When you’re giving yourself a shot of estrogen in a Starbucks restroom or couch-bound for two days straight after being put under anesthesia to have 20 eggs harvested, it’s hard not to feel like you are the only woman alive living through the pain of infertility.

To make it worse, sometimes it feels like each and every woman you pass by has the most perfect baby bump and everyone is pregnant. There are pregnant women standing under street lights and perched near lamp posts, pregnant women hailing a cab on the corner, pregnant woman strolling into and out of every baby shop on the street; hell, even the stop sign seems to be telling you, “STOP trying and it will happen.”

It’s such a 21st century cliché to cry, “Everyone else is pregnant except me!” But in the thick of treatment, there is no persuading yourself otherwise. I remember at one point in our own infertility journey texting my husband a list of about 14 girls I knew on a very close basis who were all pregnant, punctuating the message with a self-pitying “WHY NOT ME?” (I’m sure my plummeting self confidence and a deep sense of despair were incredible turn-ons.)

But once you allow yourself to open up, you find that you’re not at all as alone as you felt. For me, the moment I begin speaking about our struggle, women leap out of the woodwork, revealing their own battles to me. Perhaps it’s an age thing: More of us are waiting to have children, or maybe it’s a result of chronic environmental insults: Crop-enhancing pesticides, air and water teeming with pollution, canned tomato sauce brimming with fertility-sapping BPA. As one of my acupuncturists once opined, “You think hick girls living on the family farm in Arkansas are having trouble getting pregnant? Of course not.”

This week is National Infertility Awareness Week. Whether you are in the midst of a #CLOMIDFAIL, en route to @injectable_drugs or about to post a pic of your IVF baby’s 12-week ultrasound to Facebook, please know that you are not alone. For every woman who conceives on her honeymoon, another needs gobs of help to make it to her babymoon or is hunkered down on an adoption waiting list, eager to meet her beautiful child.

Despite the fact that you have received three baby shower invites in the past week and the cover of People features a 64-year-old actress and her newborn twins, remember that there are hundreds of thousands of other women lurk in the shadows, quietly chugging FertiliTea while en route to their morning ultrasound to see how thick their uterine lining has bloomed overnight.

Don’t be afraid to talk about it — like an HCG test, there is strength in numbers.

Did you share your journey to conceive with others?

Plus, more from The Bump:

Infertility Warning Signs

How to Deal When Everyone Else Is Pregnant (and You’re Still Trying)

How Much Fertility Treatments Cost

In a teaser for the coming episode of Kourtney and Kim Take Miami, it’s little sister Khloe Kardashian-Odom who steals the show (and as usual, our hearts). The always outspoken, spunky and 100 percent daring Kardashian lets the light shine on her personal life and her struggle to conceive.

While talking with her stepbrother, Brandon Jenner, and his wife, Leah Felder, Khlo opens up about just how long she and her basketball star husband, Lamar Odom, have been trying to conceive. She says that they’ve been trying for a baby, “Since I married Lamar,” on September 27, 2009 — almost four years ago.

Since then, Khloe admits that they’ve tried fertility treatments but just recently decided to try their luck at conceiving a child naturally. “About a year ago, we were like, ‘Let’s just see what happens.’ And then when it didn’t happen, Kim was like, ‘Let’s go to the doctor,’ Khloe tells them.

And while there has been so much speculation surrounding her fertility issues, Khloe clears the air on what doctors suggested for her, and how she’s moving forward. “I found out I don’t ovulate,” she says, “and my my uterus lining isn’t thick enough and I have to take pills to make my uterus lining thicker. If that doesn’t get thicker, then I cannot carry a baby.”

Let’s pretend for a second that Khloe isn’t a super celebrity. She’s just a woman trying to conceive and struggling to do it. But since she is a celebrity (and, mind you, the only Kardashian sister I can stand), I can see how frustrating it must be that her pregnancy has almost become public policy. I feel for her, especially since her sisters are building and growing their families, too, while her struggle to conceive continues on. But, to give her credit where credit’s due, I think it’s uplifting to her and other women that she’s remained honest, optimistic and positive — a task not easy to do. And I think she could become a spokeswoman for other women who struggle to conceive and feel alone in the process.

Even big sister Kourtney, mama to Mason and Penelope, struggles to bring up the topic to with Khloe. She said, “I overhear Khloe talking about her pregnancy drama, and she never really talks to me about it anymore. I kind of don’t really ask her, because I don’t want to always bother her. It just makes me sad that she has to struggle with getting pregnant.” It actually makes me sad, too.

Did you struggle to conceive? Was it hard to stay positive?

Plus, more from The Bump:

How Much Fertility Treatments Cost

High-Tech Ways to Conceive

There comes a point in most women’s trying to conceive (TTC) journey where she starts to feel betrayed by her body. At least, I imagine that’s true for most women. I know that many women get pregnant quite easily (I was that way with my first (and so far only) child) and so they might not feel this. But I suspect it is quite common.

