I think it was Patrick Henry who said, “Give me liberty or the royal baby!” and I’ve got to hand it to the guy because I couldn’t have said it any better myself. Each and every day, the rumor mill (both English and American!) gives us so much Kate Middleton and Prince William news to digest that I’m actually confusing myself. I’m just so ready for this royal baby to be here that I’m filled with so many questions: Is a girl? a boy? at the very least, a human?

With the royal due date fast approaching (spoiler alert! Kath is due this July, y’all!), the theorists keep coming out of the woodwork with all sorts of ‘news’ on her pregnancy. I’ll admit, it’s hard to keep up. So we decided not to sort fact from fiction (because the royal couple has kept very mum on their very royal bundle!), but instead to charm you with the most confounding, confusing and conflicting theories we’ve heard so far during the Duchess of Cambridge‘s adorable pregnancy! Have at ‘em:

1. Kate went on a ‘babymoon’ exactly 5 minutes after announcing her pregnancy. After leaving the hospital for her stay (the Duchess was treated for her severe morning sickness shortly after she and the Will) revealed they were expanding their family together, Kate joined her husband and her parents for some much needed (and much deserved!) R&R. What she didn’t do, however, was jet off on a babymoon. Seriously — her parents were there! Oh, and so were the paps.

2. They’re having a boy. According to the Chinese Gender Chart, based on her age and our best guess at the month of their conception, Kate and Will are most likely expecting a perfect little prince come July.

3. No, wait, they’re having a girl! On the same day that Kate debuted her adorable bump, the Duchess reportedly slipped up after someone in the crowd handed her a sweet teddy bear. Kate apparently said, “Oh, this is for our d…” Fdgjdfgdfjgdfjgdfgdfg! Since everyone believed Kate was about to say “daughter“, royal princess fever took over.

4. JK, they’re still having a boy! Did you really think Kate would slip up in front of the cameras? Nah ah! According to the Daily Star, Kate and William know they’re expecting an heir to the throne and have chosen a very familial name to bestow upon the future King.

5. Gotcha again! See how gullible you are? They’re having a girl! For all of you out there who placed your bet on the couple welcoming an heiress to the monarchy, prepare to collect! The expectant parents reportedly know they’re having a girl and have chosen a royal, regal and 100% classical name for their little girl. We love it ’cause it’s a nod to all the important women in Will and Kate’s lives!

6. OMG I could do this all day! Seriously. They’re having a BOY. Know how we know? According to CelebrityBabyScoop, Kate reported confided in some army wife friends of hers that she recently purchased a light blue Bugaboo buggy for her darling little lad. The army wives were going to stay Kate’s royal confidants and they they realized they’d get paid the big bucks if they spilled the beans to reporters the world over.

7. Okay, but really, they’re having a girl! Because why else would Kate choose this color for her nail polish? The U.K based polish company, Butter, created the pretty (and purpley!) color for the Duchess. It’s called “Pitter Patter” when really, they should have called it We’re-going-to-confuse-you-again-just-because-we-can.

8. They don’t know what they’re having so they’re taking suggestions — from COMMONERS. The horror! But apparently, not so far from the truth. Kate played coy in front of reporters and said that she and William have picked names for a baby girl and a baby boy — but they don’t know which they like best, so they’re soliciting advice from Kate’s friends, who keep texting her baby name suggestions. Hey, Kate, if you’re still taking opinions — we’ve got tons!

9. We know exactly what the baby will look like. I’ll tell ya, technology today. Amirite or amirite? Okay, fine, we don’t really know which traits the royal babe will pick up from mom and pop, but we did have a lot of fun creating the royal baby. Since we ran ourselves in circles trying to decide if she was having a boy (or a girl!), we decided to mock up both a she and he. They’re pretty cute, no?

10. Kate’s baby shower broke from royal tradition and boy, was it a fairy-tale. Apparently, Pippa wanted to throw her big sis a down-to-earth baby shower but the royals weren’t having it. Fast forward to today, when someone created this dream-like image of Kate, grandma-to-be, the Queen, Pip, Kate’s mum, Carole, and Kate enjoying her baby shower. And yes, if you were wondering, they are celebrating on a cloud.

11. But really, she is having a baby shower. The shower was all Pippa’s idea, even though it’s not a royal tradition. Last we heard, Kate was really hoping that the Queen would attend.

12. Sorry, no shower. Because it’s not royal tradition, royal experts say that there won’t be a royal baby shower. Aside from the fact that they’re not commonplace in the UK (though the trend is just starting to pick up over there!), Victoria Arbiter, an ABC News Royal Expert, says that there would be, “added pressure that they are clearly very wealthy and a lavish baby shower would be seen as highly inappropriate. There’s nothing they can’t go out and buy themselves.”

13. Baby-to-be prefers the soothing sounds of the Black Eyed Peas, sung in a Capella by her father. I kid you not. According to “insiders”, the royal baby loves to listen to the Black Eyed Peas hit jam, ‘Lets Get It Started in Here!’ Not only does the baby like the song, but she loves when her daddy-to-be sings it.

Confused yet?

Call me crazy, but sometimes I honestly forget just how normal Kate Middleton can be. The Duchess of Cambridge may be one of — if not the most — idolized woman in the world, but when she speaks, I swear, it’s like I’m talking to one of my girlfriends. And now that the Duchess is expecting her first baby in July with her husband, Prince William, the icon is dishing on what being a mom really means — and what she’s scared of!

