I was never the type of girl that dreamed of the day that I would be married or have children. Instead I dreamed of the day that I would be recognized for other accomplishments in my career. While I listened to my friends share the names of their future children, I was busy thinking of what countries I would travel to first or what I would say to the President when I first met him.

As time went on and I grew up, I learned an important lesson about life: you can plan all you want but nothing is certain.

As a young twenty-something I got pregnant. The pregnancy I had never planned for myself was here, and with it came severe morning sickness. I was sick all day, every day. I tried everything I could think of or read about to feel better but nothing worked. I was a hermit. What felt like eternity finally ended one month before I had my daughter. It was a brief moment of bliss. I felt like Snow White when the animals and birds are following her singing…

Fast forward 10 years and I was happily expecting my second child. This time around, I really believed that I wouldn’t be as sick because I was willing to whatever I could to stay positive and healthy. But boy, was I mistaken… I was even more sick than with my first child. I was so sick I never traveled too far from a bathroom and I would keep laundry sheets and lavender sachets in my pockets to cover my nose in public places. I could hardly watch any television without feeling — or worse! – getting sick. Fast food commercials made my stomach turn. Needless to say, it was beyond difficult for me and even harder for my daughter and my partner.

Honestly, I hated being pregnant. For some reason, pregnancy has been so glorified in our society and made out to be the best moment of your life. Of course, for so many women, it is. But for the others, like me, it’s the exact opposite. I do know women that have experienced flawless pregnancies — they didn’t gain extreme amounts of weight, they felt energetic and they enjoyed every moment and milestone without ever feeling sick.  To those women: I admire you so (and envy you so!)

I love, love, love my children but I am so truly thankful I won’t be pregnant again. It just wasn’t easy for me. And for other moms who’ve struggled through their pregnancies, I hope you know you’re not alone.

Did you enjoy your pregnancy, or was it hard for you too?

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Top 10 Things They Should Really Warn You About Before Getting Pregnant

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I don’t know how it is for everyone else, but the first time I suffered from morning sickness, I worried that I’d literally puke up something necessary for survival — a lung; liver; My intestines.

Right before my first bout, I had enjoyed a light, healthy lunch at O’Charley’s with my husband and parents. I felt pretty good about myself because I’d been the epitome of health ever since I found out about baby. I had given up caffeine cold-turkey, I ate lots of veggies, done everything you’re supposed to when eating for two. “I don’t know what all the fuss is about, It’s not hard,” I thought condescendingly.

Fast forward approximately one hour later and… I can’ even describe it. I just didn’t feel good, but I didn’t feel sick.  I felt just… Ew.

“I can’t take it anymore,” I thought. “I have to, “Oh god, something’s going to come out.” Fifteen minutes later, I’m still deep-breathing. I know this has to happen, only I can’t accept it. I turn around and kneel before the commode that is my firing squad. I wait. I heave.

I. have. never. ever had a puking experience like that one before.  I don’t mean to be crass, or gross, but goodness. I decide it’s best to shudder and sigh as loudly as I can, in the hope that my husband will come upstairs and feel really sorry for me.  He must not have heard.

They say pregnancy is such a beautiful thing… I suppose it is. But after heaving up things I shudder to think of (even now), I am so skeptical that pregnancy is anything but horrible. I decide that very night, once and for all — THIS will be my last baby. I can’t do this again.  I just can’t.

I love the baby growing inside of me, but I resent it for making me pull over into a stranger’s driveway to ralph-and-run. I hate that I now can’t stand the smell of my very expensive face wash, the smell of otherwise freshly scented things like soap, certain lotions, and worst of all, Parmesan. I hate that I now spend at least fifty bucks on car air fresheners, each one with the intent of removing the sickly scent of the last.

Looking back on my little trip through Pukesville, I must admit,  I now think twice about going through it all again.  For me, the exhaustion and constant nausea was worse than the birth by 1,000 percent.  It wasn’t easy when folks would say, “Oh, I never did get sick with any of my babies.”  Really? Really?

But when I look at my little blue-eyed bear giving me his best, “yeah, Mommy — I pooped!” grin, I think about how that was him in there.  He was the one in there all along making me toss perfectly good cookies. And then, the trip through Pukesville doesn’t seem so bad after all.  I mean, I wouldn’t stop for sight-seeing or anything, but I’d definitely make a pit-stop again in the future.

Were you one of the lucky ones?  Share your morning sickness memories!

Plus, more from The Bump:

Foods That Ease Morning Sickness

Morning Sickness Tips

What Causes Morning Sickness?

