After having my second beautiful baby in December of last year, I’ve had a few months to adjust to life as a mother of two, and I’m finding things to be very different than my first go at this.

I wholeheartedly believe that – for me -- it has been much easier to transition from one child to two than it was to go from no children to one. My comfort level is better, my understanding of what my daughter needs is better, and my knowledge of what I need is better. I’ve had the realization recently that I’m not doing a few things I did last time around, and it’s making all our lives a little less chaotic!

The biggest change is that this time I’m not sitting up watching my daughter’s sweet face while she sleeps, like I did so often with my son. When he was so little, I was constantly checking on him. Is he breathing? Did I put too many clothes on him? Is he warm enough? Is the sleep sack on correctly? It was constant and it took me a long time to relax when he went to sleep. This time around? My head hits the pillow as soon as my daughter’s eyes flutter closed. I’m a whole lot more rested and it helps me tackle everything else with a bit more patience.

And — while we’re talking about sleep — I also haven’t been intervening at every noise. When my son was a newborn, I’d often pick him up to change, feed, or comfort him at the very first bleat. Most of the time I’d been waking him before he was ready, leading to a very cranky baby and a very confused mama. Now? I give my daughter a little time to see if she’s actually waking up or just making noises in her sleep. She sleeps much better than he did at this point and I know some of that has to do with the fact that I’m not constantly waking her before she’s ready to be awake.

One final thing I haven’t been doing is obsessing over her developmental milestones. With my son, I tracked and monitored and watched every little milestone he had, worrying constantly if he’d make his milestones on time. With my daughter? I know she’ll get to each one on her own time. Me playing or interacting with her to help her obtain a goal isn’t going to make it happen any faster in most cases. I can just relax, play, and she’ll get there on her own time.

What are some things you haven’t done (or don’t plan to do) with your next child?

Plus, more from The Bump:

Why I Waited 5 Years to Have Another Baby

Here’s to Having It All — You Can, Mama!

Are You Ready for Another Baby?

When it comes to keeping a secret, Jessica Simpson is second to none!

Okay, okay, only kidding — but seriously, this mama-to-be (for the second time!) cannot keep her mouth closed! Fortunately for us, though, Jess’s lack of a filter has made for some salaciously good headlines. Her latest slip up, though, might be my favorite.

It sounds like Jess and her fiancé Eric Johnson have settled on a name for their second child. A source revealed, “She’s told people she’s going to name the baby Ace!” And while I didn’t think I would love it — I totally do.

Ace is retro, funky and 100% vintage with a little edge. It reminds me of a heartthrob from the ’20s or ’50s, with a Cadillac and a flair for trouble.  And I absolutely love that Ace is a total 180% from Maxwell Drew, who was named after family members on both Jess and Eric’s side. Jess even said of the name choice for baby Maxwell, “It’s nothing shocking and nothing you’ll have to add to the dictionary. Still, when people hear it they’ll know …why.” I love that they picked a family name for their first born, and I’m crossing my fingers that they stick with Ace for baby number 2!

Another reason I love the name Ace? I think it’s a huuugeeeeee hit that Jess is pregnant with a baby boy! And as much as I love seeing a mini-Jess in Maxwell Drew, I really would love to the threesome add a baby boy to the mix!

Do you like Jess and Eric’s name choice? Think she’s really having a boy?

Plus, more from The Bump:

Jessica Simpson Is Pregnant With Baby Number 2!

Jessica Simpson Confirms Her Pregnancy in the Cutest Way Possible

Pregnant Jessica Simpson Bares It All — Would You?

My toddler is going through a “mommy phase.” She wants me all the time, whether it’s to give her or a bath or read her stories at bedtime or kiss her boo-boos when she falls. I’m the one she calls for when she wakes up in the morning. When I dare to leave the room, she bursts out in tears, running after me.

It’s been going on for several weeks now. Sure, it can be inconvenient and overwhelming at times, and I’ll roll my eyes or complain to my husband about it, but you know what? I secretly love it.