In every cycle that doesn’t end in a pregnancy, you’re left with the evidence that you’re not pregnant – either a negative pregnancy test or the start of another period.  At first, this didn’t really bother me. But that isn’t really the case anymore.

Things still haven’t returned to normal since my son was born. My cycles post-baby are nothing like my cycles pre-baby. (Making me very happy that I’m charting, otherwise I’d just be sitting here so confused!) It’s like my body has forgotten what it’s like to ovulate at a regularly expected time.

So, you try to do things to take your mind off of it. I read more, I find good things to watch on Netflix; I start projects around the house. But there are hobbies that I have that do remind me that I’m trying to get pregnant (as if I could somehow forget). I blog at The Bump, I join message boards for other like-minded women.

And then there are the things that creep up on me and remind me that I’m not pregnant. A chart that shows no evidence of ovulation, running into pregnant women at the store, seeing friends announce babies on Facebook; the vacations that I know can take since I won’t be at home with a newborn. But I remind myself that I have no idea what any other woman’s journey is like. I don’t know the battles she’s facing. I don’t know the wounds she’s dealing with. I can’t compare myself to other women and their stage of life.

But I’m starting to feel like my body is betraying me.

After all, it isn’t doing what I want it to do. I can only control so much. I can’t force my body to ovulate. I can’t force my cycles to be regular. So as understandable as it is to feel betrayed by my body at times, I try to take a step back and focus on what I can control. I dry my tears and look to the future. Sometimes, it’s the only thing you can do.

How do you handle the disappointment when you’re not getting pregnant?

Plus, more from The Bump:

Infertility Warning Signs

When Should I Start Worrying About Infertility?

How to Deal When Everyone Else Is Pregnant (and You’re Still Trying)

I’m a firm believer in sharing your story with others. For my husband and I, it has been the recent struggle of trying to conceive (TTC) for a year and a half. Now I’m nine months pregnant and anxiously waiting the day I get to meet my little girl. But I don’t want to forget what those 18 months felt like and how that is a part of my story.

Here are a few things I considered before sharing my experience with TTC:

Why share your story – I believe that connecting with others is a wonderful and powerful part of life. Being vulnerable with others is how we connect and deepen our appreciation of life and of each other. For myself, I chose to “go public” with our story of struggling with conception after my husband and I became pregnant. Because I openly shared, friends and acquaintances shared personal stories with me and I learned that story wasn’t a lonely one.

Who to share your story with – Maybe you don’t feel comfortable with your personal business going “Facebook live.” Think through who you are comfortable sharing your story with. I advise discussing it over with your partner before either of you decide to share it with anyone. You might decide to limit telling a few close friends and family, or decide that you want to be a mouthpiece for TTC and open the discussion within your circle and social network.

How to share your story – Maybe you’re a writer, like myself, and blogging is the natural way to share. But maybe you’re not. Share your story in the way you feel most comfortable. If you are best communicating face-to-face, share with those as it comes up in conversation. Are you gifted in arts or photography? However you are skilled, consider using it to tell your story.

My hope is that if you are TTC and haven’t shared your feelings with anyone yet, this article would encourage you to share with those family and friends who you find appropriate. One thing about struggling with TTC is you are not nearly as alone as it feels and you shouldn’t feel ashamed or embarrassed by your struggle.

If you struggled or are currently struggling with TTC, how are you sharing your story?

Live for today. If I could go back and give myself advice two years ago, that would be it. It took my husband and me about a year and a half to conceive. After a few months of “let’s just see what happens,” the reality that this would take longer than we anticipated set in.

Every day was equated to how many days until I could take a pregnancy test, how many days until my next cycle, how many days it’d been since we’d started trying, how many days pregnant I would be if it happened the first month.

After a while, I wanted nothing more than to float through my schedule until a day I would find out news.

Here are a few things that helped me though each grueling two-week wait:

Have an active state of mind. When your life turns into a perpetual countdown, it’s tempting to set yourself on cruise control and coast through until the next milestone. I’d recommend discovering something that makes you happy, inspired, and encouraged and finding time to enjoy it each week. Personally, I started an online craft shop that allowed me to have a creative outlet. Fill your week with events and activities that fulfill you, instead of just passing time.

Learn to be thankful. You’ve heard this before, and even though it has become cliché it doesn’t make it any less true — you have plenty to be thankful for! The temptation to focus on what we don’t have enough of – money, time, etc. – can easily take over during this draining time of TTC. Take an active role in battling this stress by reminding yourself of what you’re thankful for.

Love the season you’re in. Take time to enjoy life exactly where you are. Maybe it’s a work schedule that’s ideal. Maybe it’s a specific time of the year. Maybe all of your family is living in one state. Whatever it is, celebrate this season of your life!

