LaNisa Allen was a new mom, trying to juggle nursing (and likely sleep deprivation, and postpartum recovery) with her job at Totes/Isotoner Corporation in Ohio. Her four-month-old son, Travian, ate every three hours, which meant that in order to keep her supply up, she needed to take frequent pumping breaks from her manual labor position. Unfortunately, her employer was only willing to offer her a single pumping break, five hours into her shift. By that point, she was engorged, leaking and in pain. When LaNisa began taking extra breaks, to pump for 15 minutes hear and there in the bathroom, she was fired.

Plenty of pregnant women plan on breastfeeding their child throughout their first year of life. Why not? It’s free, it’s portable, it helps you drop the baby weight and there’s no bottle warmer required.

According to a recent Michigan State University study, half of affluent women who plan to nurse for a year are successful in meeting their goal. Now compare that with the 1.8 percent of low-income women like LaNisa who are able to say the same. The reason? Mostly, it’s a case of a lack of resources to help these new moms tackle the breastfeeding obstacles that come their way. When money is tight, dialing up a lactation consultant might not feel like a feasible option; it’s hard to pump at a job where you are earning $8 an hour… or when a $300 pump is out of the question altogether.

That’s why I was so excited to hear about this new partnership between the Boppy Company and Nurse-Family Get One, Give One Partnership (NFP), a national nonprofit organization that helps improve the lives of low-income, first-time moms — many of whom are teen moms – and their babies. I am absolutely in love with this idea. A nursing pillow is more than just some cotton filled with stuffing — it’s comfort, encouragement, intimacy, nourishment and dedication. Formula babies get all of these from their moms too, of course, but formula costs between $1400 and $2800 per year; for a low-income mother, breastfeeding a child could be the difference between being able to comfortably shop for groceries one week versus needing to scrape by. Breastfed kids are also less likely to be obese as adults, be diagnosed with allergies, leukemia or diabetes, or die from SIDS, leading to further health savings.

Our daughter nursed for 13 months — I would have loved to go longer but some personal medical issues got in the way — and it was one of the most meaningful and enjoyable experiences of my life. (Yup, I was that mom.) My husband and I are fortunate to be in a position where we could have afforded formula if we needed it, but were lucky enough that my milk came in, our baby latched well and my job as a freelance writer offered me the flexibility needed to make it work. In my opinion, anything that helps remove roadblocks to nursing is a winnerand this program qualifies.

I don’t condone lying. Honesty is always the best policy, right?  Weeeell, I may have been fudging a few things lately… um… to our pediatrician. I know, I know, I’m a terrible mom. Or so I thought — until I talked to other moms who admitted to telling a few little white lies to their pediatricians too. Then I thought, why? Why did I feel that I couldn’t be honest with the one person I’ve elected to care for our child’s medical needs?

I’m as familiar with the conventional wisdom as the next momma when it comes to baby care. I did have the standard nine months to prepare, after all. On top of that, I got all the little baggies full of pamphlets, brochures, samples and free magazine subscriptions from the moment my pee stick said “Yay!” Each little piece of propaganda fit together in an all-encompassing guide on how to take care of an infant. I plowed through them all. I could have recited proper sleep schedules, feeding schedules and techniques by age and rank. The problem? Baby’s don’t always go by the book.

At our very first appointment, our pediatrician used a lot of the phrase, “He should be [...]” and “He needs to be [...].” By the time we left, I felt certain I had all the instructions I needed to put this little guy together… er …wait. He was already assembled — I’d already spent nine months doing that. So wait, how long should his nap intervals be?  Black and tar-like. Yeah, that was it. No, that’s poo color. What was the nap thing?  ”Hon! Where’d you put those napping instructions?” The point is, I left feeling like I had a set of instructions that had to be followed precisely or the world would surely self-destruct.

Fast forward:  Our son, despite our best efforts (honestly!) to have him sleep in the bassinet beside our bed, would not sleep. He just wouldn’t. I’m not talking normal-newborn-waking-up-in-the-night stuff. I’m talking would. not. sleep. After a week or so, we decided to try co-sleeping. It was fabulous (and has been ever since). It was a personal choice, made with careful consideration, and it worked for our family.

What does this have to do with lies and deceit?