And yet I feel guilty about loving it because I know how much it hurts my husband when she rejects him, saying, “No, Daddy,” and runs to me. I know, because our son when through a similar phase around the same age – yet instead of wanting his mommy, he was attached at the hip to his daddy. I don’t recall how long he played favorites, but at the time it felt like forever.  And I was crushed.

Sure, the rational side of me knew it was a phase, that it was part of his cognitive development and quest for independence – similar to the time when he would only eat white foods. Yet the emotional side of me was heartbroken and jealous. It felt like a personal affront, that he loved my husband more or that my husband was a better parent than me. I even remember breaking down in tears at one point when my son passed me over yet again, in favor of his dad.

Eventually everything equaled out, but that experience still stings. And while my husband won’t admit it, I think that’s how he’s feeling now. No one likes to be the runner-up. So even though the nurturing (and, yes, selfish) momma in me relishes being the one my daughter turns to, I don’t want to encourage her favoritism at my husband’s expense – because he’s an amazing and incredible dad. And the reality is that I know our kids love us both very much.

But how to level the playing field? Here are some of our strategies:

Step aside. As much as I love tucking her in at night, I’ve been turning most of those duties over to my husband (at least for the time being) to ensure they can share some special moments every day.

I’m outta here. On the weekends, I’ll duck out for an hour or two to run errands, and when I come back, I’ll often find the two of them – plus my older son – all playing together and having a blast. The best part? After a tearful minute or two, she didn’t even realize I was gone.

Persistence … and patience. Thankfully, my husband is a patient man. Instead of making a big deal when she shuns him (like I know I would), he stays even-keeled, telling her that he loves her and he understand that right now she wants Mommy.

What do you do when your kids prefer one parent over the other?

Plus, more from The Bump:

5 Wacky Parenting Methods… That Work?

10 Biggest New-Mom Surprises (and How to Deal)

7 Surprising (and Sweet!) Things About Being a Mom

I am like most of you: a mom trying to juggle a full-time job, motherhood, marriage, some semblance of a personal life, friendships and, of course, my sanity. I have a 6-year-old son, “Buddy,” and a 20-month-old daughter, “Mimi.”

When people ask me how old my children are, I usually get the same reaction: “Wow, that’s a big age difference!” or “Hmm, they’re not very close in age, are they?” or – my personal favorite – “You sure did wait awhile!” (Yes, someone was insensitive enough to actually say that to me).

This always makes me laugh because I don’t consider five years to be a huge age difference. Of course, I may be biased, considering my sister and I are four years apart, and my husband is five years older than his sister. But it wasn’t like we had a master plan when it came to spacing out our children. We weren’t on a “schedule”; it’s just how things turned out. We moved from Baltimore to the Boston suburbs just before Buddy’s first birthday, and it took us awhile to not only adjust to our new surroundings, but also to the demands of being parents to an increasingly independent and curious little guy. He took so much of our time and energy that the thought of having to share myself with another child, and divert my attention from him, seemed heart-breaking… and completely overwhelming.

And, honestly, we wanted to enjoy our time with our son. By the time we got through the sleepless newborn nights and the terrible twos and the potty training, we had a pretty good thing going on. Buddy had a little independence and we finally had our bearings. The three of us could go out to dinner and the movies and the zoo. We could sleep in (kind of). We were perfectly content as a little family of three.

We also didn’t want to rush into baby #2. We wanted to make sure we were ready, both physically and emotionally. Plus, there’s everything else to take into consideration when deciding to have another child: finances, child care, lifestyle. We figured we would know when we were there.

And we did. Around Buddy’s fourth birthday, baby fever kicked in, and for the first time I felt truly ready to do it all over again: the midnight feedings and the diapers and the sleep deprivation. It felt right.

Enter Mimi, nine months later.

