Oh boy- time for yet another BIG decision! Is it weird to not have family as guardians? Our Bumpies on the Parenting after 35 Board shared their thoughts on choosing a guardian:

“We designated the best man from our wedding and his wife.  My brother doesn’t want children and DHs brothers are kind of a mess.  My brother would be in charge of the money aspect, but our friends would be great at raising our boys. ” -smerk*

“We decided to go with DH’s best friend and his wife.  They have 3 young children and are good people.  Though they are not our religion, I’m not too concerned about that because they fit the bill on everything else and are still our best option.” -Strunell

“I don’t think it has to be family.  It should be whoever you feel the most comfortable raising. To be honest, the only person I would feel comfortable taking care of DD2 if something were to happen to us is DD1, who is actually insistent that she get her little sister to take care of. So that’s probably weirder than not having family as guardians.” -aurora974

“This isn’t something that should be decided based on family “politics” or the risk of hurt feelings — this is about your child and who will love him and raise him the way that you want him to be raised.” -ELF4321

“As parents, our most important job is to raise our kids well.  If we die, we want the most capable people to raise our children, the ones who agree with our value system.  In my case, it’s my brother, but if I didn’t trust him, I’d have no problem going somewhere else.” -meganandchester9

“You need to pick the person/people that you would trust to raise your child/children bottom line.  Family or friends who cares?” -jlw250

“I don’t think there is anything wrong with naming someone outside your family if they are the people that you would trust the most with your child.  I try to think about it in terms of who would give the best life for our child if something were to happen to us and if that is someone outside of your family there is nothing wrong with that.” -sparky1

Tell us: How did you choose your child’s guardian?

More from The Bump:

Before we go any further, you might want to grab hold of the tissues. The always adorable mama-to-be Kristen Bell and her leading man, Dax Shepard, have come forward to share one of the most beautiful and touching moments they’ve had together as parents (and baby’s not even born yet!).

Last December, Dax was on a solo trip to visit his dying father in a Detroit hospital. To the shock and surprise of both men, in walked his very, very pregnant partner, Bell. Talking about the occasion on his personal website, Dax said, “At one point, and unbeknownst to both of us, my wife walked into the room. She had flown in from LA without any warning. It was a surprise. It was an amazing, incredible, perfectly timed surprise.”

Dax goes on to detail what happened once Kristen entered the room — and I swear, if you weren’t already reaching for the tissues, you’re going to need them right now. Knowing that Dax’s dad might not make it to see their baby-to-be’s arrival into the world, Dax said, “She lifted her shirt up and he put his hand on her swollen stomach. He left it there for the better part of an hour. He was smiling from ear to ear, sitting contently, unable to put together a sentence, but still capable of connecting to the new family member we were creating.”

There’s nothing to be said for this aside how beautiful, breathtaking and unforgettable this moment must have been. I’m sure that Dax, Kristen and baby-to-be all carry it with them, every day and that is truly special.

Dax said about his dad, “He wasn’t going to make it to the birth, but that didn’t get in the way of him meeting the new baby. It was an emotional and triumphant moment. One I will never forget.” Trust us — we’re never going to forget the sweetness, either.

And to sum up the heartwarming story, Dax paid the ultimate tribute to his bride-to-be (the pair vow not to wed until that same right is awarded to all people). He said, “If I live to be a thousand, I will still be in debt to my wife for giving him that one last thrill.” It’s totally true — Kristen’s act was so selfless, so honest, and 100 percent about family.

So amazing!

Did your baby get to meet his/her grandparents?

Plus, more from The Bump:

Kristen Bell Shows Off Her Pregnant Belly — and Her Pooch!

Best (Maternity) Dressed: Kristen Bell

Pregnant Celebrities

Breastfeeding my son was something that I was so excited to do while I was pregnant. I read everything that I could get my hands on to prepare myself, listened intently during my Lamaze class, and prayed for an easy transition into it. The hours of reading and praying were very helpful, but now that I am five months into breastfeeding, I realize that there was one critical component missing from all of the literature: the dad.

I’d like to say that breastfeeding would still be as successful as it has been for our family if it was just me doing it, but without my husband, I know things would have been tough.

Here’s how he helped make it work for me:

My husband was open to learning and listening.

When we got pregnant last fall, I expressed to my husband that I really wanted to breastfeed our son. Initially, I do not think either of us had any inkling as to how much time we would invest in breastfeeding in the near future. However, he jumped on board and we began learning about it. We both listened intently during our Lamaze classes as we went over different nursing positions, understanding baby’s feeding cues, and proper latching. He listened to me ramble about whatever I had most recently read, and would talk to me about possible challenges that could lie ahead. Having someone who I could bounce my excitement and fears off of was critical for me. Especially since I am a talker and a thinker (and I’m sure you can relate).