Enter lie #1:

Doc: “How is he sleeping?”
Me: “Great!  I can’t complain at all.”
Doc: “Sleeping through the night? On his back?”
Me: “Yep.” (All true so far!)
Doc: “Where does he sleep?”
Me: [oh, $%#@] ”In his bassinet next to the bed.”
Doc: “Good, good.”

I knew what the pediatrician wanted to hear, so I just blurted it out like I was playing Catch Phrase after too many glasses of wine. I felt like I had a giant neon “liar” sign blinking from my forehead, but he moved on to feeding.

Doc: “How often is he nursing?”
Me: [damn, this test is hard!] “Uh, every hour and a half maybe?”
Doc: “Ok, mom you’re spoiling him.  He should be eating every 3-4 hours at three months. He’s a snacker.”
Me: “Oh.”

Here’s the thing: By month three, I’d stopped tracking and charting every last feeding, poo color, and nap time down to the second. We’d already had a routine that felt natural and everyone was happy. Besides, I didn’t think you could really “spoil” a 3-month old. At our 6-month appointment, my husband and I were both there. Thankfully the feeding intervals didn’t come up that time, because I was prepared to lie again. Then, the questions started flying before I realized… I’d forgotten to brief my husband on my little ruse.

Doc: “Where is he sleeping.”
Husband: “In bed with us.”
Me: [Noooooooo!]

There may have been a nervous laugh or two as I sheepishly concurred (red-faced and pit-stained by now) with what my husband had so easily disclosed: the truth. And guess what? The world did not self-destruct. Our pediatrician did not bite me. But I still left questioning my position on co-sleeping, feeding times, and a lot of other things. Then I realized, our way was working just fine. I was getting all in a tither over things that didn’t really need fixing. Medically, our son was actually ahead of the game. The doc had even complimented his advanced motor skills. It was the expectation that was killing me — expectations set by by all the “should be’s” and “need to be’s”. I didn’t want to be scolded or judged, so I lied.

Should I have told the truth from the beginning? Probably. Are expectations placed upon new parents sometimes such that we feel the need to fib? Definitely.

Are you guilty of telling white lies to your doctor?

Plus, more from The Bump:

Baby Milestones: What Baby Will Do When

Infant Development

10 Weird But Totally Normal Things About Your Newborn

Did you all have a happy Mother’s Day? Mine was pretty good: pancakes and handmade cards and sticky hugs, followed by all the usual sibling squabbles, house-trashing and running out of milk and patience. Life with little ones isn’t exactly a day at the spa, you know? But I didn’t think much of it until I went on Facebook.

As I clicked through update after update about breakfast in bed, bouquets of roses, mimosas, picnics and doting families, I started to feel worse and worse. My husband’s homemade pancakes paled in comparison to brunch at a fancy restaurant. (Partly because we were out of maple syrup… again.) And why were her kids smiling and wearing matching outfits while mine wouldn’t even agree to be photographed together? And how did she get away with leaving the kids at home to spend a whole weekend with girlfriends when MY husband couldn’t even grasp the concept of letting me sleep in? (Hint for dads: You have to close the bedroom door when you get up and lock the kids out! Otherwise, they are dive-bombing us in our beds the minute your back is turned.)

This Facebook-induced angst is a real thing, something many moms I know suffer from. Here’s my two cents on how to handle it if social media is sending you into Negative Nelly territory. Remember:

What you see is not the whole story. Most people use social media to portray a carefully chosen image of their lives. You’re seeing the highlights, not the blooper reel. Maybe that adorable color-coordinated family photo was preceded by tantrums and threats. Maybe that mom made brunch reservations herself rather than rely on her husband to read her mind. (Hmmm… now there’s a thought.)

Sometimes people have an agenda. I wonder about those couples who post flowery love notes to each other in public forums. Are they really that happy and perfect, or are they trying to prove something? I can’t help but think of a couple I knew like that… who are now divorced.

“No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.” Good point, Eleanor Roosevelt. Did looking at other people’s supposedly fun, fabulous Mother’s Days have to make me feel worse about mine? Did I need to compare their lives to my own? Did I need to be on Facebook at all when I had a rare day at home with my whole family when I (supposedly) didn’t even have to do any housework? No, I did not. I could close my laptop, cuddle up with my imperfect, non-color-coordinated children, and enjoy the moment for what it was. And then give myself a break for getting irritated when the moment passed and they asked me what was for dinner. (Asked ME. On Mother’s Day!)

So that’s exactly what I did. We ordered in, by the way. And I left the dishes for my husband. Maybe I should thank him on Facebook.