I have to say, there have been some unexpected benefits to having a large age gap between your kids, besides the fact that (unless you’re like us and have an older child with a September birthday who misses the kindergarten cut-off) you avoid the financial hit of paying “double daycare” or simultaneous college tuitions.

There’s the obvious: only one child in diapers. Buddy is independent, able to play on his own, use the bathroom by himself, grab a snack from the fridge. He is also extremely helpful, whether it’s grabbing a bib for me or handing me the telephone, which I think helped make him feel involved, especially when Mimi was small. And there is less sibling rivalry: he can use his words and communicate if he’s feeling left out or sad or needs us for something.

But at the same time, there are also some drawbacks. They’re on completely different developmental levels. While Buddy is trying to read and sound out words, a drooling Mimi wants to chew on his books like a teething ring. Because they will be five grades apart, they’ll never be in the same school at the same time.  I worry that they’re not going to have much of a bond growing up, that they’ll find it hard to relate to each other. Just think: what does a 14-year-old boy have in common with his 9-year-old sister?

We all have our reasons for waiting to have another child – or not waiting. Maybe there were fertility struggles the first time around. Maybe there are financial or logistical considerations. Maybe you want to get the diaper stage over in one fell swoop.  And then sometimes Mother Nature has something totally different in store for you.

For me, I’m thankful I had so much one-on-one time with my son. Waiting nearly five years before having another baby ensured I was emotionally prepared and able to cope with a second child. It also means that I’ll be able to give my daughter the same kind of attention when her brother is off at school or Little League or other “big kid” activities.

And I tell myself that a large age gap doesn’t mean they won’t be close or get along. It just means that we may have to work on it a bit more. Right now, they actually do seem to enjoy each other’s company. I see how much Buddy adores his sister (even if he tortures her at times and refuses to let her in his room) and how much Mimi idolizes him (even though she tattles on him.)

So for all the talk and debate over the “ideal” age difference between your kids, I firmly believe there is no right or wrong answer. You have to do what’s right for you and for your family. All that matters is that your children – regardless of their age difference – grow up surrounded by love. The rest will fall into place.

How far apart did you space your children? Did you plan it that way?

Plus, more from The Bump:

Waiting for Baby #2 Could Make Baby #1 Smarter

51 Ways to Save Up for a Baby

How Many Kids Should We Have?

A friend of mine just had a baby. Her third. You might think at my age and stage, when just about everyone I know has had at least one or two kids, that the new-baby excitement may have worn off. Not so. I waited breathlessly for my friend’s Facebook updates, checked email and voicemail, eagerly awaiting the news. Would it be another girl, as expected? What would they name her? When would they send out a picture?

One of the cool things about babies, in my opinion, is that they are the great equalizer. I’ve seen big, burly construction-worker types go all googly in the presence of a baby. I’ve seen too-cool-for-school teenagers, grumpy old ladies, and buttoned-up businessmen go gaga for babies. How can you look at a tiny bundle of cuteness and not melt a little?

One of the funniest things I’ve ever seen is when my own three-year-old son, who is more a rough-and-tumble kid than the sentimental type, was saying good-bye to some friends of ours who’d stopped by with their two-year-old son and new daughter. The toddler boys played with trucks the whole time and seemed oblivious of the newborn. But then my son shouted out the door as they were leaving, “Bye! I like your baby!”

People often assume that because I go cuckoo for cutie-pies, I must want another baby of my own. That is not the case. The two kids I’ve got are plenty, thanks. I will hold your baby till the cows come home, rock her, snuggle him, sniff that fuzzy little head, but I have no problem handing them back and going home for a full night of uninterrupted sleep. I’m done with midnight feedings, colic, spit-up, teething — diapers, even! No going back now. But that doesn’t keep me from being thrilled when someone else is having another one. Mazel tov!

Though little ones do grow up fast, as any mom ever has been told a thousand times, the excitement of welcoming a new person into the world never gets old. Now pass me your baby, would you?

Do you know how many kids you want to have?