What has helped you get through your two-week wait while TTC?

To try to get pregnant, couples dealing with infertility may try to increase their odds for conception by changing their lifestyle or taking extra vitamins. Some, however, have started turning to lady luck hoping to win a free IVF treatment.

Recently, fertility clinics across that country have held contests that offer one major prize: the chance to have a baby. Using promotion like random drawings, charity runs and essay competitions, these treatment centers have been able to give infertile couples the chance at a family.

Part of the motivation is altruistic. With fertility treatments costing up to $25,000, a free round of IVF could, for some, be the difference between having a baby and not. For example, Jessica Upham, who won an embryo implant from Long Island IVF, a clinic in Melville, New York.

“I feel inadequate that I can’t provide this to my husband the natural way,” Upham told the The New York Times. She says the prize is, “a wonderful opportunity that I wouldn’t otherwise have.”

Still, it can partially be a publicity stunt.

“I hesitate to use the word ‘marketing,’ but we wanted to get our name out there,” Robin Musiak, the executive director of Reproductive Health Specialists, a Pittsburgh clinic that’s conducted several raffles, told The New York Times. “It worked really well.”

However, not everyone in the industry shares Robin’s thoughts. Some believe these winners should be based on need not luck. As of now, no centers screen for financial need or insurance that might cover the procedure, so someone who can’t afford IVF could easily lose out to someone who can. To some, there’s also a morality issue. Pamela Madsen, a founder and former executive director of the American Fertility Association does not understand how it is “against the law to raffle off a puppy, but people are allowed to raffle off the opportunity to have a baby.”

But as long as doctors are willing to offer their service, raffles for free IVF treatment (and ultimately a family) will continue to be an option.

Do you think it’s right to raffle off IVF treatments?

Plus, more from The Bump:

Ovulation and Conception Basics

Fertility Tricks that Work

Common conception Myths — Debunked

Infertility is an issue that, according to the CDC, affects 10 percent of  American women. A new Japanese study, however, may clue researchers in on a new way to reduce that number.

In the study, scientists used blood and stem cells from mouse eggs to create eggs — and the eggs produced healthy mouse offspring. Researchers did two tests: one using embryonic stem cells (destroyed and recultivated embryos) and one using induced pluripotent stem (iPS) cells (skin cells that are reprogrammed to an embryonic-like state.) Both sets of cells were used to create eggs, and there were similar birth rates for both groups. This is the first study in which created eggs were able to produce healthy offspring that were also able to reproduce themselves.

First, scientists added growth factors and proteins to the stem cells to turn them into primordial germ cells. They then combined these cells with biological cells from mouse ovaries, making “reconstituted ovaries” that were later transplanted to the mouse. A month later,  scientists removed the cells, isolating immature egg cells and allowing them to mature in a dish. The mature eggs were later fertilized with mouse sperm in a test tube and the resulting embryos were transferred into female mice, leading to the birth of healthy mice.

Of course, the study is not perfect. Scientist found that mice impregnated via treatment created healthy offspring less often that those impregnated naturally. According to Time, mice impregnated with natural eggs produced healthy offspring 13 percent of the time, compared with 3.9 percent for eggs created from embryonic stem cells and 1.8 percent for eggs made using iPS cells.

That being said, this is still a huge breakthrough for fertility treatment. If scientist are able to produce the same results in humans using iPS cells, it would get rid of the ethical issues involving embryonic stem cell use. Not to mention, more women may be able to get pregnant.

Do you think the study has potential?

Plus, more from The Bump:

Fertility Tests and Treatments — Decoded

8 Surprising Facts About Male Infertility

Fertility Treatment Basics

Hello, Bumpies! Thank you so much for reading this and joining in on my infertility journey. Let’s catch you up, shall we?

First of all, I’m Melanie. I’ve been married to Brad for just over a year and while our first year was challenging at times, we faced those challenges together. The largest challenge came six months after we started trying for a baby.

I discontinued my Mirena IUD in October 2011, a month after we were married. We began actively trying for a child in January, under the advice of my doctor. I started taking prenatal vitamins and we began trying to conceive with high hopes. Six months came and went with nothing. My cycles are a little irregular, so we thought we were just having difficulty getting the timing just right. In July, we still had no positive results, so my doctor ordered blood work for me and semen analysis for Brad.

My bloodwork came back a little low and the preliminary thought was that I might not be ovulating. Our hearts sank. They sank even lower when we got Brad’s results — zero sperm. His final diagnosis: CBAVD (Congenital Bilateral Absence of the Vas Deferens). In layman’s terms, my husband has no exit ramp for sperm. They’re trapped.