Does social media ever make you feel bad about your life?

Plus, more from The Bump:

Plus, more from The Bump:

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Here’s to Having it All: Balance Your Mom Life and Career

The Truth About Mommy Wars

In a beautifully heartfelt, honest and powerful op-ed for The New York Times, actress and six-time mama Angelina Jolie reveals her decision to undergo a double mastectomy: motherhood. The star, mom to Maddox, Pax, Zahara, Shiloh, Vivienne and Knox, details that she carries the  “faulty” gene, BRCA1, which sharply increases her risk of developing breast cancer and ovarian cancer.

Jolie writes that her children have often asked if they will lose her to the same illness that took away their grandmother, Jolie’s mom, Marcheline Bertrand. It was this that prompted the actress to undergo a preventative double mastectomy after genetic tests revealed that she had a heightened risk of developing breast cancer. The first of the surgeries began in February and on April 27th, Jolie finished up the last of the three months worth of medical procedures involved with the mastectomies.

Coming forward to share her story in a first-hand narrative, she stated that she wanted other women to benefit from her experience, writing that “today it is possible to find out through a blood test whether you are highly susceptible to breast and ovarian cancer, and then take action.”

“I wanted to write this,” she says, “to tell other women that the decision to have a mastectomy was not easy. But it is one I am very happy that I made. My chances of developing breast cancer have dropped from 87 percent to under 5 percent.” But the proudest moment for Jolie comes in telling her children that they don’t need to fear they will lose their own mother to breast cancer. It’s similar to the feelings that new mom Kara DioGuardi shared when she revealed that she also underwent the same preventative surgery to ensure a happier, healthier life with her son, Greyson.

When discussing her scars and the impact the surgery has had on her children, Jolie writes that they see “nothing that makes them uncomfortable. They can see my small scars and that’s it. Everything else is just Mommy, the same as she always was. And they know that I love them and will do anything to be with them as long as I can.” Which I find absolutely heartwarming and heartbreaking: how terrifying it must be for her children to wonder if their mommy will be gone too soon, before they’re ready, but also how touching that their mother has done all that she can to make sure that won’t happen.

What Jolie’s op-ed also goes on to show is just how entirely selfless motherhood can be. Of course, the decision she made was made as much for herself as for her children and her partner, Brad Pitt, but what if Jolie had not lost her mother so early on? It’s in our nature to want to keep ourselves healthy for as long as possible and to enjoy life to the fullest — but bringing children into this world is a whole ‘nother responsibility. That sense of loss that Jolie felt is something that she clearly never wants her own children to feel. And it’s not just because you’re a mother that you feel that. I believe it’s a feminine instinct. Any woman with a mother of her own, who is a mother, who has a sister or a best friend that’s a mother can see why this decision is ultimately a no-brainer.

After reading Jolie’s exclusively personal story, I found myself wondering if I would be able to take the same steps — as I’m sure all women and mothers are asking themselves. The answer for me was, without a shadow of a doubt, yes, I would; so I find Jolie’s honesty all the more important. It is said, so often, that there aren’t enough positive role models around for our growing daughters; that they need women with substance, women with honor, women who value their worth, their bodies and above all else, themselves. Say what you will about Angelina Jolie but in this moment, there is no finer role model for our daughters and frankly, no finer role model for ourselves. 

Additionally, for those who wonder how she feels as a woman after having the surgeries, Jolie adds, “On a personal note, I do not feel any less of a woman. I feel empowered that I made a strong choice that in no way diminishes my femininity.” Again — I 100 percent agree.

But Jolie’s note is as much written to women as it is to mothers. She pens, “For any woman reading this, I hope it helps you to know you have options. I want to encourage every woman, especially if you have a family history of breast or ovarian cancer, to seek out the information and medical experts who can help you through this aspect of your life, and to make your own informed choices.”

And if there is something to be taken away from Jolie’s difficult decision, it’s just as she says: Life comes with many challenges. The ones that should not scare us are the ones we can take on and take control of.

Moms, weigh in: Would you be able to make this type of decision?

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Could supplementing formula for baby boost breastfeeding rates among new moms? According to the latest study, researchers say yes!

The small study, published in the journal Pediatrics suggests that giving newborns a little bit of formula actually helps boost breastfeeding rates because the formula “primer” may help give new moms the assurance they need to pursue breastfeeding. Researchers from the University of California, San Francisco, followed 40 infant babies who had lost at least 5% of their birth weight by the time they were 36 hours old.

