I thought I’d prepared for it all. After you’ve read so many books, articles, blogs, podcast after podcast, YouTube videos, and relentless interrogation of Preggos before me, I figured there would be no surprises. There were.

Some, I was ready for, but others, well… you’ll see:

1. The Postpartum Bathroom Experience
Triple P, I call it. Now, I can’t say I wasn’t warned about this. A good friend of mine warned me, “Don’t leave the hospital until you poop.” I blushed over the phone, not quite sure what she’d meant. She explained it was painful after a vaginal birth, and it was a struggle.We moved on from the conversation that left me, well, a little shaken, but I quickly forgot about it. Ladies, listen up: I solemnly swear that my own PPP was ten-fold more painful than giving birth to my 10 lb. 1 oz. son. There. Ye be warned.

I remember a nurse offering me a stool softener tablet to “help things along.” I popped the little pill. I wish she’d been a little more forthcoming and less nonchalant about that little red tablet. I wish she’d laid a hand on my shoulder, looked me in the eye, and said, “Good luck, honey.  You’re gonna need it.” For me, it took four days to finally happen. I ended up crying and begged my husband to call the nurse at the hospital. She told me to take two softeners a day and drink more water, but it was inevitable. I had to just get through it. You will too, I promise. Now that you know, you can start preparing. Drink lots and lots and lots of water and maybe try a stool softener or two with your docs permission before the birth.

2. From Fashionista to Flatulista
After you are stitched up and healed in your nether regions, things may not be quite the same for awhile… or ever. I can only speak for myself, currently eight months postpartum, but… here goes… I… I toot sometimes, ok? There, I said it! I’m not talking about the kind that all people do as human beings. I’m talking about the kind that is embarrassing because you can’t hold it in and it’s complete with sound effects, the likes of which make little preteen boys laugh. I don’t know what happened to my whoo-ha muscles, but to this day I’ve had a few embarrassing moments. I usually just continue on as if nothing has happened in the vain hope that I’ve fooled those around me into thinking they didn’t hear what they just heard. Alas, it’s human nature. What’s life without a few moments to look back and laugh at? Besides, I don’t think this affects everyone. Maybe you’ll be one of the lucky ones!

3. You might smell a little worse… Temporarily.
This was another unexpected treat. For a good three to four months postpartum, no deodorant would suffice. I tried three kinds and stopped short of going into the doctor for prescription antiperspirant. It was like going through puberty all over again. Thankfully, this little phenom called it quits and I’m back on good ole’ fashioned unscented deodorant.

4. You may kiss some of your shoes goodbye.
I thought this was an old wives tale, but there were a couple of pairs of shoes I ended up getting rid of because they were just too small even months after birth. Trust me when I tell you they weren’t tight — they were too small. You know those shoes that you probably shouldn’t have bought because your toe is right at the end, but they were on sale and super cute, so you thought, “Oh, what the hell!?” Those are the ones you probably won’t be able to wear anymore. Bonus: new shoes!

Still, I’d chuck out all my shoes and raise my smelly armpits proudly to do it all again. These are just small things compared to a list of a thousand amazing things about your baby. I just wish I’d known, that’s all.

How did your body surprise you after baby?

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Post Birth Recovery

Yesterday, our hearts were broken as we learned that a Manhattan mom strapped her 10-month-old son to her chest and leaped out of the window of her apartment building.

After falling eight stories to the ground, the only marks baby Keston has to show are several scratches on his face. He was strapped to his moms chest and bounced off of her as they made contact with the ground. His mom, unfortunately, did not survive the fall. Cynthia Wachenheim left behind a suicide note. In it, the new mom said that she was a “bad mother.”

Wachenheim was reportedly convinced that her baby boy had cerebral palsy, though it is reported that doctors never had reason to believe anything was wrong with baby Keston. Wachenheim was also on medication and going to therapy once a week.

The heartbreaking news hits home for mothers and fathers all over the country and also sheds light on the importance of seeking help if you’re feeling the baby blues or battling postpartum depression. There is no shame — and should be no embarrassment — for moms who feel that they need help navigating the first months of motherhood.

At The Bump, we want all moms to know feel comfortable coming forward and talking about their pre- and postnatal struggles. Our community boards are a safe, respectful place where mothers can get advice, tips and even vent to other moms across the country.

For further information on postpartum depression and the baby blues, check out:

Postpartum Depression

When Does Postpartum Depression Start? And How Do I Know If I’m at Risk?

Baby Blues or Postpartum Depression?

Why You Hate Your Husband (After Baby Arrives)

Melissa Rycroft Opens Up About Postpartum Depression

And for details on the postpartum recovery experience, visit our Postpartum Recovery.

A new study published in the journal JAMA Psychiatry reveals that 1 in every 7 women suffer from postpartum depression.

The study followed 10,000 women in Pittsburgh for a year and half after giving birth and found that 22% suffered from depression. The women were asked to take part in short telephone interviews four to six weeks after they had delivered their babies.

University of Pittsburgh psychiatrist Dorothy Sit, one of the study’s investigators, said, “We asked them whether they had been able to laugh and see the funny side of things,” and they also probed new moms about their “ability to look forward with enjoyment to things, whether or not they’re blaming themselves necessarily when things go wrong, feeling anxious or worried for no good reason, being scared or panicky for no good reason.”

