Looks like there’s trouble a-brewin’ across the pond! Prime Minister of England, David Cameron, has gone and done the unthinkable (and the unexplainable!). He’s insulted stay-at-home mothers.

Here’s how it happened:

The British government announced that “working parents earning up to £150,000 each will get up to £1,200 to help with child care because they have a “greater need” than those who do not work,” the Telegraph reports. The scheme only applies to households where both parents are working or in single parent households where the parent is employed. Under the billion dollar plan, up to 2.5 million families will be able to claim vouchers to help subsidize the cost of childcare.

Britain’s genius policy excludes 1.2 million stay-at-home parents. And to make matters worse, the PM had some very choice words for SAH mums and dads. Good ole’ Cameron’s official spokesman (who will probably be unemployed after all of this — just sayin’!) responded to a comment by press asking if the Prime Minister was concerned that the vouchers penalized SAHMs. And the official spokesman responded on behalf of the PM that the measures were “very important as part of supporting those who want to work hard and to get on.” Uh, sorry — but can you explain again how SAHM or SAHD’s are not working hard? And not getting on? ‘Cause to be honest, I’m a little confused.

But here’s the real kicker — the press continued with questions, asking whether or not Mr. Cameron “believed that stay-at-home parents were less in need of state help than working parents.” The spokesman, who officially dug his own grave with this response, said that the Prime Minister wanted to support “aspiration.” AGAIN — SO CONFUSED. How are SAH parents not aspiring?

Never fear! The insults just kept on comin’. The spokesman (can this guy stop talking already?!) added, “The announcement is very specifically focusing on helping those who want to work hard and face the very high child care costs.” He then said that the Prime Minister stressed that the Coalition wants to direct its help at parents “who want to go out to work.”

Let’s pause for a minute here. Where does the Prime Minister — or his quick-to-talk spokesman — come off saying that stay-at-home parents don’t want to go out at work? Perhaps these parents are hardworking but couldn’t afford the cost of childcare, so they made the difficult decision to become SAH parents in order to support their families the best way they could? Sounds like a definite possibility, doesn’t it?

And not to state the obvious here, but isn’t pregnant Kate Middleton technically going to be a stay-at-home mum once the royal babe makes her debut?

Do these comments upset you?

Plus, more from The Bump:

Working Moms vs. Stay-at-Home Moms

What It’s Really Like to Be a Stay-at-Home Mom

A Week in the Life of a Stay-at-Home Mom

I can remember one specific day in particular when I was struck with that dreaded disease that plagues so many parents: mom guilt. It was a Saturday. My 18-month-old son had been awake, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, since 6:30 a.m. Since we were up and in dire need of caffeine, my husband and I decided to all go out for breakfast.

We picked a neighborhood restaurant, nicer than a diner but still kid-friendly. Or so I thought. As a pile of crumbs and table scraps began to accumulate under my son’s high chair, I saw the guy who was sweeping the floor eye him warily. “Sorry about that. He’s going to keep you busy,” I half-joked. The guy did not smile back. Nice. The sun was barely up and I was already feeling guilty.

Since I became a mom, guilt is pretty much my constant state of being. I felt guilty for keeping my doula at the hospital for the bazillion hours I was in labor. I felt guilty for sending the baby to the nursery for a couple hours so I could sleep. I felt guilty for not being overjoyed every second of every day. I felt guilty for snapping at my husband. I felt guilty for not calling people back. You name it, I felt guilty about it.

Guilt is a funny thing. There are some people who will tell you it’s a wasted emotion. Get over it, get on with it. I am in awe of people who can do that. But then there are other people who feed your guilt. Just mention breastfeeding, natural childbirth, or working vs. stay-at-home moms, stand back, and watch the guilt-inducing comments fly.

The thing I’ve gradually realized, though, is that you can either make it your problem or not. Just because someone’s trying to make you feel guilty about something doesn’t mean you have to let them. And you know what else? Most of the time, people like that are feeling guilty about something THEMSELVES. Why else would someone get all bent out of shape over a stranger’s choice about how to live her life?

Even though I’ve gotten better about it, I haven’t given mom guilt the boot entirely. No way. I still overtip at restaurants if when my children make a mess and/or misbehave. But there are some things I refuse to feel guilty about. Like my particular work/family balance, or what I feed my kids, or paying a professional to clean my house from time to time.

There are plenty of legitimate reasons to feel guilty as a parent. But leaving some crumbs under a highchair at a restaurant is not one of them. Save it for when your kid’s older and you forget – again – to send in money on school picture day and your child is the only one not photographed for the yearbook. Oops. Guilty as charged.

How do you deal with mom guilt?