He is my #1 encourager.

My breastfeeding relationship started off without a hitch with my son, something that we are very thankful for. Then I got a severe case of mastitis. It was horrible. I was in the hospital, in and out of doctor’s offices, and ended up on an antibiotic that was not breastfeeding friendly. Throughout this two-month struggle, he kept encouraging me that it would soon pass and we could go back to normal. He helped wash and assemble my pump when I had to pump/dump for nearly three weeks and he comforted me when I would crumble at the frustration of it all. After recovering and looking back on that time period, I know he played a huge part in maintaining my milk supply through my illness. He helped remind me how much I wanted this for our family when I just wanted to give up.

He is thankful and shows it.

Breastfeeding has its benefits (for us) beyond the medical realm, and there are a few things that I know he is thankful for. It is very convenient to have food ready for your little one at will call. It’s the right temperature and you do not have to prepare a bottle. We have so much respect for parents who use bottles (and formula) after having to use them regularly when I was sick. It is a lot of work. We have also saved a lot of money by breastfeeding, and not having to purchase formula, which has been a huge help to this frugal family. I also get up throughout the night to feed our little man, who still wakes up for a quick meal two to three times a night. All of these things he has shown gratitude for and to be honest, I really appreciate the recognition. Even the littlest things are helpful, like grabbing me a glass of water while I am nursing! Let’s face it. Breastfeeding is tough work.

He love my boobs. Duh.

Last, but definitely not least, my husband loves my boobs! I worried a bit about how breastfeeding would affect the attractiveness of my breasts to my husband, but you know what he said? He told me he loves it because he gets to see them ALL THE TIME! That hadn’t even occurred to me! I guess we both win when he helps me with breastfeeding, huh?

How has your partner supported you throughout the journey of feeding your baby?

Plus, more from The Bump:

11 Things You Didn’t Know About Breastfeeding

Top 10 Breastfeeding Tips for New Moms

Top 10 Reasons to Breastfeed

This morning, some 400 young children made their way back to their familiar classrooms and back to a (semi) normal routine. But the students of Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut did not return to the same elementary school that Adam Lanza turned into a place of tragedy and sadness. No. Instead, the 400 students who we’ve all hailed as brave, courageous kids are making their home in a new school, one town over, in Monroe, CT at the old Chalk Hill school.

Before the morning bell rang, dozens of volunteers have worked relentlessly, turning the once-was Chalk Hill school into the new, safe Sandy Hook Elementary School. Volunteers raised bathroom floors for kindergarteners to be able to reach the toilets and the sink the bathrooms, as well as replicating the placement of bookshelves and cubbys for students to feel at home. They’ve also carried over students backpacks and other belongings that they left behind the morning of the devastating shooting. But that wasn’t all the volunteers made sure the students had on their first day back to school.

In addition to painting the walls and hanging the same signs and artwork to match the students old classrooms, as well as transferring tables, chairs and desks from Sandy Hook to Chalk Hill, students were given gift boxes with toys inside.

Safety precautions for the children, their teachers and their families have been taken to ensure that as much normalcy as possible can be given. Law enforcement has even dubbed the new school, “the safest school in America” and rightly so, for these children deserve nothing but the best as they make their return to school. The school district has also encouraged parents that would like to stay close with their children to stay and visit in the classrooms or auditorum as long as they’d like. Parents are even encouraged to ride the bus with their children, to help them feel safe and secure returning to familiar routines.

Parents had IDs checked and incoming students and families were greeted by a fleet of police. Officers guarded the entrances and exits of the building.

Though the community is still reeling from the tragedy, Newtown Superintendent Janet Robinson said that they will be doing a normal day of classes, keeping the children and teachers on a regular schedule.

After a whirlwind of tragedy and horror that shocked the nation, a little normalcy is all we can hope for for the brave Sandy Hook students.

Plus, more from The Bump:

Sandy Hook Snowflakes: I’m In, Are You?

After School Shooting, Pediatricians Recommend Turning the TV Off Around Kids

Parents React With Fear and Empathy for Victims of Sandy Hook Elementary

The Queen B is back, y’all!

While the Northeast braced for snow, wind and bitterly cold temperatures, Beyonce, Jay Z and adorable baby Blue kept it real cool, setting sail aboard some beautiful boat to a getaway on some beautiful island. We’re over here like Hey! Can we get an invite!? (But seriously — can we?)