People don’t tend to be secretive when it comes to how their pregnancies go. Call it part of the mommy wars or what have you, but women love to share the ups and — especially — the downs of pregnancy. So, we grow up hearing all the horror stories about the crazy cravings, horrible morning sickness, extreme pain in childbirth — and don’t forget the horrifying tales about your mom’s cousin’s best friend’s brother who gave birth in the car while stranded in 4 feet of snow.

With all this talk about scary pregnancy issues, why don’t we know more about Hyperemesis Gravidarum? Especially since, in my opinion, it’s the worst pregnancy symptom out there.

When I got my positive pregnancy test (all six of them!) I was thrilled! And I’d be lying if I said all those horror stories didn’t cross my mind the minute I saw the positive, but the joy of that little pink plus sign was worth so much more than the worry of crazy symptoms and birth stories.

At 5 weeks and 3 days, I experienced my first episode of morning sickness. It was early morning and it came on so suddenly. I was sick all over the floor of my shower, then again, 30 minutes later in a travel mug in my car. As I drove myself home that evening, I was green. I had thrown up ten times that day! I was starting to feel better though, so I made the egg sandwich dinner I was craving, and enjoyed the evening with my husband. As soon as we went to bed, the sickness was back. I spend the entire night throwing up. It was clear that “morning” sickness was now “evening” sickness, and it was still kicking my butt.

By the end of the week, I had been sick more than 12 times a day for four days straight and I was in the ER with a drip, trying to get fluids back into my system. Over the next 4 weeks this happened 2 more times, and my OB started talking about Hyperemesis Gravidarum. I was losing weight and my doctor was concerned. I was on my second prescription for an anti- nausea medicine and nothing was working — I had never been so ill in my life. I was in and out of the hospital, getting injections and IVs, constantly throwing up, often times convulsing so hard that I’d pee on myself! My throat was so sore for weeks and for a while there was even blood in my vomit.

To be honest though, my case of HG wasn’t nearly as bad as some others. For one thing, I didn’t have to have any long stays in the hospital, like Kate Middleton did. And around 20 weeks we finally found a medicine, Zofran, that seemed to do the trick, and I went from throwing up 10-15 times a day, to only 4 or 5. During my second trimester I had a couple of weeks where everything was under control and I was able to manage. There were a few days during my pregnancy during which I didn’t throw up at all!

However, around 32 weeks my HG came back with a vengeance. It was as if my body became used to the Zofran and it just stopped working. I was put on a modified bed rest and told to watch my liquid intake very carefully. I was getting dehydrated often and having light contractions because of it. Throughout my pregnancy my midwife had sent me for growth scans to keep an eye on our baby and make sure he was thriving. At 34 weeks and 4 days we had one that was concerning. Our fluid levels were lower than average, and we were sent to Labor and Delivery for some fluids. Then, at the next week’s appointment, we had another scan and this time fluid was at half of the average amount and our baby wasn’t moving much.

Again, we were sent to labor and delivery for three bags of fluids. When I left that day, my amniotic fluid level was at a 6. The next day we were called to come back and for a recheck. I was still throwing up a few times a day, but I had been pumping myself full of water and only moving to go to the bathroom, so I was confident that everything was alright, despite the fact that baby wasn’t moving too much.

When we got in and did the scan, we found that our fluid level was now at a 2. But the most concerning factor was that baby hadn’t grown at all since our scan at 33 weeks 6 days. It was time to induce. We headed home, gathered our bags, ready to return to the hospital that night.

As if my body knew it was time to get my baby out, my labor started while we were in the car. I was having contractions that were painful and my water broke the next morning. Fortunately, I wasn’t getting sick that much while I was in labor. Though, I did almost get sick in my poor midwives face while pushing! I was in labor for 10 hours and I only pushed three times. After that, my sweet boy was in my arms, looking with such a confused face at his daddy and me! He was small, considered a late-term preemie, but he was safe.

Not to be stopped, my HG continued for about a week after I gave birth. The pregnancy hormones were leaving my body and taking my extreme sickness with it. But when I had my baby in my arms none of it mattered anymore. I’m not even sure when I last threw up! HG made my pregnancy so hard at times, but having a beautiful little boy to love on somehow makes you forget all of that!

Did you suffer from morning sickness during your pregnancy?

Plus, more from The Bump:

Is Zofran Safe for Pregnant Women? New Study Says…

What Causes Morning Sickness?

Kate Middleton Has Hyperemesis Gravidarum — All About the Scary Condition

Seems like the world exploded in joy today when news of Kate Middleton’s pregnancy made its rounds through the media. But one person who’s probably not smiling right now is Kate, who, according to the palace’s statement is suffering from hyperemesis gravidarum (or HG, as many pregnant women not-so-lovingly call it) and has been hospitalized.