Plus, more from The Bump:

How to Deal With Working Mom Guilt

You Know You’re a Mom When…

12 Worst Things Ever Said to a New Mom

When my first child was a baby, before I started working again, my husband and I had the co-parenting thing down pretty well — at least on Monday. By Friday, though, it was a different story. My weeks tended to go something like this:

MONDAY: Baby wakes up, Dad gets him, changes him, takes him downstairs. Mom steals an extra few minutes of sleep before Dad leaves for work. Baby plays on floor while Mom makes coffee, thinking about how lucky she is to not have to squeeze into a suit and sit in traffic. Mom whistles, baby giggles. Both are clean and dressed. Meals go smoothly, naps are on schedule, and Mom might even get to the grocery store and make dinner.

TUESDAY: Baby wakes up, Dad gets him, changes him, takes him downstairs. Ten minutes later, Dad claims he has to leave early to pick up the dry-cleaning. Mom attempts to get a few more minutes of sleep with the baby, but baby is not interested. He IS exceptionally smiley and dressed in a cute outfit, though, so Mom doesn’t mind. In the afternoon, naps go well and Mom gets some stuff done around the house. Dad makes dinner.

WEDNESDAY: Baby wakes up, Dad gets him, but doesn’t have time to change him or take him downstairs before work. Mom reluctantly gets up, wrestles baby into his clothes, and attempts to keep him from diving into the empty tub while she goes to the bathroom. Downstairs, Mom pulls baby away from plugs, oven, dog bowl, and trash can while she fixes breakfast. Morning nap lasts 12 minutes. Baby’s new favorite game is “Bash Heavy Objects Against the Dishwasher Door.”

Unshowered and dressed in sweats, Mom drags baby to the mall to get out of the house. Dad works late, Mom misses yoga, and there’s nothing for dinner except peanut butter sandwiches.

THURSDAY: Baby wakes up crying at 4:30 a.m. Dad goes and rocks him back to sleep. Baby wakes up again after Dad has already left for work. Baby is soaked, crib is soaked, and the dog has peed on the kitchen floor. Mom reheats day-old coffee and throws some Cheerios on the highchair tray to soothe crying baby. Both Mom and baby are wearing dirty pajamas and could use a bath. It’s too cold to go anywhere. Naps turn into hour-long wrestling matches. The TV stays on all day long. Dr. Oz is actually pretty interesting.

FRIDAY: Baby wakes up crying at 5 a.m. and stays awake. Dad says, “You can get him this time,” then rolls over and sleeps through his alarm clock.

The box of wipes is empty. Baby head-butts Mom in the nose while trying to jump off the changing table, then manages to slam his fingers in a drawer. Mom feels like the worst Mom ever.

There is no coffee and no milk for breakfast. Baby alternately fusses, cries, and shrieks throughout the day. No naps are taken. In a last-ditch attempt to get baby to sleep, Mom takes the long way to the grocery store and sits in the parking lot until baby wakes up.

On the way home from work, Dad stops at the liquor store and the barber shop WITHOUT ASKING. Mom passes baby off to Dad, then stomps upstairs to sulk and send out her resume for jobs involving extensive overseas travel.

Later, after the baby is fed and in bed, she goes downstairs. Apologies are made. Takeout is ordered. A movie is rented. Another week in the life of a stay-at-home mom has come to an end.

Stay-at-home moms, can you relate? What was your experience like?

Plus, more from The Bump:

Staying Happy as a Stay-at-Home Mom

Checklist: Working Mom vs. Stay-at-Home Mom

What It’s Really Like to be a Stay-at-Home Mom

“I will ALWAYS want to work full-time!  I’ll NEVER stay at home with children!”

Yep. I said that prior to children. And now?  I’m eating my words.

Recently, my husband and I made the very significant decision that I would be quitting my job after having baby number two due at the end of December.

This decision came after much thought, postulating, and planning how we would make things work relying on only one income, even with my ability to supplement our income somewhat unreliably with small side-jobs. It came with sacrifice, in many areas. We don’t have cable television, and haven’t for over a year. We don’t buy each other or ourselves expensive gifts. We rarely eat out or go to movies. We buy most of what we own gently used and are very thrifty in what we do have to purchase new. The sacrifices, however, have been completely worth it for our family. To be candid — they really don’t even seem like sacrifices to either myself or my husband.

When I initially returned to work after having my first child, everyone said that it would get easier. The constant worrying about him, the sadness of missing out on what he was doing all day long, the little smiles I wouldn’t see throughout the day — it never got better for me. I found myself wishing I was home even more as he began to grow older, become more interactive, and gain the ability to recognize and verbalize his displeasure that I was gone for so long each day.

