When there’s something that you’re looking forward to and desire, you just naturally think about it. You can’t help it. Pregnancy is no exception. For me at least, when you’re trying to get pregnant, it’s on your mind all.the.time. It’s like hoping that Christmas will be coming, but not being certain exactly when it will be here. For close to the last three years (except when I’ve been pregnant), I’ve taken my basal body temperature to determine where I am in my menstrual cycle. I’ve already gushed about how much I love having that information — from a purely practical stand point.

While charting gives a woman the information that she need to be smart about trying to conceive, it also gives her information on how to obsess about pregnancy. Because, let’s be honest: just about every woman who is trying to get pregnant is going to obsess (to some degree) about the process! Today, I’ll introduce you to Conceiving Connie, who is hoping to get pregnant.

Early in her cycle

Conceiving Connie thinks: “I didn’t get pregnant last month. I guess I won’t have a June baby, after all. That’s too bad as my nephew was also born in June and maybe they could have shared a birthday. But I think a July baby would be great!”

Conceiving Connie does: She’ll go through a minor grieving process, coming to terms that she won’t be having a baby in the next nine months. She adds in Ovulation Predictor Kit (OPKs) this cycle, just to ensure timing is right.

Getting closer to ovulation

Conceiving Connie thinks: “Okay, we’re getting close. On this OPK, does this line look darker than the control line? It’s darker than yesterday, but is it dark enough? Is this temperature high enough to indicate a spike?  I just felt a twinge on my left side. Could that have been an egg that just released, like, five seconds ago?”

Conceiving Connie does: Starts using OPKs.  Makes sure she and Conceiving Charlie are having sex every other day.  Gets real vigilant on taking her temperature every day.

Confirming ovulation

Conceiving Connie thinks: “Oh, that was enough of a temperature spike. Ovulation confirmed! Here we go!”

Conceiving Connie does: Looks up her estimated due date to see when the baby would be due if she was pregnant. Looks and her (and Conceiving Charlie’s) timing to see if it was good. Rests in the fact that what’s done is done and she can’t change it now.

Post-ovulation

Conceiving Connie thinks: “Oh, I think I just felt a little cramp! Could that have been implantation? There was a tiny bit of blood — was that implantation? My breasts are a little sore — is that pregnancy hormones or PMS? If I’m pregnant, how should I tell Conceiving Charlie that he’s going to be a father? When can I start taking a pregnancy test? I don’t want to get a negative test just because I’ve tested too early.”

Conceiving Connie does: Monitors her body for any possible sign of pregnancy, even though it’s likely too early to have any. Continues to take her temperature, watching for lows and highs. Looks for ways to take her mind off peeing on that pregnancy test. Can’t resist the pressure any longer, so she starts taking tests about 10 days post-ovulation. Tries to be optimistic without setting herself up for major disappointment. Is either thrilled when she gets a positive test or gets disappointed when she gets her period and starts over the next month.

All that thought — and that’s if that cycle is normal! If Conceiving Connie wasn’t charting, she’d still be spending her time thinking about getting pregnant, but she wouldn’t know what to think about. Should she be fighting off the desire to take a test or is it okay to take a test? Should she still be focusing on timing intercourse well? What should her obsession be focused on?

I know that obsession and overly worrying about conceiving isn’t helpful, but it’s human nature. So I Conceiving Connie like it when I Conceiving Connie can obsess with a purpose!

Did you obsess while trying to conceive? If so, about what?

I love charting! You know, the process of taking your temperature every morning with a body basal thermometer in order to help pinpoint if and when you’re ovulating. I’ve been a charter for almost three years — since January 2010 when my then-fiance and I decided to use it to prevent pregnancy.

So I charted. I had seven months of charts under my belt before we got married. I charted for another 12 months that first year. Then we changed from “trying to avoid pregnancy” to “trying to achieve pregnancy”! I was lucky enough to get pregnant that first month.

Here’s the deal though: I don’t think it was all luck. Knowing where I was in my cycle at any given moment gave my husband and me the education we needed to do almost all that we could to raise our conception chances. I know that even with that knowledge, pregnancy isn’t guaranteed, and it can still take a healthy couple a year to get pregnant. I just think knowing your fertility can help boost your chances. It takes much of the guesswork out of the equation. One of the best parts is that it costs almost nothing to do! All you need is a BBT thermometer (around $10) and some graph paper.  You can even do it online using a charting tool.

And now that we’re trying for baby number two, I’m charting again. In fact, I started charting again as soon as my cycle returned at nine weeks postpartum. Honestly, without charting, I would feel lost! As an example, my last cycle was 80 days long. That is not typical for me at all. (It always seems that as soon as you try to get pregnant, that’s when your body starts doing things it has never done before!)  But I’m also only six months postpartum, so things are likely to be a little wacky for a while. With an 80 day cycle, I probably would’ve spent the last 50 days of that cycle absolutely convinced that I was pregnant if I wasn’t charting. Why else would I not have a period? I would have taken test after test after test and continued to get a negative result. I probably would have called the doctor in panic (“I’m pregnant, but these tests keep lying to me!” ) And I’d probably ask the doctor for an appointment and blood test.

The pregnancy tests wouldn’t have been lying. The doctor’s appointment would have been unnecessary. The blood test would be more wasted money. I simply hadn’t ovulated yet. In fact, I didn’t ovulate until day 68 of my cycle. Because I had that knowledge, I didn’t waste money on pregnancy tests. I didn’t waste my doctor’s time. I didn’t stress out about being pregnant. I didn’t spend hours angry that the pregnancy test makers were churning out defective products. I didn’t have to play the “Am I? Aren’t I?” game for weeks on end. I might have been confused about why my body hadn’t ovulated yet, but at least I knew that it hadn’t.

I’m convinced that there isn’t anything that’s easier and cheaper to help you get pregnant. While charting isn’t for everyone, it’s a great tool. For $10, you garner tons of information on your body. Even if you don’t get pregnant in that first year, you still have a wealth of information to take to your doctor. Your charts can help show whether or not you’re ovulating in the first place and can clue you into a potential problem later in your cycle. Your charts will help show that you’re timing intercourse correctly. Without charting, it adds a little more complexity into the situation. I love it and I’ll probably chart my way right into menopause (in many, many years!)

Did you chart your cycle while you were trying to conceive? How long did it take you to get pregnant?