HG is being referred to in the media today as “severe morning sickness,” but women who’ve lived through the condition say it’s much, much worse than that wording implies. Vomiting from HG can result in dehydration and dangerous weight loss. The condition can also cause extreme fatigue, fainting, headaches, decrease in urination, low blood pressure and rapid heart rate. And the sickness can last through the entire pregnancy — not just the first trimester, like run-of-the-mill morning sickness usually does.

Many women with HG (like Kate) may need to be hospitalized to receive IV fluids and anti-nausea medication, and for some, treatment doesn’t work at all. See what a few Bumpies have to say about HG:

“So much information out there about HG (now that Princess Kate has it) is WRONG. I KEEP reading, ‘it’s basically extreme morning sickness.’ No, it’s so much more than that! … I had obsessive thoughts about dying when I had HG in the early months before getting adequate care.”

“I was very sick in the beginning when I found out I was pregnant, and thought it was bearable and then by eight weeks all hell broke lose. I can’t keep water down let alone my prenatal vitamins. I’m constantly nauseated and vomiting is pretty much constant. I feel like I’ve ruined my throat from vomiting so much (lost weight and lot of blood when vomiting).  After going to the ER and complaining like crazy to my doctor they finally signed me up for IV fluids through a cancer center, that way I didn’t have to keep going into the ER. The IV fluids haven’t seemed to help or any of the anti-nausea meds they’ve given me. At 12 weeks (last week) I was able to get some food down which really helped, but it’s like my entire GI track has stopped working. And I still feel terrible….I haven’t really left the house in weeks. I try but even walking the dog slowly around the block is too much for me. It’s like I’m constantly trashed I’m so dizzy I feel I could faint at any minute.”

“I had this with my first, and it was significantly worse with my second. I was hospitalized and on home health care with IVs and a Zofran pump for several months. We are currently planning to have a third baby, and I am terrified of going through it again.”

“I was on three different medications that I injected into my IV line that I had all the time. I had a backpack IV bag so I could leave the house with my IV pole. Unfortunately, there wasn’t that much that helped me and I was sick until I delivered.”

“People treated me like it was regular morning sickness! Even after I dropped 35 and 40 pounds and looked [starved]. I still have the mad desire the choke people who tell me to just eat some crackers and drink ginger ale, and that they went through it too… the best thing you can do for your baby is have a doctor who recognizes this as something serious.”

Read more about Hyperemesis Gravidarum

Dealing with HG? Check out these resources for help and support:

HER Foundation

Beyond Morning Sickness

Have you experienced HG? What advice do you have for other women going through it?

In news that’s sure to excite your partner, a psychologist is theorizing that the cause of — and cure for — morning sickness is none other than your baby’s father. More specifically, his semen.

According to Slate, Gordon Gallup of SUNY-Albany Gallup argues that since half of a baby’s genetic makeup belongs to its father, it’s possible that a woman’s body treats that DNA as a foreign substance. So the mother experiences an immune reaction that involves vomiting and nausea, the same way it would if you caught a virus. Luckily, Gallup feels that the cause and the cure are both one and the same: (you guessed it) semen.

Although the theory has yet to be tested (read: nowhere near proven), Gallup speculates that to prevent symptoms of nausea during the first trimester, a woman should frequently expose herself to her partner’s semen in order to develop a higher tolerance to his genetic makeup. In other words, the more often a woman is inseminated leading up to and during pregnancy (he’s talking regular sex and oral), the less sick she’ll feel.

We had a good laugh about this theory — and are wondering if Gallup has a wife who’s now in the early stages of pregnancy — but there are plans to actually study it. Plus, there are more interesting tidbits:

Gallup says that a woman’s reaction to her mate’s DNA is a maternal adaptation that favors the best potential suitor. So we should interpret hugging the toilet bowl as a sign that we chose the wrong husband?

He also says that women with little to no sexual contact or those who use condoms are more susceptible to feeling queasy. And also predicts that women with two or more children should experience lessened symptoms of morning sickness with each consecutive pregnancy.

Of course, we’ve got to wonder, if you’re feeling really sick, how you’re going to get into the mood. But if you’re desperate to feel better, a roll in the hay might be worth a shot. Of course, we’ll remain skeptical until we see the results of Gallup’s study.

How was your experience with morning sickness? What do you think of this theory?

Plus, more from The Bump:

Foods That Ease Morning Sickness

What Causes Morning Sickness?

Sick of Being Sick