Though the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) notes that weight loss in an infant’s first days is typical (because they are becoming accustomed to feedings), the lead author Dr. Valerie Flaherman chose to focus the study on babies who’d lost 5% of their birth weight shortly after birth because further studies suggest that infants who lose 5% of their weight within 36 hours of life are much more likely to continue to lose weight.

During the course of the study, Flaherman and her team of researchers assigned half of the babies to receive two teaspoons of formula after each breastfeeding. These babies received formula via a syringe babies would not be confused transitioning from breast to bottle. Mothers were asked to discontinue the formula supplementation once their milk supply appeared, which generally took two to five days postbirth. The other half of mothers exclusively breastfed their babies (unless the doctor ordered formula).

Here’s what they found:

At one-week old, 10% of the formula group was still using formula in some way as part of their feeding strategy for baby, this was compared to 47% of the group originally assigned to breastfeed but who added formula. But at three-months old, 79% of the formula group was exclusively breastfeeding, which was 42% more than the moms who who were originally instructed to exclusively breastfeed baby. Of the findings Flaherman believes that introducing a small amount of formula early on (then withdrawing it) helped mothers feel secure that their babies weren’t hungry and losing weight in their first days of life. It’s likely, Flaherman suspects, that this gave them the confidence to go on exclusively breastfeeding baby.

“Using that little bit of formula earlier really seems to have had a big effect on whether babies are getting formula at one week,” Flaherman noted. “We wanted to try to find an early intervention we could do with these babies and moms to help them continue breast-feeding. I was surprised the effect was this big.”

Generally in the U.S. most mothers begin by breastfeeding, but only 40% of moms are still breastfeeding at six months and only 20% of moms make it to one year — a milestone that the AAP recommends moms reach.

Though Flaherman and her team are amazed by the effect of the study, not everyone shares their surprise. Dr. Kathleen Marinelli, chair-elect of the U.S. Breastfeeding committee, noted that, “This study goes against everything that’s been published for several years now from very reliable clinicians and researchers about the potential hazards of supplementing exclusively breast-feeding babies with formula. They’re flying in the face of years of research here and doing so rather glibly, stating that this is the new way to look at things.”

But Flaherman is the first to admit that the study’s results are not necessarily true (or applicable) for all babies. She said, “This isn’t something we think all people should do. It is just a potential took for moms to consider using if they think it  might be helpful.” She plans to now find a way to help more mothers breastfeed for as long as possible.

Of the work that’s left to be done, she said, “It’s kind of crazy that only 20% of people reach the recommended duration of breast-feeding. Different approaches to supporting breast-feeding may work better for different people.”

Did you exclusively breastfeed, or were there times you supplemented with formula?

Plus, more from The Bump:

A Smart Start to Breastfeeding

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A shocking new study completed by Swedish researchers and published in the journal Pediatrics found that parents who pick up a dropped pacifier and suck it clean may be helping their infants become better germ fighters.

Crazy, right? We didn’t believe it at first either! But you can’t ignore the research. Here’s what they found:

Researchers in Sweden studied 184 infants at the age of four months old. Scientists collected saliva samples from each infant to determine which times of bacteria resided in baby’s guts. At six months old, parents were asked to report on whether their infants used pacifiers and how moms and dads cleaned them. At ages 18 and 36 months old, researchers checked back in with parents to see if the babies had developed allergies and when their first symptoms appeared.

By 18 months old, 25% of babies whose parents did not clean baby’s pacifier with their own saliva had eczema, 15% had developed some type of food allergy and 5% had been diagnosed with asthma. Compared to babies whose parents did suck baby’s pacifier clean, these infants were one-third less likely to develop eczema. At the age of 3 years old, these children were still less likely to develop eczema than their peers.

Beyond just cleaning off baby’s pacifier, researchers also looked for correlations between how a mother delivered baby and her tendency to suck the pacifiers clean. Moms who gave birth vaginally tended to favor the cleaning practice more than C-section moms. In a previous study, researchers concluded that vaginally-delivered babies are already exposed to more maternal bacteria as they traveled through the birth canal.

From the current study, researchers found that infants whose parents used their tongues to clean off baby’s binky were more likely to have different strands of bacteria, with more helpful bacteria in their intestines, than babies whose parents did not use their tongue to clean off baby’s bink. “Parental sucking of their infant’s pacifier is associated with a reduced risk of allergy development and an altered oral flora in their child,” researchers noted.