From the questions, researchers found that 14 percent of the new moms were at an increased risk of postpartum depression, which follows the conclusion that previous studies have drawn. The only difference was that according to this new study, the home visits following the telephone interviews proved that in many cases, the symptoms of postpartum depression where very serious.

“We discovered 20 percent had suicidal thoughts — these are thoughts of death, thoughts of wanting to die, not wanting to wake up, just escape,” Sit says. “In fact, some patients with very severe symptoms had made the decision to take their lives.” The scary results have Sit believing that all pregnant women and new moms should be screened to help diagnose the problem sooner, before it gets worse.

One thing the study did not was determine why certain women are more vulnerable to postpartum depression than others. It is likely that genetics, hormonal fluctuations and sleep deprivation all play a role.

NPR spoke with Rebecca Starck, the director of the obstetrics unit at the Cleveland Clinic. Patients at the Cleveland Clinic are routinely screened for depression during their third trimester of pregnancy and once more, after delivering their baby. Of screening the patients as they ready to leave the hospital, she said, “Once they have the baby, before they leave the hospital, I often say, ‘It’s normal to have ups and downs and crying out of the blue. But if you feel like you can’t sleep… or if you feel like you’re in a deep dark hole and you don’t see a light at the end of the tunnel, you may, in fact, be somebody who needs to go on medication or have some counseling.”

Starck is in agreement with Sit and the new research, admitting that screening for postpartum depression symptoms is critical because once women are diagnosed the treatments (individual and group therapy and medication) are incredibly effective. One thing Starck always tells her patients and family members is that “this is out of your control.”

For expectant moms and new moms, it’s important to remember that help is available; you’re not alone and most importantly, you should never be embarrassed (or feel guilty) for asking for help. We’re here for each other!

How did you deal after baby was born?

Plus, more from The Bump:

Can Breastfeeding Help the Baby Blues?

I’m Dealing With the Baby Blues — Help

Why You Hate Your Husband (After Baby Arrives)

Baby’s birth involves a few hundred — no, thousand — feelings for mom! You’re in love, all over again, with a tiny baby you’ve been growing inside of you; you’re nervous; you’re suddenly aware that life is just more than sleeping in on Saturdays and a good manicure. But for some moms, baby’s birth also brings with it tons of feelings of fear, anxiety and sadness.

Moms who experience the baby blues aren’t alone. So many other mothers are experiencing it too, and studies show that that postpartum depression in mothers six weeks after delivery is on the rise.  According to the Journal of Obstetric, Gynecological, and Neonatal Nursing, skin-to-skin contact between baby and mother may be an alternative therapy moms (who wish to avoid taking medication) can try.

During the study, researchers found that moms who provided six hours of skin-to-skin contact in the first week, followed by at least two hours over the course of the next month, reported fewer symptoms of depression. Saliva samples taken from these mothers also recorded lower cortisol levels than mother who did not have skin-to-skin contact with baby.

Another relevant study by the journal Pediatrics found that skin-to-skin contact for even three hours a day reduced infant crying by 43%. The surprising percentage significantly reduces stress for a first time or new mom who is unsure of the best ways to soothe baby.

But the benefits aren’t just for mama –for baby, skin-to-skin contact can help satisfy the need for human contact, as well as promotes body between the infant and mother. Skin-to-skin also release oxytocin in mom, which helps mom and infant attachment and increases the feeling of well-being and relaxation.

Did you experience the baby blues after birth?

Plus, more from The Bump:

Tips for Avoiding Postpartum Depression

Postpartum Depression Treatments?

10 Biggest New Mom Surprises (and How to Deal)

Tears. Quick changes in mood and demeanor. Teeny, tiny things setting me off… these are some of the ways I’ve been reacting to the postpartum hormones.

After writing the other day on my personal blog regarding postpartum emotions, I wanted to take it one step further and really delve into what is typical and normal postpartum.

Many women that I’ve met are uncomfortable even discussing or briefly talking about their emotions during the postpartum period. It seems that in our culture, many women feel that admitting imperfections in ease of adjustment after having a baby is a sign of weakness. Either that, or women believe they will be labeled as having postpartum depression (PPD), at the mere mention of feeling upset.

That, however, should not be the case.

A woman who has just given birth is experiencing massive changes in her body, running off of extremely poor and disconnected sleep and is adjusting to the huge amount of love and bonding hormones rushing through her body and mind. Episodes of crying, frustration, and stress is typical, normal and — most importantly — okay.

As new mothers, the best thing we can do for ourselves is recognize those emotions as being normal and respond to those emotions. Whether that means taking an extra nap during the day while a partner, family member, or friend watches baby, giving yourself the luxury of a hot shower and a warm meal, or just simply spending some time talking with your spouse or a friend about your feelings — these are things you need to do.

When we don’t recognize those emotions and give them time and space to process, resonate, and heal, we put ourselves at risk for further problems. Because just like when you constantly throw your trash bags out into the garage where you can’t see them, they are still going to be waiting there for you the next time you go out to your car.

While feelings of sadness that persist past a reasonable adjustment period, inability to function, or feelings of wanting to hurt yourself or your family are not normal and should be discussed with your doctor, there are early postpartum feelings that are normal and we can help ourselves to get through them.

How did you feel the first few weeks after having a child?

Plus, more from The Bump:

Checklist: Mom’s Postpartum Must-Have Supplies

Crotch Care 101: The Truth About Healing After Baby

Why You Hate Your Husband (After Baby Arrives)