All jealousy aside, there’s a whole lot of loving going on in this photo. Looks like mama’s little girl has already learned to pucker up for the cameras. Even though B is always one to share candid, personal photos documenting her life, music and (more recently!) her growing girl, we just can’t seem to get enough. Blue Ivy Carter celebrated her first Christmas this year and soon enough we’ll all be saying ‘Bottoms Up!’ to celebrate Blue’s first birthday, on January 7.

This year has definitely been a year of firsts for Bey and her leading man, who dubbed their daughter’s birth the “best experience of our lives”. Since welcoming their little bundle in style, B has been committed to spending time with Blue and Jay even penned a song about his girl. The cuteness! Gah!

Don’t you love this photo of Beyonce and Blue?

Do you melt when you see your partner interact with baby? I know I do. One of the most rejuvenating and touching things is to watch my husband spend time with our son. My husband is patient, playful, and attentive (maybe I am biased but I think he is pretty great). Sometimes I even sneak outside the doorway just to listen to them make noises at each other. It is precious!

As the mom in the picture, I feel a bit of a responsibility to help my husband bond well with our son since he spends most of his time with me. Knowing that, I know their time together is precious and important for establishing a relationship.

Here are a few ways we do this at our house:

Get dad involved at feeding times

Since I am breastfeeding our son, it is not often that my husband gets to do the actual feedings. Especially since I use breastfeeding as one of my bonding times with our son after work (he drinks pumped milk at daycare).  Does that mean dad can’t be a part of feedings? Absolutely not! My husband does most of the burping and we usually end up in hysterics as spit up flies all over.  Not only does our son get to be close to dad, but it is now a little family ritual that we all do together.

Let dad and baby cuddle it up!

Evening times with a newborn can be a bit chaotic while trying to juggle feedings, diaper changes, laundry, dinner, and even just saying hi to your significant other. One thing that I have found helpful is to let dad and baby have their cuddle time.  Sometimes I will just look and my husband and say, ‘why don’t you go lay on the couch with Asa.’ This frees up my hands to get some much-needed housework done quickly and encourages them to have some quality bonding time together. Everyone wins!

Make bath time a family event

Have you come to love bath time with your baby? Our son loves being in the warm water and getting a baby massage. We have found that we have more fun (and it is easier) making bath time happen as a family. My husband is in charge of the body washing, and I wash his hair. Some of our best memories so far have involved bath time, and it has been great watching dad develop his confidence while holding our slippery, squirmy son.

Have dad become part of your established morning routine

Morning routines look different in every household (read more about our’s here!). Dad’s job is to get baby ready for the day by changing his diaper and getting him dressed.  Then, they hang out for a few minutes while I finish throwing myself together.  Those early morning moments really mean a lot to my husband and are a great boost of baby time before heading to work. This might not work exactly the same way for your schedule, but be creative! I bet there are ways that you can combine a needed routine with quality bonding!

Let dad and baby develop their own thing

As a mom (or woman?), I sometimes desire to have control over everything. Can you relate at all? However, one of the best things for my husband and I is when I just let him do his own thing with baby. Whether that means some quality tummy time, reading a book, or looking at the Christmas tree,  I am learning that they find great things to do together and enjoy it much more when I am hands off.

What does dad and baby bonding look like in your life?

Plus, more from The Bump:

How I Knew I Wanted to Quit My Job and Become a Stay-at-Home Mom

Your Baby Will Learn Better by Doing What?!

The Best Advice for New Moms (That’s Hardest to Follow!)

Did you wait till the last minute to do your Christmas shopping? Are you racking your brain for what to get that hard-to-buy-for person who has everything? Not sure your tot needs yet another toy? Well, have I got the gift guide for you! Here’s my list of thoughtful gifts for your loved ones. Bonus: they’re all free! It’s my Christmas gift to you. You’re welcome.

For moms:

Privacy. If a working lock for the bathroom door is not feasible, give her the gift of letting her do her business solo without talking to her through the door. Imagine, an entire shower without someone coming in to ask where the red sippy cup is or flushing the toilet and scalding you. Or getting to do your hair and makeup on the same day!

For dads:

Space. Let him watch the whole game without interrupting to talk about the color of the baby’s poop or the state of your 401k. Allow him to drink his coffee before asking him if he remembered to put out the recycling and what you should get his mom for her birthday. Don’t hand him a crying baby and a whiny toddler before he’s even fully in the door from work. At least let him turn off the car engine first.