Months of diagnosis and multiple doctors led us to this: In-vitro fertilization (IVF) with intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI). It’s our only option to have biological children. Brad’s condition means that his sperm don’t get a chance to mature fully, so they can’t swim. The ICSI part means that the doctors will physically place one of Brad’s sperm in one of my eggs to to make our babies. Don’t get me wrong — we’re not trying for twins. The doctor will only implant one embryo on the first go-round and we’ll freeze the rest in case we need or want them later.

Right now, we’re coordinating services with Brad’s urologist and my IVF doctor to extract Brad’s sperm and prepare me for IVF (extracting eggs, fertilizing eggs, implanting embryos). We’re also working towards getting approved for adoption. Brad and I had talked about adoption even before learning of our infertility issues. We feel that, as a result of our diagnoses, we need to start the process now. It’s usually a four- to six-month process of parent-training, home studies and background checks before we can be approved to adopt.

I know this is a very quick intro. Please keep checking back to because I’ll post more on our diagnoses and what they mean for us, as well as challenges we’re facing with doctors and insurances. If you’ve got any specific questions, please leave them in the comments. I’d love to answer them for you!

Have you gone through fertility treatments or adoption? What were your biggest struggles and how did you get through them?

Yesterday, I had my second monitoring appointment to check to see how well the Clomid and injections grew my follicles. (This is all to get me to start ovulating. See more about why I’m doing all this here.) I was incredibly nervous. I started to think about all the “what ifs.” What if there are too many follicles? What if there aren’t any at all? What if my lining is too thin? The ultrasound tech started with my right ovary. There were about 15 small follicles but nothing over 7 mm. I need at least one follicle over the size of 18 mm in order to trigger ovulation. I was disappointed that nothing was there. Then I started worrying there wouldn’t be any on my left ovary either. The tech searched and searched with the wand but couldn’t find my left ovary. She switched to the external wand and after more searching, found my left. She zoomed in and measured a beautiful 20 mm follicle. Whew, relief! She found one other one that was decent size: 15 mm.

After the ultrasound, I met with my doctor to discuss the plan. She said everything was looking great and I’m exactly where she wants me to be. The plan was to inject myself with an HCG trigger shot tonight to induce ovulation and then to have sex tonight. I told her my husband and I were on the fence about whether or not to do IUI (interuterine insemination — this is where sperm is injected into the uterus), instead of trying to conceive the old fashioned way. I asked her, “Should we give it our all and pay for the IUI this cycle or save the money for injections next cycle and only do timed intercourse for now?”  She said, “I’m always thinking about this cycle and giving it our all. I think you should do the IUI this cycle and we can worry about next cycle later. But then again, it’s easier for me to say that sitting in this position. Still, if you were my daughter, I would tell you to do the IUI.” So, go big or go home, right?  We are scheduled to for an IUI tonight and IUI #2 on Friday. Come on, Team Erwin!

Did you do fertility treatments? How did you decide which treatments and procedures to have done?

My name is Kristy. I’m 26 years old and have been trying to conceive my first child since August of 2011. I have been married for over three years and have a nine-year-old stepdaughter. I am a daily poster on The Bump Trying to Get Pregnant and Trouble Trying to Get Pregnant message boards. Just a little background on my medical history. I am physically disabled due to a benign spinal cord astrocytoma (tumor) they found when I was five years old. Unfortunately, it caused a mess of other problems for me, including mobility issues, scoliosis, nerve damage, and a whole lot more. I’ve had a total of 17 surgeries (three tumor removals, two leg lengthenings with several re-breaks of bones in between, foot reconstruction, and many others) . I have definitely gone through hell and back but I fully believe that all of these challenges have prepared me for the struggle I am facing now.

Over a year ago my husband, Rich, and I trashed the birth control after visiting and speaking with each of my eight doctors to make sure it was okay for me to physically carry and have a child. I’ve always wanted to be a mom and I wasn’t going to let my disability or medical conditions get in the way of that. I wasn’t ovulating so I decided to call my OB — I call him Dr. Vajay for obvious reasons. He ran several tests and diagnosed me with PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome). He would always say, “We will get you pregnant. I just have a feeling it’s going to take a little bit longer for you to get there.” Truer words have never been spoken, Dr. Vajay. After that, he sent me off to the infertility clinic. I’m currently on my 5th round of Clomid and five days of injections into the stomach. I never thought it would take so much to get pregnant but I’m willing to do poke myself with needles, drive to tons of monitoring appointments and pay a ton of money to get there. I will have a child one day, whether it’s one month from now or three years from now. I’m never going to give up until I have a sweet little baby in my arms.

So now you know a little about my history and where I am on the roller coaster of trying to conceive. I look forward to sharing my thoughts, pictures, disappointments and how I handle this crazy ride in future posts. I’m incredibly open so feel free to ask any questions. Thanks for reading!

Have you struggled with fertility? How did you get through it?