One of the main concerns of the study was whether or not parents who chose to sanitize baby’s binky with their own saliva were passing on more germs and harmful infections to their little ones, but it turns out that it was just the opposite. Researchers found that all of the babies involved in the study developed an average of one and a half colds in the first six months of life.
What do you think, mom and dad? How should you clean baby’s pacifier?

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All Your New Mom Questions Answered!

A new study published today in the journal JAMA Pediatrics concluded that children living in the United States are more likely to have allergies than children born elsewhere but now living in the United States.

Researchers involved in the study examined data from more than 91,600 children under the age of 18 who had taken part in the 2007-08 National Survey of Children’s Health. The analysis revealed that children born outside the country were significantly less likely to have allergies, including asthma, eczema, hay fever and food allergies.

Although, the risk of certain allergies among foreign-born children does increase after they have lived in the U.S. for a decade. Researchers also found that foreign-born children whose parents were also born outside of the U.S, were much less likely to have allergies, compared to their American born counterparts whose parents were born here in the U.S.

Dr. Jonathan Silverberg of St. Luke’s-Roosevelt Hospital Center in New York concluded, “Foreign-born Americans have significantly lower risk of allergic disease than U.S.-born Americans. However, foreign-born Americans develop increased risk for allergic disease with prolonged residence in the United States.

The most interesting finding during the study, however, was that researchers found that the risk of certain allergies among foreign-born children actually increases after they’ve lived here for a decade.

Do your children have allergies? How do you deal?

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Allergies During Pregnancy

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From April 29th to May 5th, we’re celebrating Screen Free Week!

The annual celebration, marked by the Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood (CCFC), encourages families to turn off the screen and turn on life! The CCFC created Screen Free Week as a creative response to growing public heath concerns toward children’s unprecedented time using television, computers, video games and smart phones. The opportunity to unplug for a week across the nation gives families a chance to redefine their children’s media habits and also prompts us all to establish a healthier and more sustainable tradition of media consumption — both inside and out of the classroom!

Here’s to unplugging, unwinding and enjoying our time together!

How will you and your family celebrate Screen Free Week?

Try out our Bumpie-approved tips:

Smart Ways to Play With (and Entertain!) Baby

Keep Baby Engaged — Without the TV!

25 Amazing Things to Do With Babies and Toddlers

Toddler Craft Ideas

It’s very hard to put into words how, as mothers, we react to tragic events — especially those involving the senseless deaths of children. Lately I’ve been thinking about how these tragedies, in their unfortunate frequency, have begun to shape me as a mother.

Last October, in New York City, little Lulu and Leo Krim were the victims of a trusted nanny who brutally murdered them for no apparent reason. Their mother, Marina, was returning home, as she would on any other day, and found this gruesome scene in her apartment. I still remember the heart-pounding moment I read the news story, frantically wracking my brain to think about what I was doing at the exact moment Marina got home. My heart stopped and I felt my face flushing. I had just bid good night to my own nanny and was a enjoying cupcake surprise party with my kids — because it was my birthday. Thinking of these two dramatically opposite events happening, simultaneously, in the same city, was too much for me to process. How will birthdays, and every day, ever be the same for the Krims?

Then, in December, there was Newtown. Just that simple word tells an entire story. I was home recovering from surgery when the breaking news was announced. My heart stopped. I said aloud to myself, “am I reading this correctly? How could anyone shoot up a kindergarten classroom?” My son is in kindergarten. I read about parents awaiting word on the whereabouts of their missing children. My breath quickened as I kept checking my watch, wondering when my nanny would be home because all I wanted to do, at that moment, was hug and feel my kids so I could breathe again. I thought about the indescribable grief that was now overwhelming mothers who only 30 minutes prior were going about their normal day. Could they remember the last thing they said to their kids that morning?

Then came the news of the tragic bombing at the Boston Marathon and the announcement that one of the first victims was an 8-year-old boy, Martin Richard. Martin was there with his family to cheer on his dad who was running the race. I imagine how proud he must have felt clapping his hands and checking his watch, awaiting his dad at the finish line. My heart hurts.