On my days off at home, it was easy to recognize that as a family we were all happier. No matter how tough the day could be with my small child at home, I was much happier being at home with him. Whether there were tears, food thrown on the floor, nap strikes, or any other events that make your day extremely tough as a stay at home parent, I always knew in my heart I’d choose the worst day with my son over the best day at work. On the great days at home, I realized that I would never grow tired of reading to my child, playing games with him, teaching him as much as I possibly could. While every mother needs adult time — I didn’t feel like I had to have a daily break from my child to be happy or successful. I completely understand the mothers that do, because some days staying at home with your child or children can be tough. But I just never felt that I needed that.

After six years of university and a master’s degree, I never thought I’d be in this place — but, here we are. I’ve always loved my job. Working in healthcare has been amazing for me, in that I love to help my patients and clients change their lives. My job as a speech pathologist has been extremely rewarding and fulfilling, in many ways. But, for me, it will never be able to make up for what I felt I was missing out on with my child during those times.

I’m extremely lucky to have the opportunity to be at home with my children more frequently than I was previously. I’m so lucky to have a spouse that supports my desires to do so. And I’m so lucky that I know what works for me and I’ve learned my path as a parent.

As mentioned above, as a parent, I’ve learned to never say never.

Because, most times, you end up eating your words.

How did you decide whether to work or to stay home?

Could a desk and non-mom duties help your health? A new study says yes. Conducted by Adrianne Frech and Sarah Damaske, the study analyzed women who became mothers between 1978 and 1995. After adjusting for other influencers, such as prior health, prior employment, marital status and age at baby’s birth, the researchers concluded that moms who work full time are happier and healthier than moms who stay at home, work part time, or moms who find themselves repeatedly out of work.

Frech and Damaske found that women who went back to work shortly after giving birth reported better mental and physical health at age 40 than their peers. Frech feels going to work offers benefits than staying at home can’t.

“It gives women a sense of purpose, self-efficacy, control and autonomy,” Frech says. “They have a place where they are an expert on something, and they’re paid a wage.” Having a job also offers more opportunities to interact with other people and a chance to get out of the house. No word from the researchers on how exactly this affects physical health, but maybe it has something to do with the fact that the moms were reporting on their own health (if you feel better mentally, it’s likely you’re more likely to say you feel better physically, right?)

That said, Frech and Damaske noted stay-at-home moms were not the unhappiest or unhealthiest of the bunch. They found that persistently unemployed mothers, those who are in and out of the workforce, were the least healthy. Frech says this is due to the stress caused by work instability.

“Struggling to hold onto a job or being in constant job search mode wears on their health, especially mentally, but also physically.”

Ultimately, being a mother is a full time (and often difficult) job. And at the end of the day, I think your child’s happiness should determine your own happiness, not whether or not you get a paycheck.

Are you a stay-at-home mom or working mom? What do you think of the latest studies?

Plus more from The Bump:

Stay-at-Home Moms are More Likely to Be Depressed

Maternity Leave Checklist

Back to Work Guides for New Moms

Every day here at The Bump, we talk about issues that affect moms and moms-to-be: money, maternity leave, relationships, friendships, housework, parenting and more. And like to think we’ve got our fingers on the pulse of what moms really do, want, think and need. But every once in a while we need a statistical reality check.

That’s why we partnered with ForbesWoman to create the ForbesWoman and TheBump 2012 State of The American Mother Survey, so we can get a true glimpse into moms’ biggest challenges and triumphs, decisions and dilemmas.

We want to know what’s going on with you. Make your voice heard — please take our survey now (it takes less than five minutes — promise)!

Could staying at home with baby put you at higher risk for depression? A new Gallup poll suggests it could. For the poll, women from three different groups — stay-at-home moms, working moms and women without children — were asked questions about their own emotions and lives. Working moms reported similar rates of sadness and anger as women without children did, while stay-at-home moms has slightly higher levels of those emotions. The biggest difference, however, was in stay-at-home moms’ reported feelings of depression. 28 percent of them said they’d felt depressed, while only 17 percent of working moms and 17 percent of women without children did.

Those who seemed to have it worst were those with low incomes. When asked if they were struggling, the women with lower household incomes (under $35,000 per year) were most likely to say they were. The stay-at-home moms who were in the low income category were also less likely to say they smiled or laughed a lot, learned something interesting, experienced enjoyment or experienced happiness than the low-income working moms and low-income childless women did.

Do you work or stay at home? How do you think your employment status affects your happiness?

Plus, more from The Bump:

Checklist: Decide Whether to Work or Stay at Home

Postpartum Depression

Back to Work Guide for New Moms