mean well, but I always wanted to tell these people, “Look, I get that your baby grew up overnight and is now graduating college and you’re all sentimental about it, but mine is still an actual baby who gets up multiple times a night and demands attention and nourishment and diaper changes around the clock. So you’ll excuse me if I don’t agree with you that this time is as fleeting and precious as a rainbow.” Depending on how much sleep and coffee I’d had, I also may have had the urge to ram their shins with my grocery cart.

And let’s talk about this “enjoy every moment” thing for a minute. When people say that, I imagine they are picturing a baby taking his first steps, laughing in delight as a butterfly lands on his nose in a meadow of wildflowers, or maybe they’re referring to watching your little angel sleep peacefully in her crib. Well, who wouldn’t enjoy those moments?!

But what about the moments when you’re waiting in line at the pharmacy and your toddler is grabbing every single pack of gum off the rack and rummaging in the trashcan that’s probably filled with used hypodermic needles? What about when you’re on a plane and your baby is releasing noxious fumes into his diaper and the surrounding airspace? What about when you take your child to get a haircut and he throws a complete hissy fit that results in unfortunate bangs and a hair-covered lollipop? Anyone lining up to savor those moments? Anyone?!

What many people fail to understand (or remember) is that when you have a small child, there are many, many moments in the day, especially if they get up before dawn and boycott naps like my kids. Even the Dalai Lama himself could not be fully present and at peace for that many moments in a row.

These are the moments you’ll find me enjoying: when I come downstairs wearing earrings and a clean T-shirt for once and my toddler son says, “You look pretty, Mommy!” That puddle on the floor? That’s my heart melting. Or even moments like the morning when we were brushing our teeth and he looked in the mirror and said, “We all have eyebrows.” He is like a tiny Zen Buddhist, full of awareness and wisdom.

My advice for those grocery-store philosophers? Approach a mom with a small child cautiously, as you would a bear in the wild. If you must, you may squeal, “Ohhhh, just look at that little face!” But after that, keep moving.

Unless you want to have a moment you might not enjoy so much.

How do you deal with people telling you to “savor every moment?”

Plus, more from The Bump:

“Back Off, Grandma!”

Before I Had Babies, I Never Appreciated…

Biggest New Mom Surprises, and How to Deal

A baby’s first year is very special and you want to capture every moment, both big and small. This week, Lori shows you how to make a memory box to keep track of baby’s milestones  This quick and easy project also doubles as a nice decorative element to your child’s nursery.

How do you hold?

Plus more from The Bump:

Easy (And Fun!) Art Projects for Babies

Toddler Craft Ideas (That Won’t Stress You Out)

Baby Nursery Ideas and Decor

Have you ever been concerned your child wasn’t developing on track?

The answer to that question is probably yes. As a mother and a speech pathologist — almost every parent I’ve talked with has worried, at some point, that their child might not be within the normal range for some development milestone.

As a first time mom and a medical professional, I was extremely nervous for my son to reach each developmental milestone. There were some he hit right on time, some he hit early, and some he hit later than I expected. Each time he was even just a smidgen behind, I would practically panic over it, wondering what I could do to help him get to the next step. I would constantly provide activities and input I believed would be helpful to him. I consulted other therapist friends to get their opinions on his motor and speech development. I watched children who were ‘ahead’ of the curve interact with their parents, so I could change and modify our interactions to be more like theirs.

One day, while we were “playing,” I was very therapist-like, directing our play, and I realized that it just wasn’t fun.  I had a great activity planned, but he just wasn’t feeling it, and I was forcing it. Neither my son nor I were actually having a good time, it was more me trying to push him to attain some silly goal.

So, I relaxed.

Part of the process, for me, has been distancing myself and my child from my career. I know how to provide him the proper input to learn. What I needed to discover was how to give him the time and space to do it on his own terms. Instead of comparing him to friends’ children who excelled or developmentally delayed children at our outpatient therapy clinic, I needed to only compare him to himself.

After having my son, I’ve realized that each child, whether way ahead of the milestones — or with developmental delays — are learning, growing, and doing things on their own timeline.  Sure, in some cases, a little (or a lot of) outside or early intervention can be very beneficial, but the majority of children will learn those skills you’re so panicked about on their own timeline. And by accepting our children for who they are, and learning to love how (and at what pace) they grow, we will all benefit — the parents and the children.

By sitting back for a little while and actually just observing how my son progressed and acquired new skills, I began to understand who he is. Instead of pushing to get him to the next stage  in my own way, I now know how to help him to achieve those goals himself.

And in doing that — as a parent — I’ve begun to meet some of my own goals.

Looks like Tori Spelling’s 7-month-old daughter Hattie Margaret is a daddy’s girl — her first word was “Dada.” Tori wrote on her website that she was happy about the milestone, but also a little disappointed that it wasn’t “Mama.” She said, “I’m sure that mamas everywhere can agree that I wouldn’t be human if somewhere inside, beneath the beaming pride I felt about her accomplishment, there wasn’t a little sadness that her first word wasn’t, “Mama.”

Tori’s son, Liam’s first word was “Dada,” but her other daughter Stella’s was “Mama.” Tori wrote that Hattie was the tie-breaker: “For seven months, she’s been our little neutral party. Or so I thought! Were she and Dean secretly plotting this all along?” The mom of three (with another one on the way) said that she’s working on getting Hattie to say “Mama.”

Tori, don’t worry! Maybe the score will even out with your next baby.

What was your baby’s first word? Would you be upset if your baby said “Dada” first?

Plus, more from The Bump:

Baby Milestones: What Will Do When

How to Help Baby Learn to Speak

Why is Conversation Good for My Baby?