I don’t want tragedy to be the only thing that reminds me to live in the moment with my kids, but, in these unfortunate reminders are important lessons in parenting. When my kids are driving me nuts whining or hitting each other and I’m using all my mommy power not to completely flip out and yell, I stop for a moment and think of Marina Krim, who would give anything to hear her kids arguing over a toy. Every time I put my son on the school bus, I stop for a moment and think of Newtown and remind myself that I should never — no matter how rushed — miss a good-bye kiss.

And this year, when I’m on the sidelines of the New York City Marathon, clapping my hands to cheer on those amazing runners, I will think of Martin and how lucky I am to be standing alongside my kids, in that moment.

How do you deal with all of these tragedies as a mom? Has it changed the way you parent?

Plus, more from The Bump:

5 Honest Realizations I’ve Had Since Becoming a Mom

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After becoming a mom this past September, I was unpleasantly startled to find that there is a lot of drama out there in the world of moms. Whether it is between the boob or the bottle, bed-sharing or cry-it-out, the battles go on and on. It’s exhausting. Can we even coexist amidst all of the opinions, research supported decisions, and varying parenting choices?

At first my response was no, we cannot coexist. I must find like-minded women to surround myself with. I was in a panic to befriend women who thought and viewed parenting in the same ways that I did. I thought that this was going to be the best and possibly the only way to approach mommy friendships. Guess what? I was wrong.

While there is extreme value in having like-minded friends to support you, it is also essential that we learn how to relate and navigate with others who have different approaches and perspectives. Why do we have to learn to do this? In all honesty, we do not have a choice. Whether we like it or not (and we probably don’t), we are going to come in contact with parents who approach parenting differently. We cannot control what others may say to us but we can control how we chose to react.

React With Confidence

I didn’t notice how insecure I was as a mom until my son was given a helmet to treat plagiocephaly. Honestly, I felt a lot of guilt and shame that his head had a funny shape. I felt like it was my fault. I also feared that people would judge me, or worse, judge my beautiful baby because he looked different.

After working through those feelings I realized that I was choosing a perspective that fueled feelings of guilt and shame over one that fueled confidence. So you know what I decided? I decided that I am a friggin’ awesome mom. I am the best mom for my son. I have chosen to stand with pride when I do what is right for my family whether it is a medical decision or any other choice we intentionally make. And in that same vein: You are the best thing your kid has going for them. What you decide works for your family, maybe not your neighbors or that other mom at church, but when it comes to your family, you rock.

We need to remember that every family’s needs vary which causes them to choose different ways of caring for their children. When you put life into that perspective it makes relating to other moms a bit easier and once you decide you are an awesome mom, no one can take that away from you.

React With Grace

Once we come to terms with the fact that people parent differently because each family is different, life gets a lot simpler. However, there will always be something that rubs you the wrong way. I have decided to approach these situations with grace (or at least give it my best effort). If a mom says something that I am super offended by a couple of times in regards to a parenting choice I’ve made, I have decided to brush it off. If there is repeated incidences of this, I have decided to have a quick chat with her, let her know that it rubbed me the wrong way and that I hope we can approach the topic differently next time. Letting your confidence show by letting the small stuff go and standing up when things are really out of line can keep your friendships going strong without suffering through uncomfortable comments that can feed into the “Mommy Wars.”

Keep Your Mind Open

I grapple a lot with keeping my mind open as a parent especially after spending hours pouring over literature and research to make a decision. Then pops in another mom who has decided to do the exact opposite of what I have decided on! All of my instincts tell me to shout, “NO! You are making the wrong decision,” but honestly, she is probably thinking the same thing about me. Rather than looking at the situation as a right or wrong thing, we can learn from each other. This doesn’t mean that one of you has to change your decision, but you might get the chance to learn something about the other side of things that you never knew. You also might gain more respect for that mama, too. Odds are she didn’t make that decision thinking that it was going to negatively impact her child and neither did you.

The other side to open-mindedness is remembering that there isn’t always a “choice” in some matters. This one comes into play a lot with the breastfeeding vs. formula battle (or stay at home mom vs. working mom). People have their opinions on what is “right”, but sometimes it wasn’t a choice for that mom. Sometimes we are forced to make choices as a parent, and we definitely need grace and open minds when it comes to that.

How do you maintain your “mom” friendships despite the differences?

Plus, more from The Bump:

7 Secrets All Mamas Need to Survive the Mommy Bullies

Here’s to Having it All: Balance Your Mom Life and Career

The Truth About Mommy Wars