For grandparents:

Satisfaction. As in, give them the satisfaction of thinking you are taking their advice – or at least considering it. When they say, “We used to put you kids in playpens” or “Give the baby a bottle of water when he cries at night” or “Don’t give in to those temper tantrums; show her who’s boss,” just smile and nod. Bonus points for throwing in a “Why didn’t I think of that?”

For babies:

Access. Every parent knows babies don’t want to play with those boring old educational toys. So let them have your germy keys, the metal pots and pans, and the dog’s filthy chew-toy. They’ll be in heaven, and you’ll be on standby with the Purell and Advil (for you).

For toddlers & preschoolers:

Independence. Imagine an entire day where your child gets to make all his own decisions. The striped shirt with the plaid shorts and Elmo rain boots? Why not! Waffles and M&Ms for breakfast? Sure! A four-hour Dora marathon? Go nuts! What’s the worst that could happen? Cavities? Public ridicule? A nuclear meltdown? You’ll live. Of course, my kids have been known to ask to drive the car, play in traffic, and drink Red Bull, so you’ll have to draw the line somewhere.

Here’s wishing you and yours a happy, stress-free holiday!

Every year I put tons of thought into my holiday card (see past photos here). I come up with a theme, I get props, I go all out. My friends have begun to expect, even anticipate what I’ll put out every year. So when one of my friends was telling me that she couldn’t have a fun holiday card because she could never get her girls to sit still for a photo I thought, “But why do they have to?”

My favorite photos of kids are always the ones where they have cake smashed on their face, where they’re playing on the swing set or holding out their sticky hands toward the camera. Kids are active and messy, so why do they have to sit still for a posed photo?

So I proposed a solution: let’s let the girls throw flour all over each other to capture the holiday spirit. The girls got really into it, and we all had a blast. And I think the result was pretty close to perfection.

Are you sending out a holiday card this year? What fun ideas do you have for family photos?

Cute holiday card ideas from The Bump

In the weeks, months, and years after you have a child, your needs as a parent and as a person will change. Most times, parents are showered with support before and immediately after the birth of your child. When those days and weeks pass and the initial throng of visitors tapers off, you may be left in a different situation than you envisioned.

I personally envisioned my family and friends being not only extremely close but also extremely helpful when I pictured the first months and years of my child’s life.

However, things don’t always turn out the way you’d hope.

There are many, many mothers and fathers that are so lucky in having an extensive network of family and friends present for support at the drop of a hat. My husband and I do not.

When we made the choice to live a significant distance away from our family and friends, a price we paid was the lack of support system. Couple that with pre-existing medical conditions that barred some of our closest family from being as physically present as they’d like to be, and my husband and I were basically on an island with our child.

If you find yourself in this situation after your child is born, here are a few tips that helped our little family to get through.

If your significant other is involved in your baby’s life, learn to rely on each other. Part of being a wife- for me, in this transition, has been to learn how to give my husband rest, breaks, time away… but also to ask for it in return.

It is also extremely important not to dwell on the lack of support. If you spend your time thinking of how little help you have, when it does come around, you’re not going to be thankful for those moments.

While you will eventually get back to these tasks (I promise!), seriously just forget about your chores for a while.  If your ironing/vacuuming/dishes slide off of your priority list for an extended period of time, it’s not important. When you begin to learn the balance of parenting, some of those tasks will be added back in slowly. Until then, don’t worry about it.

And lastly, find what works for you.  If it feels healthier to get out and take your child on a walk every day for fresh air, make that a priority. If you feel overwhelmed and don’t even want to bother spending hours getting ready for one simple outing, stay at home. Making yourself healthier as a parent is going to lead to a happier you and a happier family.

If you do find yourself in this position, know you’re not alone. We will learn, we will adapt, and we will not only get through this, but we will be better people for it.

How much support did you have as a new parent? How did you cope at the times you didn’t have help?

We already know that eating together has a lot of benefits, but now new research confirms it. According to TIME, about 40 percent of an average American family’s budget is spent on eating out, which can lead to poorer food choices (fattier and saltier foods that have high calories). Researchers at the Rutgers, the State University of New Jersey, looked at 68 studies on obesity and eating behavior and found that families benefit from having meals together. Children who eat with their families consumed more fruits and veggies. Plus, it was found that teens who ate with their families were less likely to suffer from depression and felt more support from their parents.

Although researchers didn’t find an official link between family meals and obesity, kids who ate meals with their families had a lower body mass index. By spending more time at the dinner table, parents can teach their kids about healthy eating.

Does your family eat meals together? How do you make family meals a priority?