Okay, okay, so we’ve allllllllll heard the news: the Duchess of Cambridge and her husband, Prince William supposedly jetted off to some private island for a babymoon. And while we’re really happy for the parents-to-be (and also really, really jealous!), we know that this isn’t really a babymoon for the excited twosome. Here’s why:

1. Fun fact: They’re also on vacation with Kate’s parents. Yep, Carole and Michael Middleton are also sitting poolside in Mustique with their daughter and son-in-law. So much for romance, huh?

2. Did we forget that these two are the future Queen and King of England? They have engagements ALL. OVER. THE. WORLD. This won’t be the first (or last) time that the Duchess has to travel before baby arrives.

3. Can you spy the ‘baby’ in ‘babymoon’? Kate is barely (yes, barely!) showing. As in, you’ve got to squint in order to get your eyes on her teeny, tiny bump. Usually, when you’re on a babymoon, you can actually see the baby bump in a bathing suit.

4. They have plenty of time (and money) to plan a proper babymoon. Do you want mom and dad crashing your last romantic getaway before baby comes along? Don’t think so. These two can go anywhere in the world — as remote or as public as they choose — for their babymoon.

5. If it were really a babymoon, wouldn’t they have kept it a secret? Though it’s almost impossible that these two can go anywhere without a trail of paparazzi behind them, chances are that palace officials would be much more hush-hush about where the mum and dad-to-be were headed on their last hurrah before becoming parents.

Do you think William and Kate are really on a babymoon? Or just a trip with family?

Plus, more from The Bump:

10 Tips to Plan the Perfect Babymoon

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We’re still a teensy bit obsessed with the future royal baby — and probably will be until he/she makes an arrival (in about six months!), maybe longer. Until then, we’re getting our royal fix with British-themed baby gear. Check out these adorable picks for your little prince or princess.

Plus, more from The Bump:

Pregnant Celebrities

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Since news of the royal baby first spread across the airwaves (and the Atlantic!), celebrities and commoners alike having been serving up some of their very best unsolicited parenting advice for the expectant mom and dad! Advice ranged from which pillow worth investing in to baby names to what to look forward to as the big day approaches, seems like everywhere, someone has some tips for the Duchess and her growing bump.

Famous reality TV star Snooki told Kate, “Enjoy your pregnancy and be excited. Enjoy your time at home – or the castle, in her case.” She also famously suggested Middleton use a Boppy pillow in the event that she breastfeeds her child. Snooki added, “every new mom should have one.”

Snooki even went so far as to remind Kate that tough times lie ahead, after the baby comes, but she assures the Duchess that “you’ll get to know him/her, keep them safe and fall more in love each day.” Kind of obvious, no?

And the advice just didn’t end there. Recently, English business magnate Richard Branson told the couple that the baby will bring “the happiest days of your life to look forward to!”

But perhaps the most interesting piece of advice came from Popstar Ed Sheeran. Thinking way down the road, he had some very specific baby name advice, saying, “I just think it’s time for someone in the Royal Family to have a rock ’n’ roll name for their kids. Call it Ziggy or Twig. This is the time. If ever’s the time to do it, it is now.”

Quite a unique crowd that’s come out to give the Duke and Duchess some parenting advice, huh? Think they’ll listen?

What advice would you give to a first-time mom and dad?

Plus, more from The Bump:

6 Reasons Prince William Will Be a Great Dad

According to the Chinese Gender Chart, Kate Middleton Is Pregnant With a Baby…

6 Royal Nursery Ideas Fit for Life in the Palace

While it doesn’t look like Prince Harry will be settling down any time soon, it does look like he’s quite ready to settle into his newest role as royal Uncle! With a future niece or nephew on his/her way, we pulled together some of our most regal and royal advice for Uncle Harry once the baby makes its famous debut!

1. Don’t take the baby to Vegas. Now, we’re pretty sure that Royal officials have already given Harry a list of dos and don’ts when it comes to the baby, but we just want to stress the importance of nixing an Uncle-and-baby-only Vegas extravaganza. While it’s not totally frowned upon for babies to show their bottoms in public, it is for Royal Uncles.

2. Shower your niece/nephew with lots of love. Alright, we know Harry won’t have a problem making sure this happens but hey, a little reminder never hurt. We can’t wait to see pictures of these two hanging out together inside and out of the palace!

3. No clubbing. The only bash this royal babe will be headed for is the bring your own bottle event at Buckingham Palace. So if Harry wants to spend some quality time with his adorable niece or nephew, he’s going to have to trade in his club slammers for a pajama party and a pacifier — but we’re willing to bet that won’t be hard to do.

4. Let mom and dad pick out baby’s Halloween costume. Given Harry past scandalous Halloween costumes, we’re going to gently suggest mom and dad are the only two people who get a say in what baby wears for his or her first Halloween.

5. Spend lots of time together. Commoners have a hard enough time making sure they see their little nieces and nephews enough — imagine how difficult a royal schedule will be to maneuver. Still, we bet Harry will set plenty of time aside for the the little one and we can’t wait for the (adorable) photos!

6. Practice safe habits around the baby. Eons ago (in 2002) Harry got in a bit of trouble when his dad, Prince Charles, discovered he was smoking weed illegally and drinking underage. After returning from a drug-rehabilitation clinic, we’re hoping Harry’s a changed man and will pass on only the best advice to his niece or nephew.

7. Pack an extra bag of clothes. We all saw photo-proof that Harry likes to unwind, relax and shed his clothes. Since he’s living under a royal microscope, we’re thinking some trips with the wee one would be good for Harry. He’d learn to pack a change of clothes (for baby and himself!) to avoid any unwanted photos finding their way back to Grandmother Queen.

What advice would you give your brother or sister before becoming an aunt or uncle?

Plus, more from The Bump:

Top 10 New Dad Fears

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